


It's Called A Clitoris And It's Not That Hard To Find

by frankiesin



Series: The Marching Band AU [4]
Category: Bandom, Mindless Self Indulgence, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Marching Band, Genderfluid Gerard Way, Humor, Lindsey Ballato is the ultimate lesbian, Miscommunication, Multi, Pining, a how to guide on vaginas, crushing on a friend and regretting it, friendships, they'll make you do things, this is why you shouldn't talk about WIPs with your friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-21
Updated: 2016-06-09
Packaged: 2018-05-22 12:13:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 45,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6078903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frankiesin/pseuds/frankiesin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gee's having a hard time at school now that they've come out. It gets worse when Lindsey quits band to chase after a cheerleader.</p><p>...or at least that's what Gee thinks is going on with their best friend. Lindsey knows better. Lindsey has a plan.</p><p>(part of the Marching Band AU, can easily be read alone)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Gee, part 1

**Author's Note:**

> So in "How Brendon Almost Got Everyone Killed," I mentioned something about Lindsey turning the entire cheerleading squad gay. I mentioned this to some of my friends and they all immediately demanded that I write that. So, here I am, writing about Lindsey Ballato, Ultimate Lesbian and Master of the Clitoris.
> 
> This is not meant to be taken seriously, and depending on where I go with Lindsey's side of the story, it might go up to an explicit rating. We'll see.

Gee lasted a week before they started skipping school. They started by telling their mom that they were sick, and because their mom was a concerned parent, she let them stay in bed all day. Mikey brought them their homework when he got back from marching band practice, and would sit down in the basement with them. Gee lasted a full week of being fake sick before their mom started to get worried and started to talk about taking them to the doctor. That was when Gee made a decision to go to school but not stay at school.

 

On Monday, Gee miraculously recovered from their illness and got ready for school. They did their makeup and threw on a t-shirt and jeans, even though it was already warm at six in the morning and they would be regretting their attire later. They downed a glass of orange juice and patted Mikey’s head on their way out. Mikey just grunted, because he wasn’t really awake yet and he wasn’t used to the early hours of high school yet.

 

Their mom had agreed to let Gee walk to school, because Gee could actually get ready in the morning, whereas Mikey tended to sleep in past his alarm and then sleep in the car as Gee drove the two of them to school. Gee was totally using that as a way to avoid touching school grounds. 

 

Once Gee was out of the house, they had no idea where to go. Their first thought was to go to Starbucks, because there was coffee and wifi there, and it was right next to the comic store that they went to every weekend. Starbucks was too obvious, though. All of Gee’s friends went to Starbucks. Lindsey worked at Starbucks (only on the weekends, but Gee was paranoid and assumed that she was friends with all her co-workers and one of them would tell her that Gee had been hiding out in Starbucks). 

 

Their next idea was to wander around downtown, but there were too many people there and Gee wanted to go somewhere where there wouldn’t be a lot of people watching them. They could wait until Mikey left for school and then sneak back into their basement bedroom and hide there, but the basement window was small and Gee was not. They couldn’t use the back door, because they had neighbours and the neighbours would probably call Gee’s mom (or Gee’s dad, who was on a business trip) and complain about her delinquent child. 

 

Gee was not a delinquent. They just didn’t want to go back to school and get beaten up again for being genderfluid. They didn’t want to watch Frank get shoved into his own locker, and they didn’t want to have to help Frank clean off all the slurs that got written on his locker while he was stuck inside of it. 

 

Gee and Frank weren’t the only members of the band who were getting bullied, but Frank was a drama queen about that shit, and Gee tended to blow their own problems out of proportion. They were pretty sure that Lindsey had been called a dyke a few times, but Lindsey had her shit together, and had for a while, so that didn’t affect her anymore. And Ray didn’t have to worry about much, because he was the closest thing the band had to a token straight person. 

 

Gee fell down onto a well-placed bench and hunched over, their stringy hair falling into their face. They weren’t sure when they had washed it last, but it had probably been before they started faking sick. They could always run away from home completely and become a homeless person. They’d been called one enough as it was, so the aesthetic was already there. They just had to give up everything they had, which wasn’t a lot.

 

_ Wait, shit. I can’t take Mikey with me, and I can’t just leave him either.  _ Gee thought to themselves, and sat up straight. They couldn’t run away, not when Mikey was still at home and had no idea what Gee was going through. Gee bit down on their fingernail, pulling it off and ripping away at the flesh underneath. They stuck their finger into their mouth and sucked at the small wound, watching as an older woman with a large purse approached them. They tried to make themselves invisible, but it was hard because the sun was coming up and it was too bright to blend in with the shadows.

 

The woman grinned at Gee from behind her large sunglasses and sat down on the bench beside them. “Getting your shopping done early, then?”

 

“...what?” Gee blurted out, which was really rude and their mother had taught them better. The woman lowered her sunglasses so that Gee could see when she arched a badly drawn eyebrow at them. “You know this is the bus to the mall, right? You’re not lost?”

 

Gee shook their head. “Not lost, just… it’s early. I didn’t get coffee this morning.”

 

“Well, I heard they opened up a brand new Starbucks in the food court, I’m sure you’ll do fine, honey.” She was back to smiling at them, and it was a little unnerving. They decided to stare straight ahead and hope that she wouldn’t ask any more questions that they didn’t have the answer to. They also hoped she was right about the new Starbucks at a location that most of their friends wouldn’t bother visiting. 

 

Both of their hopes came true, and Gee spent the next eight hours sitting in a corner table at the brand new Starbucks, getting up every other hour to go buy a new cup of coffee. They plugged their phone in and listened to music, ignoring all the texts they got (a grand total of four), and instead focusing on the comic they had started when they first started skipping school. They were about a page and a half in, because they were an idiot and decided to colour as they went. Their hands were stained up to the wrist, with a large, metallic grey streak that went almost all the way to their elbow from how much sketching they had been doing. They finally quit and packed up around three, deciding to just head home and decide what they would be doing about band practice once they were in Belleville again.

 

They almost fell asleep on the bus, which was terrifying, because they had never used the bus before that day. If they’d missed their stop, they’d be stuck on the bus forever because they had no idea when to get off. (They realised, as they got off at the right stop, that they had a phone with a GPS and that they’d be fine as long as they had data.)

 

Gee had almost gotten home, ready to tell their mom that they’d gotten a headache at school and weren’t up to going to practice when they changed their mind. They missed their friends, and they missed band, and it wasn’t as though anyone in band would be saying shit to them or Frank. Most of the marching band was gay in some form or fashion. Most of the band was getting victimised by the football team (and the basketball team, because apparently all jocks were assholes). 

 

They snuck into the band room and dropped their backpack in the instrument room. They held onto their phone, though. They headed to the field, where a group of band kids had already set up a picnic blanket and were whispering together. Gee recognised Ray’s hair immediately, followed by Brendon, who had changed his hairstyle completely during Gee’s week of being sick. Brendon’s too-long emo kid hair was gone, replaced with a quiff that bobbed up and down when he moved his head. It looked good.

 

Brendon looked up at Gee, and his eyes widened. “Whoa, Gee! You’re alive!”

 

“I told you they were just sick, Breb.” Ray said. Brendon made a sass face at Ray and then turned back to Gee. “So, you’re better now, right? Because you’ve missed the best gossip ever. We made Ray wait to tell you until you could get here and see it for yourself, because there was no way you’d believe us otherwise.”

 

“Did someone die?” Gee asked. Chantal, who was sitting behind Ray and had Jimmy’s head in her lap, laughed. Jimmy moved around so that he was propped up on his elbows but still in Chantal’s lap. “You could say that. I’d call it a sort of rebirth, and we still don’t know  _ why _ , but…”

 

Jimmy motioned towards the side of the field, where the cheerleaders were practicing. Gee watched them for a while, but they couldn’t see anything out of the ordinary. They also didn’t know any of the cheerleaders too well, except for Ray’s girlfriend, but Gee couldn’t see Christa from this far away. They turned back to Jimmy, confused. “What am I supposed to be looking for? Did Christa do something weird?”

 

“No, Christa’s fine.” Ray said. He hit at Gee’s calf with his palm. “Different girl. You might not recognise her because she’s started wearing a ponytail instead of pigtails.”

 

Gee stared down at Ray. “ _ Lindsey? _ ”

 

Ray nodded. Gee stared harder. “Why is Lindsey a cheerleader? I thought she hated cheerleaders.”

 

Gee got four shrugs in response. They pushed their hair back with both of their hands. “Did she get a crush on one of the cheerleaders? Because I know her, and she’s kind of an idiot when she thinks she’s in love with a girl.”

 

“I don’t think it’s that.” Ray said, at the same time that Chantal said, “She told me last week that she thought the one with red hair was kind of cute. Hayley or something.”

 

Gee closed their eyes and tried not to scream. Of course, it would be Lindsey to do something like this. Lindsey was great, she was brilliant and accepting and she once shaved her head in sixth grade because she was tired of people seeing her as just pretty. She was also a teenage girl, which mean hormones, and impulsive, which meant badly thought out decisions. Gee shouldn’t have skipped school for an entire week. They could have stopped Lindsey from getting in over her head with the cheerleaders if they had just come back to school earlier. They opened their eyes and sat down beside Ray. “How did this even happen?”

 

“The day when Frank got his lip busted open, she started talking to Christa.” Ray said. “I assumed it was just girl bonding or something, but then next thing I know, one of the other base girls has a broken leg and Christa’s complaining about having to teach a brand new girl how to do all the sets.”

 

“And then Lindsey comes into band practice and tells Schechter that she can’t march because something came up.” Jimmy added. “She tells him in secret, duh, but everyone hears that she’s quitting anyway. Me and Chantey get curious, stalk her a bit, and voila, she’s at cheerleading practice, in a short ass skirt and a ponytail.”

 

“And a bow.” Chantal said, pointing at her head to clarify where the bow was on Lindsey. Gee can’t believe it, so they look back over at the cheerleaders. They squint, and sure enough, those are Lindsey’s legs kicking up in the air, and her dyed black hair whipping around in a ponytail. Gee almost got up and walked over to pull her away and ask what the  _ fuck _ was going on, but then they remembered that they had a target on their back (put their by the popular kids), and that they were probably banned from being within ten feet of any cheerleaders. They would have to ask Lindsey about it later.

 

* * *

 

Marching band practice was weird without Lindsey and her trombone marching around in the corner of Gee’s vision as they directed the band on the field. It got even weirder when they realised that they didn’t have to wait and see if Lindsey needed a ride home or if her mom was around to get her. Gee actually stood around on the edge of the field with Mikey for five minutes after practice ended before they realised that they could just text their mom and go home.

 

They didn’t want to go home, though. They wanted to find out what was going on with Lindsey. They told Mikey to call their mom and head home without them, and Mikey went without really questioning it. They picked at the skin around their fingernail and watched the percussion and drumline pack up their instruments. There had to be a way to find out what was going on with Lindsey. She wouldn’t just quit band for no reason.

 

Gee smacked themself in the face, a resounding  _ duh _ going through their brain. Lindsey’s other best friend (aside from Gee) was on the drumline. Kitty was still here, and if anyone was going to know what was going through Lindsey’s head, it would be Kitty. 

 

Gee waited until the percussionists were done, and then followed Kitty into the instrument room. She let her hair down and shook it out. “Hey Gee. You feeling better yet?”

 

“I guess.” Gee shrugged, shoving their hands into their pockets so they wouldn’t bite their nails. “I heard about Lindsey, and the cheerleader thing. Do you know why she’s doing that? It’s not because of a girl, is it?”

 

“I don’t think so.” Kitty asked. “Why? You’re not… you’re not into her or anything, are you?”

 

“I’m not an idiot, Kitty, I’m not going to fall for my best friend.” Gee rolled their eyes, but their was a little voice in the back of their head going,  _ what if? Lindsey’s pretty, you’re enough of a girl that she might look at you that way… _ Gee ignored it. They had to ignore it. They weren’t going down that road. They weren’t the type to be able to go back to friendship after dating someone. They’d only had one boyfriend before, in eighth grade, and that had been a train wreck waiting to happen. They weren’t going to fuck up their friendship with Lindsey just because she was a little cute.

 

Kitty hoisted her bag up on her shoulder and tucked her drumsticks into one of the outer pockets. “We could always go ask her, if you wanted. My dad has to drive past Lindsey’s apartment anyway. Just text your mom or whatever.”

 

“Yeah, good idea.” Gee said. They texted their mom, and she said yes but told Gee not to stay out too late or spend the night in case they were still sick. Gee told Kitty that they could go, and so the two headed out, locking up the band room as they went. Kitty told her dad that they needed to go by Lindsey’s house, giving him some parent approved excuse as to why. Kitty’s dad didn’t know that Kitty was bi, or that Gee wasn’t a guy. Gee forgot that most families weren’t like theirs, where the parents were accepting of their kids not being Ciseros. Reality outside of their basement was weird and uncomfortable.

 

Gee spaced out for most of the ride to Lindsey’s apartment complex, because the car was quiet aside for the smooth jazz that Kitty’s dad played from the speakers. He stopped outside of the complex, which had a gate and a password that changed all the time, and turned around to the two teenagers in the back. “You two have thirty minutes, but then I need to take Gerard home because I have a conference call at ten. If you need longer, text your mom.”

 

“Okay dad.” Kitty nodded, already getting out of the car. Gee followed, thanking Kitty’s dad. They climbed the wall surrounding the complex and then made their way to Lindsey’s building. Gee knocked on the door, and they were nervous, because what if Lindsey wasn’t even at home? What if her mom wasn’t at home either, or what if Lindsey had moved while Gee had been faking sick?

 

The door opened, though, and Lindsey was on the other side, still in her overdone cheerleading makeup. There were so many sparkles on her eyelids, she looked like a disco ball. There were also sparkles in whatever concealer she was wearing, and they caught the light whenever she moved. Her smile, though, was as big and genuine as always. “Gee! Kitty! Hey guys!”

 

“Can we come in?” Kitty asked, the words sounding uncomfortable. Gee understood that; they’d gotten to the point where they didn’t need to ask to come into Lindsey’s apartment, and Kitty had to be at that level as well. But it felt like everything had changed, and now Lindsey was something different. She wasn’t even wearing red lipstick. It was pink, and super shiny. It looked weird on her. She was still smiling. “Yeah. I think there’s food in the fridge, if you’re hungry? I don’t know, mom hasn’t been here for a few days.”

 

“I’m not hungry.” Gee said, and Lindsey dropped the smile to frown at them. Kitty came in and closed the door. “We’re not here for the food, Lynz. We need to talk to you.”

 

Lindsey folded her arms over her chest. “What about?”

 

“I left you alone for a week and you joined the fucking cheerleader squad.” Gee said. “I know you’re impulsive, and you don’t step down from a challenge, but seriously. What did you get yourself into where you had to go and join the cheerleaders?”

 

“I know what I’m going, Gee.” Lindsey said, cocking her hip out. She was wearing sweatpants. Lindsey never wore sweatpants. She wore Gee’s old, tearing jeans when she was feeling lazy, but she never wore sweatpants. She thought they were dumb and useless. She figured that if a person wanted to laze around without constricting their legs, they should either take their pants off or just wear pajama bottoms. 

 

Kitty let out a snort. “Do you? Because this seems like a lot, even for you.”

 

“Can you at least tell us _ why _ you’re doing this?” Gee asked. “Is it a dare? Are you trying to prove something? Is it because of a girl?”

 

“Oh my God, Gee, not everything I do is because I like someone.” Lindsey rolled her eyes. She turned away from Kitty and Gee for a moment, and then took down her hair before she turned back around. She looked defensive, and Gee wondered if it really was about a girl, and Lindsey was just embarrassed to admit it out loud. Didn’t she know that she could trust the two of them? 

 

“Look, doubt me all you want. Spread whatever rumours will help you sleep at night. But I’ve got this, okay?” Lindsey said. Her jaw was set and there was a challenge in her eyes. Gee had never been on this side of angry Lindsey. “Just give me some time, and then I’ll explain everything. I can’t tell anyone yet, because I think better when it’s just me. You know that, you two know how I think.”

  
“Lindsey…” Kitty started, but Gee shook their head. Lindsey wasn’t going to listen to them, not right now. They turned around and tugged on Kitty’s sleeve. “We should go. Your dad’s waiting.”


	2. Gee, part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this took a while, for multiple reasons. It's also super long, and I almost split it up, but I didn't want Gee's part of the story to be too many chapters.
> 
> Anyway, sorry for the wait, but the chapters for this fic will probably be twice as long as the chapters for my other fics, which means they'll take twice as long to write. So. Updates will happen slower and I apologise.

Life without Lindsey was weird. The first football game where Lindsey was cheering instead of playing threw Gee off the most, and Jimmy had to take control of the band for most of the first half. Jimmy didn’t even tease Gee about it, because he was looking at the cheerleaders with confusion as well. The only difference was that he remembered to turn back around and conduct the marching band whenever their team scored a touchdown. 

 

Gee was fine during half time, because they could just ignore the cheerleaders and Lindsey and focus on keeping everyone in time with the music. The show wasn’t the best, but the band was missing a trombone so Gee wasn’t too upset.

 

That was a lie. They sulked through all of the third quarter, and Mikey almost didn’t eat because Gee was too upset to remember to give Mikey food money. Luckily for everyone involved, Pete Wentz existed, and he was more than willing to buy Mikey food. Gee shook their head and turned away from their younger brother and Pete Wentz making moon eyes over a slice of pepperoni pizza. They couldn’t focus on Frank and Ray’s conversation, though. They were too busy thinking about what Lindsey meant by  _ I know what I’m doing _ . What was she doing? Was it so worth it that she had to drop her entire friend group and change her personality?

 

“Gee, hey, you still with us?” Frank leaned his head on their shoulder. Gee rubbed their hand across their face, probably wrecking their eyeliner but not really caring. Frank had a bruise on his cheek from where he had been punched in the face by someone three times his height. Brendon was back to his emo haircut because he was trying to cover a large cut on his forehead from where he had been slammed against a locker for coming out as bisexual (not that it was news for anyone who knew him). 

 

Gee bumped their head against Frank’s. “Kind of. I’m just having a bad week, I guess.”

 

“It’ll get better.” Ray said reassuringly. He bit into one of Frank’s abandoned fries. “I mean, it has to, right? It can’t get much worse than this?”

 

“It better not.” Frank growled, and Gee repressed a shiver. Frank was terrifying when he was pissed off, like a small ball of fury that couldn’t be stopped by anything except tall objects. If Lindsey was lost to the band forever, they could always replace her with Frank. Frank could be the token scary friend. He was also the token aggressively gay friend, too, but he couldn’t pull off heels like Lindsey could. Frank could never be the token badass Amazon woman friend. That role was for Lindsey alone. 

 

“Yo, we need to head back over, the quarter’s almost over.” Jimmy said, nudging Gee’s lower back with his foot. Frank got off of Gee and grabbed his fries back from Ray. He continued to eat them as the band walked back to the stands in small clumps, occasionally looking over at Ray and giving him suspicious glares. Ray just smiled innocently back because Ray was too good for this world and probably deserved Frank’s fries. Gee walked between the two boys just in case Frank decided to do something dumb. Frank did a lot of dumb things. They were endearing dumb things, though, so Gee let them continue to happen. 

 

Gee managed to stay focused during the fourth quarter, and then afterwards when the whole band headed over to the 24-7 pancake house that existed solely to serve insomniac teenagers (in Gee’s humble opinion). They ordered their usual pancakes and coffee, and joined Mikey, Ray, Pete, and Frank at a table in the back. There was an empty space where Lindsey was supposed to be and Gee was pretty sure they could feel her lack of presence beside them.

 

“Okay, but if I sat on Mikey’s lap--” Pete started to say, and Gee cut him off with a well placed glare. Pete pouted and Mikey leaned his head on Pete’s shoulder. “You didn’t even hear what I was going to say, Gee. Don’t be an asshole.”

 

“You’re dating my brother, I’m allowed to be an asshole.” Gee said, crossing their arms over their chest. Ray shook his head. “Let the emo speak, Gee. He might have something interesting to say, you never know.”

 

Gee frowned. “I doubt it, but alright. What’s your idea, Pete.”

 

“If I sit on Mikey’s lap, we can probably fit Joe and Andy and Patrick here too, and then I won’t have to turn around and shove my butt in your faces to talk to them.” Pete suggested. Mikey’s head was still on his shoulder. Mikey looked at Gee and told them to agree to the plan with his eyebrow. Gee dead-panned back at their brother, who stuck the tip of his tongue out between his lips. Gee sighed. “Fine. Just don’t crush him and don’t make it weird.”

 

“Fuck yeah!” Pete grinned and turned around. “Dudes, come over here, we’re making room.”

 

Gee heard Patrick’s surprised voice asking how Pete had made room, but the three boys at the other table were getting up and moving over. Andy slid in on Gee’s other side, and Frank shoved Pete and Mikey in the corner to make room for Joe and Patrick. Frank was small enough to be half a person, and Mikey was skinny and bony, so Joe and Patrick didn’t have to completely sit on each other. They looked a little uncomfortable being so close to each other, and Joe’s leg was out in the aisle. If Gee hadn’t had their own problems to deal with, they probably would have asked if something was going on. Joe and Patrick had been together since middle school, and they were practically at married couple status, with Pete as the obnoxious son and Andy as the good child who geeked out over Star Wars.

 

Everyone in the band geeked out about Star Wars, though, but Andy had made it into his signature. 

 

Gee didn’t pay much attention to the conversations going on, because their mind was elsewhere. Lindsey, specifically, because when something bothered them, they couldn’t stop thinking about it. It was annoying, and intrusive, and Gee just wanted to know what Lindsey was doing and why she couldn’t tell them about it.

 

The band started filtering out of the pancake house around one in the morning, because most of them had curfews that existed even in the realm of weekends. Gee and Mikey didn’t have a curfew on the weekends, so long as one of them called their parents and gave an estimated return time. Mikey had been abusing the lack of curfew to hang out with Pete, and Gee knew that the two of them were together, even though Mikey wouldn’t tell Gee about it. Gee was bitter about that; Mikey was their brother, and he told them everything about his life. Why was Pete an exception?

 

“Hey, Gee, I’m going to spend the night at Pete’s.” Mikey asked as their table started heading towards the door. “Is that okay?”

 

“Yeah, just call mom and dad first.” Gee said. Mikey stared them down, and Gee knew that he was wondering what the fuck was going on, but Gee was feeling petty. If Mikey wasn’t going to talk to Gee about Pete, then Gee wasn’t going to talk to Mikey about Lindsey. Also, there wasn’t really anything going on with Lindsey, because she wasn’t Gee’s girlfriend or anything, and Gee probably just needed to calm down and get over themselves.

 

They drove home with the windows up and their music at full volume, and didn’t say much to their dad when they passed by him on their way down to the basement. Gee stripped out of their band uniform and into pajamas, and curled up in their bed, wanting nothing more than to go to sleep and not have to think. That, of course, didn’t work, because they couldn’t get their head to shut up and they ended up checking their phone every ten minutes, fruitlessly hoping that Lindsey would text them and explain everything. 

 

* * *

 

Homecoming that year was the same day as one of the marching band’s competition. Gee didn’t know who designed it that way, but they were thankful. If they were at competition, they wouldn’t have to feel bad about missing homecoming. No one had asked them (not a surprise), and since Lindsey was still hanging out with the cheerleaders Gee didn’t even have a friend date. Ray, had their not been a conflict, would have been going to homecoming with his girlfriend of almost two years, and Frank thought that school dances were stupid, so he didn’t go to any. Frank was also gay, and aggressively so after all the shit that the jocks had been giving the band. Gee was surprised that Frank had agreed to continue the good luck kissing that he’d started at band camp, because Gee wasn’t a guy and Gee had a feeling that Frank hated being seen with someone who wasn’t a guy.

 

Regardless, homecoming wasn’t an option for the marching band, but competition was. Some of the band members were complaining, until Jimmy reminded them that homecoming was just a lame rip-off of prom anyway, and then they shut up. The band also collectively decided to have a fake homecoming party at Brendon’s house after competition anyway. Gee was pretty sure they’d be staying home for that. They liked Brendon, and he threw pretty good parties (not that Gee had anything to compare them to), but they were really not in the mood to socialise.

 

They were standing on the side of the field, waiting for the band ahead of theirs to finish. Jimmy was beside them, dancing along to the music. Gee was pretty sure it was a marching band cover of Taylor Swift, but they couldn’t be sure because they didn’t actually listen to Taylor Swift. She just wasn’t their thing. 

 

They felt a tap on their shoulder and turned around to see Frank, in full uniform and holding his saxophone in one hand. Frank smiled up at Gee. “Hey.”

 

“Hey.”

 

“You’re gonna be great, I promise.” Frank said, and then he leaned up and kissed Gee softly. He ran back to his place immediately afterwards, as he always did. Gee guessed that he was just embarrassed to be seen kissing them. It was whatever. The kissing hadn’t ruined their friendship, and Gee was glad that Frank was okay with strange rituals. It made Gee feel better, because Frank wanted the band to do well, and was willing to put his sexuality on the line to make Gee feel better about their drum major abilities. 

 

The band in front of them streamed off, and Gee and Jimmy lead their band onto the field before heading up to the risers. They saluted the announcer when he asked if they were ready, and then the show started. 

 

The band did fantastic, better than they had any other performance so far that season, and as they all filed off the field, Frank reappeared and jumped Gee, almost knocking them over. Frank let go, only keeping one arm slung around Gee’s shoulders. He grinned up at them, and they couldn’t help grinning back. “Don’t ever fucking doubt my abilities, you fucker. I know my shit.”

 

“I never doubted you, Frankie, come on.” Gee rolled their eyes. Frank made a face. “Whatever, Gee, we kicked ass.”

 

“I’m pretty sure marching bands don’t kick ass.” Gee said, grabbing Frank before he could slip on an uneven piece of pavement. It was incredible; on the field, the entire band had flawless movements and were in complete control of their bodies. Off the field, however, they were tripping and falling and running into inanimate objects all the time. 

 

Frank patted Gee on the side of their head. “Metaphorical ass kicking, Gee.”

 

“That’s a thing now?”

 

“Oh, fuck you.”

 

“I thought you were gay.” Gee laughed. Frank looked insulted, and a little flushed. It was probably from the performance. Excess adrenaline and all that. “I  _ am  _ gay!”

 

Gee pinched Frank’s side and giggled at the yelping noise he made. “Then you can’t fuck me. I’m not a guy.”

 

Frank let go of Gee just to push them away. “Okay, first of all, I can do whatever I want to you. With your consent because I’m not a dickhead.”

 

“You just like having dicks near your head.” Gee was enjoying themselves. It was incredible. Maybe all they had needed was a competition and to not have to deal with high school bullshit for a while. 

 

“At my height, everyone’s dick is near my head.” Frank said. His face shifted and he looked a little more serious. Not completely serious, though, not like some horrible thing had crossed his mind and had ruined the atmosphere completely. Frank hooked his arm with Gee’s. “You’re going to Brendon’s afterwards, right?”

 

“I wasn’t planning to.” Gee said. They had a full night of comics and drawing and not thinking about how antisocial they could be ahead of them. They weren’t sure where a Brendon Urie sponsored fake homecoming party fit into all of that.

 

Frank tugged on Gee’s arm, and his hat tilted to the side, pressing his hair against his face. “Gee, come  _ on _ . I know I’m against literally every school function ever, but this is Brendon we’re talking about. He’s actually good at throwing parties. And if you don’t want to do anything ridiculous, I heard that Dallon and Ray are bringing Star Wars and some seasons of Doctor Who to play in the basement. You can always hide down there if it gets too much.”

 

“Fine.” Gee said, because Star Wars always sounded good, and they trusted Dallon’s taste in Doctor Who (mainly because Dallon agreed with them that Nine was the best and most underrated Doctor and that skipping Nine was a cardinal sin). 

 

The band had to wait around for all the other bands to perform, which wasn’t a problem for Gee because bands were fucking cool and they could watch (and critique) performances all day. There were intermittent food runs, and Gee had to stop Pete and Mikey from sneaking off together (because it was a marching band competition and there were certain lines that weren’t meant to be crossed). Ray had burst out laughing when Gee told him about Mikey and Pete’s attempt to go off, but that was partially because Gee had said that they were trying to play Romeo and Juliet and that was a bad example of young romance.

 

Frank had nearly choked on his veggie burger trying to add. “it could be worse, they could be going for  _ Fifty Shades of Grey _ .”

 

Gee threw a stray jacket at Frank. “That’s my brother!”

 

“Hey, he could have been saying that Mikey was the Christian Grey in the relationship, you never know.” Ray added. Gee reached over and grabbed the jacket from Frank’s lap so that they could throw it at Ray. It landed on Ray’s head and Ray just accepted that he had a jacket for a hat. Gee folded their arms over their chest. “That doesn’t make it any better, Ray Toro.”

 

“I tried.” Ray shrugged, and adjusted his jacket hat. “You can’t blame me for that.”

 

* * *

 

The party was great, and there was alcohol because Brendon knew how homecoming parties worked, and Gee spent the night in a blanket pile with Frank and Ray. They woke up Sunday morning because Frank was swearing loudly and accidentally kicking them in the shin as he tried to untangle himself from both the blankets and his friends. Gee pushed his hair away from his face and sat up on his elbows to stare blearily at Frank. Ray made a noise of protest as Frank’s elbow hit him in the shoulder. “Frank, what the fuck are you doing, go back to sleep.”

 

“Church, man, I’ve gotta go to church or my mom’ll kill me.” Frank said, aggressively shaking his leg to try and get a beach-print blanket off of him. Ray reached over and removed it with his hand, because Ray had his life in order. Frank pet Ray’s head. “Thanks man. But I need to go. Someone has to drive me, because there’s no fucking way I’m walking over there.”

 

“Wait, to your house or to the church?” Gee said, their voice coming out uneven and making their head hurt. Brendon Urie sponsored homecoming parties were fun at night, but not so much the next morning. Gee squeezed their eyes shut. “Where’s Mikey?”

 

“Gee, no offense, but your brother is not important right now. My life is in danger because I’m going to be late to mass and my mom is going to kill me for that, and then she’s going to kill me again because I’m in yesterday’s clothes and I smell like sweat and beer and Brendon’s blankets.” Frank said. He was mostly out of the blanket and friend pile by then, except his leg was under Gee’s, and Gee did not feel like moving because they were comfortable and they just wanted to go back the fuck to sleep. 

 

Ray nudged Gee in the back. “He’s serious, Gee. You know how Ms. Iero gets about religion and shit. Do you really want Frank to die?”

 

“No.” Gee sighed and lifted their legs so that Frank could actually stand up. Frank did, and then started looking around frantically. Ray pressed his hand to his face. “What now?”

 

“Where the fuck are my pants.” Frank said, like he couldn’t believe he had been without pants this whole time. Gee leaned their head back, and could see out into Brendon’s backyard, where a pair of ripped jeans were sitting in a sad, damp pile beside the pool. “I think I found them. They look wet, though.”

 

“Fuck me in the  _ ass _ , I’m so dead.” Frank said, and ran outside, not even closing the sliding glass door behind him. Ray made a humming noise. “It’s stuff like that that made it obvious he was gay, even before he told me. Straight people do not say fuck me in the ass.”

 

“True.” Gee said as Frank picked up his pants and looked them over, trying to figure out why they were damp and beside the pool. Gee was pretty sure it was because Frank had stripped them off before jumping into the pool, but that had been pretty late last night so they couldn’t be too sure. “So, are you driving him or am I?”

 

“Who ever doesn’t donate their pants has to drive Frank to church, and my legs are too long for him.” Ray said. Gee turned over and flicked Ray off, who only offered Gee an innocent smile in return. “What? I’m being logical. Unless you really want to drive with no pants on, and explain to Frank’s mom why you’re driving her son around in your underwear.”

 

“We could always steal Brendon’s pants.” Gee suggested, but Ray shook his head. “Nope. Brendon has nice, tight pants that come from designer stores. Frank’s idea of a designer store is Target, and Frank also rips most of his pants to shreds.”

 

“Mine are in one piece, though.”

 

“Yeah, but they look like something Frank would wear.” Ray said. “Take them off, Gee, and donate to a good cause. I’ll get you a second pair on my way back from dropping Frank off.”

 

“Fine, I'll give Frank my pants.” Gee said, and reached down to start taking them off. Of course, Frank came back in then, with his damp pants over his shoulder and a defeated frown on his face. His hair was a little wet as well, Gee noticed, and so they assumed that it was raining outside. Of course. Gee felt bad for Frank, because Frank was probably about to get driven to his death in someone else's pants. Frank might not die, but he would definitely get grounded for an extended period of time, and Gee knew that Frank hated getting grounded. Frank hated being forced to be in one place for a long time if it was against his will. 

 

Frank was the one Gee texted if they ever wanted to skip class to go smoke or check out the comic shop a few blocks from the high school to see if there was anything new and interesting. Frank was always willing to skip class, at least with Gee. Gee didn't know who else Frank skipped with, because no one else has ever joined them on their hooligan adventures to the comic shop. 

 

“Gee, why are you taking off your pants?” Frank asked, dropping his own to the ground and shaking his hair out. Gee finished taking their pants off and handed them towards Frank before answering. “You need pants, and Ray promised to get me a new pair after he dropped you off.”

 

“I can’t wear your pants!” Frank blurted out. Ray sat up and reached outside the blanket pile to grab his shoes. “You can’t go to mass without pants, Frank. Do you really want to risk dying twice?”

 

“No, but, Ray.” Frank said, sounding desperate. “Those are Gee’s pants. I can’t wear Gee’s pants.”

 

“I’m bringing them a new pair, it’s fine.” Ray waved Frank off as he tied his shoes. “Besides, it’s the morning after a Brendon party. No one’s going to find it weird that Gee doesn’t have any pants on. Chances are, they’re not the only one with missing clothes.”

 

“I’m also not planning on leaving the blanket pile unless I need to piss.” Gee added, and waved their pants in front of Frank again. Frank stared at the pants, and then at Ray, who was tying his other shoe and blatantly ignoring Frank. Frank reached out and grabbed the pants, tugging them on. “Thanks, Gee. And thanks, Ray, for driving me. If you don’t drive like a grandma we might actually get there on time.”

 

Ray looked up at that, his hair bouncing wildly. “Hey, I resent that.”

 

“You drive like a grandmother, Ray, accept the facts.” Gee said, pulling at the blankets Ray was sitting on now that they were half naked and aware of how well air conditioned Brendon’s living room was. Ray got up and they pulled the blankets tightly around them so that only their head was visible. Frank stared at them, and when he realised that Gee was watching him, flushed and raised an eyebrow. “Cold, Gee?”

 

“I’m going you a favour, go eat a sock.” Gee said and turned onto their side. Frank laughed. “You’re adorable.”

 

“Fuck you.” Gee said. They didn’t really mean it. Frank knew.

 

“Alright, Frank, you ready to go?” Ray asked. Frank nodded. Frank had been able to find his shoes, which weren’t soggy because he had left them at the front door, and he followed Ray out after the two of them had said goodbye to Gee. Ray promised Gee that he’d be back with new pants, and that he’d text unless his phone died in the next thirty minutes. Gee gave him a thumbs up and then curled back into the blanket pile, closing their eyes and enjoying the warmth. 

 

They didn’t get back to sleep before they felt someone standing over them, and they opened their eyes to see Brendon standing above them. Brendon was shirtless and Gee was not at all surprised. Brendon was the type of guy to go shirtless as soon as he thought he could, because he had the body to walk around half naked without getting called out on it. Gee wasn’t too jealous, because even though Brendon could get people to date him, he couldn’t get them to stick around for long. Gee supposed it was because he was (not so secretly) in love with Dallon, who was semi in the closet and completely clueless. It was a bit of a trainwreck to watch the two of them, but it was still entertaining and the closest thing to drama that the marching band had to work with. 

 

Well, the band now had Lindsey’s disappearance to make gossip about, but Gee didn’t want to think about that. Instead, they focused on Brendon. “Do I need to leave?”

 

“Nah, my parents are at some rich people thing in Vegas and the won’t be back until Tuesday.” Brendon shrugged. “I was just gonna ask if you wanted breakfast. Me and Dallon are making pancakes and fake bacon, because Pete’s trying to be vegetarian again and he insisted on keeping breakfast meat-free.”

 

“Um, I’ll have coffee.” Gee said, not getting out of their blanket pile. “Also, Frank has my pants.”

 

“Really?” Brendon sounded more surprised than he should have. Gee and Frank and the rest of the marching band traded clothes all the time. It was just a thing they all did. Brendon, however, was grinning like he had just gotten a genuine kiss from Dallon or something. “When did this happen? I want details?”

 

“He left his pants outside and they got wet, so he borrowed mine so he could go to mass and not get killed by his mom.” Gee said. They had no idea why Brendon was interested in Frank’s life. Maybe Brendon had given up on Dallon? Gee didn’t believe that for a moment. If anything, Brendon was considering Frank for his next attempt at getting over Dallon, which would be interesting because Gee was pretty sure that Frank was a complete virgin and Brendon was anything but.

 

Brendon’s face fell. “Oh. That’s it?”

 

“Yeah.” Gee said. “What did you think happened?”

 

“Nothing, I was just expecting some grand drunken hook-up.” Brendon shrugged. “I’m still hoping that one of these things will result in an awkward one-night stand. That would be fucking hilarious.”

 

“I guess.” Gee said. They couldn’t imagine hooking up with anyone. It just seemed impossible, given how awkward they were.

 

“Anyway, everyone who’s conscious is in the kitchen in various states of undress, so you’ll fit right in. Coffee’ll be ready soon, and feel free to get some pancakes. Dallon’s pancakes are the shit.” Brendon said, and Gee could feel the heart eyes even though they were on the floor and Dallon wasn’t even in the room. 

 

Brendon left after that, and Gee decided that, yes, they did want coffee, and no, they didn’t care if people saw them without pants on because this was marching band and there were no boundaries in marching band. 

 

The coffee was bitter but good and Dallon’s pancakes tasted as good as Brendon implied that they would. Ray joined the group about ten minutes after Dallon decided to stop making pancakes and Brendon ran out of facon. He handed Gee a pair of pants that actually looked clean, and Gee wondered if they were Ray’s instead of their own. It didn’t matter, because they had pants now and that meant that their legs would no longer be cold and covered in goosebumps. They put the pants on and thanked Ray, then continued to sip at their coffee until Mikey and Pete walked in, dressed haphazardly and looking suspiciously ruffled. 

 

Gee raised the mug to their mouth and sent Mikey a condescending glare. They would be talking to Mikey once they got home. They would also be talking to Pete, because if Pete wanted to be with Gee’s little brother in any way, Pete would have to go through Gee first. Gee wasn’t the most intimidating person in the world, but they did have a lot of creepy shit in their room and they did know how to do the perfect death glare. They also had two (three, if Lindsey was going to still count) friends who considered Mikey to be a younger brother as well, and who were willing to gang up on anyone who hurt him.

 

Mikey gave Gee a  _ I fucking dare you to start something right now _ eyebrow raise in response, and Gee knew that their message had gotten across and that Mikey was serious about whatever was going on between him and Pete. Mikey never got defensive unless he really cared about something, or someone. 

 

“So.” Brendon said once all the food was gone and everyone was just sitting around and sipping on their respective drinks. “I love every single one of you, but at some point you need to go home. Also, Dallon’s making me go to Mormon church so that his parents will think I’m a good person so everyone needs to get out of here before noon. Me and Dallon go off to find Jesus at noon.”

 

Gee was pretty sure that Dallon hadn’t forced Brendon to go to Mormon church, and that Brendon was going just to be around Dallon. Those two were interesting. Gee wondered how long it would take Dallon to realise that Brendon was head over heels for him. It wasn't as though Brendon was trying to hide it. 

 

Regardless, Gee had to leave, and they had to take Mikey home with them, which wasn’t a problem because it gave them an excuse to talk to Mikey about Pete. They waited until they were actually out on the road, because they needed a few minutes to get their thoughts in order and decide how protective they would be. This was their younger brother, and Pete was his first real anything. Sure, there had been a few girls in elementary school, but that was elementary school dating and it was even less real that middle school dating. 

 

“So, you and Pete.” Gee started. Mikey side-eyed them from the passenger seat. “Yeah? What about us?”

 

“Are you two…?” Gee didn’t want to put words in Mikey’s mouth, so they just waved a hand around, hoping that Mikey would fill in the blanks. Mikey and Gee understood each other super well, but Mikey had been keeping this from Gee for a while, so Gee didn’t know how forthcoming he would be about any information. They didn’t want to make a big deal of it; they just wanted to know what their brother was doing.

 

“We’re dating, yeah.” Mikey said. “It’s cool, Gee. You don’t need to interrogate him or anything. He’s not a bad person.”

 

“I never said he was.” 

 

“Yeah, but you keep glaring at him like you’re waiting for something to happen.” Mikey said. He wasn’t wrong about the glaring, but that had been because Gee didn’t know exactly what Pete and Mikey were doing when they weren’t watching. They told Mikey this, and he just shrugged. Gee frowned. They didn’t want Mikey to be mad at them, they just wanted him to be open about his thing with Pete. “So, don’t go into detail, but… how much of a dating relationship are you two? Like, what have you done with him?”

 

“Do you really want to know?” Mikey asked. Gee considered it for a moment, and then nodded. Mikey sat up in his seat and twirled his phone around in his hand. “Well, I’m not a virgin but we haven’t done full on sex.”

 

“Oh.” Gee said, because of course their younger brother was going to get to have good sex before they did. “Um.”

 

Mikey let out a snort. “So insightful. And they say  _ I’m _ the quiet one.”

 

“Shut up, I wasn’t expecting you to have actually gotten laid.” Gee said. “You’re fourteen.”

 

“Yeah.” Mikey said. “And?”

 

“And, if you do actual sex, please use a condom.” Gee said. “I don’t know exactly what can go wrong because sex ed sucks ass, but I’m pretty sure you can die if you have sex without a condom. I’ll google it if you want me to?”

 

“I’m good, thanks.” Mikey looked a little uncomfortable, but Gee was also looking at him from the corner of their eye because they were driving and trying not to run into anything. They weren’t sure what else to say about Pete, because most of what they wanted to ask had to be asked  _ to _ Pete and not about him. Gee wasn’t sure how to give the “don’t hurt my brother” speech, because they had never done it before. None of Mikey’s elementary school girlfriends were anything serious. Gee was pretty sure that Mikey hadn’t even kissed his girlfriends, which was an elementary school Mikey thing to do. Elementary school Mikey had still believed that girls had cooties and that the cooties could be spread by kissing. Elementary school Mikey had feared for Gee’s life every time they hung out around Lindsey, because Lindsey was a girl and girls were dangerous.

 

Gee thought that elementary school Mikey was pretty spot on with that. Girls were dangerous. Girls were smart and pretty and sharp, in ways that boys could never understand. Gee liked themselves a bit better when they felt more feminine, because then they could put on makeup and heels and hide their insecurities behind winged eyeliner and a pretty dress. Girls were warriors, in a way, but they weren’t cruel. They were vengeful, sure, but they rarely attacked without a reason, and they were loyal to other girls. There was a bond amongst women and girls that Gee felt like they were missing out on. They had felt it, kind of, when Lindsey had been beside them, because Lindsey was like three girls combined, she was so incredible, but she was gone and Gee was alone and not sure how to manage it.

 

They were still in their thoughts when they parked the car in the driveway and followed Mikey down to the basement. They could feel something shifting in their mind, some fact coming to light that should have been obvious before, but just wasn’t. 

 

They laid down on their bed once they had changed into pajamas and wiped off their makeup, and they stared up at the ceiling until their thoughts made sense. It took a while, and they thought a lot about Lindsey and why her leaving hurt them so much, but when Gee figured it out, their eyes flew open and they grabbed for their phone. They had a call to make, but their phone was dead. Gee plugged their phone in and watched it, their leg twitching, shaking against the mattress as they waited for their phone to come back online. “Oh, fuck, come on this is important. Fuck fuck fuck. Fuck you, Apple, and your shitty products with no battery life.”

 

Gee’s lock screen came up, and they unlocked immediately, going straight to their contacts and dialling. 

 

“Hey Gee.” Ray’s voice said. Gee thanked whoever was listening that Ray actually picked up. They bit their lower lip, reopening a cut so that it started to bleed. “Ray. I have a slight problem. I have a crush on Lindsey.”

 

* * *

 

Monday felt too quiet, and not just because everyone was recovering from homecoming. Monday was quiet, and Frank didn’t get put in a locker, and no one in the band came to practice covered in cuts and bruises. Gee didn’t see any slurs painted anywhere, and they were extremely suspicious. After practice, they were hanging out on the top of the bleachers with Mikey, Frank, and Ray, trying to figure out what the fuck was happening.

 

Frank lit a cigarette. “People just don’t stop being assholes. Someone must have done something.”

 

“Maybe it was Lindsey?” Gee suggested. Mikey rolled his eyes and tried to steal a cigarette from Frank. Frank moved his crumpled pack to the pocket on the far side of Mikey. Ray just sat and watched, a cigarette between his lips as well. He took it out and breathed smoke as he talked. “It’s a possibility, but don’t get your hopes up, Gee.”

 

Ray and Mikey knew. Gee hadn’t told Frank about their crush on Lindsey yet, because Frank had gotten more and more pissed off at Lindsey the longer she was on the cheerleading squad. At this point, Gee was afraid to tell Frank that they liked Lindsey, because they were afraid how he would react.

 

“There’s no way she did it.” Frank said. “She’s not an idiot; she wouldn’t out herself like that.”

 

“Why would she have to out herself to get those dicks to stop harassing us?” Mikey asked. He was hunched over his phone and texting rapidly. Gee was pretty sure he was texting Pete. Gee needed to have a talk with Pete, soon. When they figured out why they weren’t getting punched for wearing makeup anymore. 

 

Frank tucked the ends of his hair behind his ear. “Cause. Everyone knows that band kids are gay. And if you’re friends with a band kid, you’re obviously gay too. Either that or the football guys assume she’s only defending the gays because she’s a gay too, and there’s no way Lindsey could pretend to be straight. She wouldn’t risk it.”

 

“So if it’s no Lindsey, then who?” Ray asked, but it wasn’t a question that needed an immediate answer. It was one of those fake deep rhetorical questions that teachers always asked, except teachers expected their kids to have an answer, even though there wasn’t one, and Ray knew better than to expect Gee or Frank or Mikey to know who had stopped the violence. The four knew that it wasn’t one of the assistant principals, because Schechter had tried doing the diplomatic thing at the beginning of the year and the rest of the faculty had claimed that nothing was wrong. They refused to see a connection between the graffiti (which they said wasn’t a hate crime because it wasn’t violence) and people getting beaten up or thrown into lockers (which they said wasn’t a hate crime because there was no direct connection between the “hazing” and the victim’s sexual orientation). 

 

It was bullshit, and the entire band knew it. Until today, though, they had just resigned themselves to dealing with it and hoping that next year’s athletes wouldn’t be complete assholes. 

 

“Maybe there’s a secret marching band vigilante?” Gee offered. Mikey raised an eyebrow. “Wait, Gee. Are you being serious about that?”

 

“I mean, at this point anything’s possible.” Gee shrugged their shoulders. Mikey sat up and locked his phone. He looked around at the other three through his glasses, which had slid down to the end of his nose, and apparently he was too lazy to push them back up. Mikey narrowed his eyes. “Okay, so, this doesn’t go past the four of us, but if any of the three of you are a secret gay vigilante, speak the fuck up.”

 

“Hey, that sounds like something the gay vigilante would say to keep people from revealing his identity.” Frank said, grinning and leaning towards Mikey. “What if you’re the vigilante, Mikeyway? It would make sense. Gee’s your older sibling and the two of you are super close.”

 

“Gee’s your friend.” Mikey said. “And Ray’s. And they talk about comic books and superheroes enough, who’s to say they didn’t just decide to become one?”

 

“I’m not the vigilante.” Gee said. “Besides, do I look like I could take on either the football or the basketball team?”

 

Frank leaned back against the wall behind the bleachers and blew smoke up into the air. “You never know. Adrenaline and being pissed off can make you capable of some crazy shit.”

 

“This is going to be worse than the whole Ted Cruz is the Zodiac Killer thing.” Ray shook his head. Frank opened his mouth and Ray stared him down. “And before you start shit, no, I’m not the secret gay vigilante either. They might not be in this group, of they might not even be real.”

 

“The Zodiac Killer was real and he was Ted Cruz and I will send you evidence until you believe me.” Frank said, pointing his cigarette at Ray. Mikey made a face at Gee, and Gee was about to start a silent conversation with their brother about how dumb their friends were when their phone buzzed in their pocket. Gee frowned and looked down, wondering if it was their mom, asking when they’d be bringing Mikey home. It wasn’t their mom.

 

_ From: Lynz _

_ hey, g i know i haven’t been super great for a while but i can explain everything. tomorrow morning, can you meet me outside the band room before school? if you don’t want to talk to me i understand, but i miss you. you’re my best friend, and i wouldn’t ever leave you. _

 

_ sorry that was rambly and unspecific but pls just meet me tomorrow? i promise i can tell you everything. _

 

Gee stared at the two text messages, not sure how to respond. Frank leaned over and nudged their forearm with the palm of his hand. “Gee, are you okay? You look a little stunned.”

 

Gee turned their phone around and watched as three sets of eyes read over the messages, three different expressions appearing once everyone was done. Frank looked pissed, Mikey looked unimpressed, and Ray looked like things were finally starting to make sense. Gee turned their phone around and set it in their lap. “So. Should I meet her or not?”

 

Frank shook his head. “She’s setting you up. She has to be. Lindsey doesn’t drop hints, she just does shit. This is probably the cheerleaders setting you up through her or something.”

 

Mikey’s frown intensified. He was obviously torn on how to respond, and he didn’t want to bring Gee’s crush up because that would just make Frank more adamant on Gee ignoring Lindsey. Mikey chewed on his lower lip for a moment before answering. “If you meet her tomorrow, I’m coming with you. I still look cute and innocent; if it’s a trap, whoever set it probably won’t go through with it if the kid brother’s there watching everything.”

 

“I still think you should just tell her to fuck off and pick a damn side.” Frank said. Ray gave him a significant look that Gee didn’t know the meaning behind. Gee turned to Ray. “What do you think?”

 

“Meet her, definitely.” Ray said. “I think I know what’s going on, but I don’t know the whole story, and if I’m wrong I don’t want to get your hopes up.”

  
“But I should still go?” Gee asked. Their hopes were already up. Ray nodded. “Yeah. At least hear her out.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up next: Ray's side of things, because Ray is the all-knowing mom friend. 
> 
> Also, thank you for reading, and if you enjoyed, please leave a kudo or a comment or both! I really appreciate that, and sometimes I actually remember to respond to comments (assuming doing so won't cause any spoilers)!


	3. Ray, part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ray's version of events, starting from the beginning of the year.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I decided that I'm going to just split everyone's POV up into two parts because I can. It's also because I don't like going so long without updating and I feel like I'm making everyone wait.
> 
> Anyway, this is Ray's version of the story, which will reveal more of what's actually happening. It also includes a sexually frustrated Frank Iero, if that's your thing.

Ray walked into first period band on the first day of school hoping for the best but ready for the worst. Gee had texted him early that morning, saying that they were going to be coming in with makeup and feminine clothes and everything and that they were nervous as shit. Ray had promised to get there first, in case Gee needed moral support.

 

Gee wasn’t there yet, so Ray joined the other early members of the band and started setting out chairs in a semicircle. It was methodical, and it kept his mind off of everything else. Like, what if people reacted badly to Gee and they got hurt before they could even make it into the building? Sure, they had Mikey and Ray was pretty sure that Lindsey had spent the night at the Ways’ house, but what if that wasn’t enough? What if people ganged up on his friends and he wasn’t there to help?

 

Gee arrived three minutes before the early bell, though, looking shaky and pretty, and Ray dropped the chair he had been putting out to run over and hug them. Gee let out a yelp as Ray grabbed them and actually picked them up a little. He put them down and let go, stepping back and smiling at them. “You look great.”

 

“Thanks. Lindsey helped.” Gee said. They bit at the edge of their fingernail. “Shit, Ray, I'm nervous about this.”

 

“I know, but you're not doing this alone. I'll skip class and be your bodyguard if you want me to.” Ray offered. He didn't mention that half the band would volunteer to defend Gee if that was what they wanted, because that was just something the band _did._ They were all family, and the good kind of family where everyone got along and were supportive of everyone else's life choices.

 

Gee shook their head. “No thanks, I need to do this on my own. I mean, I want your support and shit but if I'm going to come out and be comfortable presenting myself how I want, then I need to do it without anyone having my back. I need to do it for myself, you know?”

 

“Kind of.” Ray said. He wasn't sure if Gee was just being stubborn or not because sometimes they did stupid shit because they refused to back down. Ray didn't want this to be one of those times, because Gee could get hurt. The world was improving, but there were still a lot of people who didn't like trans or gay people.

 

Gee headed towards the instrument room to drop off their bag and Ray followed. They grabbed their horn from its usual shelf and set their bag on the floor. “Thanks for the offer, though. If shit hits the fan I'll text you and we can go make a band huddle under the bleachers or something.”

 

“Definitely.” Ray nodded. “And if you need me to kick someone's ass for being transphobic you can text me that too.”

 

“Let's hope it doesn't come to that.” Gee said. Ray nodded. He didn't want anything bad to happen to Gee, but he knew that there were a lot of kids at this school who were still close-minded assholes, and a lot of them were pretty popular. Neither Gee nor Ray cares much for their reputation in high school as a whole, but being branded as especially freaky was equivalent of getting a target painted on your back. There was nothing wrong with Gee wearing a skirt if that's what they wanted to do, but not everyone thought the same way Ray did.

 

Band class went by fine. No one in band had a problem with Gee dressing the way they did, or asking to be referred to with neutral pronouns. Of course, this was the class for marching band kids, so everyone already knew that Gee was genderfluid. It didn't matter, because at the end of the class Gee was looking relaxed and confident. Ray figured that the positive response from the band was the reason for that.

 

Ray knew he wouldn't see Gee until lunch, but Christa and Gee had third period together so he sent her a quick text to look out for Gee and make sure they were doing okay. She texted back saying she would, and Ray finally relaxed. Gee would be fine. There were assholes in this school, but they weren't going to do anything to Gee. Insults might be thrown, but they wouldn't be any different from the insults that the members of the band got called on a daily basis. Gee could handle it. Ray needed to stop being such a mom.

 

* * *

 

Christa texted Ray during second period to say that Gee was fine. A little nervous, but otherwise fine. Ray figured that some ass had called them names, which pissed him off because Gee deserved better, but unless Gee mentioned it themselves, Ray wasn't going to bring it up.

 

Ray made it to fifth period lunch without texting Gee to ask how they were doing. He did text Gee a picture of a cat he saw on tumblr, and Gee responded with a poodle and the caption _is this u_ , so Ray figured that Gee wasn't having any problems.

 

He was in line for tacos when he felt his phone buzz in his pocket. He picked it up to check because there were a lot of people between him and the front of the line, and his face fell when he saw the text. It was Gee. They were hiding out in the student parking lot, and they wanted to know if Ray had a first aid kit because their nose was bleeding a lot. Ray had a feeling that it wasn't just a simple nosebleed. Gee would just go to the nurse or steal some tissues from a teacher if they were just having a random nosebleed. Ray texted them back, saying he'd be out there soon, and then left the taco line. Fuck tacos, Ray’s friend was hurt. Ray could eat later, or, if Gee was up to it, the two of them could swing by the Subway and get actual food for once.

 

Ray decided that Subway and being a good friend were better than school tacos every day.

 

The cafeteria was right by the band room, which made skipping class easy because the band room had a door that lead straight to the student parking lot. Ray slunk through the band room, hoping that the freshmen concert band wouldn't take notice of him. Most band kids didn't care enough to make a big deal about someone skipping class, but every once in awhile there was an idiot freshman who thought that attendance actually mattered. It did, somewhat, but only when you were a senior and trying to exempt exams. Ray wasn't a senior; he could skip class as much as he wanted.

 

He checked Gee's car first, but they weren't there so he went to his own car, parked in the back of the lot because Ray didn't want to deal with the seniors, who stood around in clumps for hours after school ended and made it impossible to leave. Ray was in marching band, and when it became his turn to get food, he didn't want to have to run over a bunch of seniors just to get out of the school.

 

Gee was sitting on the gravel beside Ray's car, smoking a cigarette and looking like they had just been in a fight. They weren't alone; Frank was beside them, holding his nose in one hand and a lit cigarette in the other. Frank’s nose was dripping blood between his fingers, and his knuckles were torn and bloody as well. Gee was just leaning their head back so that the blood from their nose didn't get everywhere. They took their cigarette out of their mouth and blew smoke up in the air as Ray sat down beside them. “So, I'm assuming this isn't a bloody nose.”

 

“The other guy punched first.” Frank spat out, sounding nasally because of his nose. He smirked around the blood. “I punched harder, though, and I totally kicked his ass.”

 

“Frank, he threw you against the pavement and kicked you in the stomach.” Gee said. They still had their head tilted back but they managed to look like a condescending parent anyway. Ray was proud of them. They raised their free hand to their face and touched their nose. “It would have gotten a lot worse if one of the custodians hadn't walked past. The guys who were beating us up ran as soon as they saw him.”

 

“I could have kicked their asses, alright?” Frank said. Ray didn't doubt him. Frank was tiny, but he was aggressive. Ray reached out and wrapped his fingers around Frank's wrist, pulling his hand away from his face gently. “I don't think it's broken. I mean, it might be. I'm not actually a doctor. But it just looks really bad because of all the blood.”

 

“That's from the concrete.” Frank said. “Me and Gee were gonna go look at comics and these guys came out of nowhere and started hitting them. I wasn't going to just stand back and watch, you know?”

 

“Dude, I'm not mad at you.” Ray said. He wondered if he should call his mom. She was a nurse; she knew how to deal with injuries and shit. Frank’s mom was also a nurse, but she worked nights and was probably asleep. Ray also knew that Frank tried to keep his mom from knowing about all the fights he got into at school, because he knew she'd ground him for life if she found out that he was fighting people twice his size on an almost weekly basis.

 

Gee took a drag from their cigarette. “So do you have a first aid kit or not, Ray?”

 

“Yeah, I have one in my backseat, hold on.” Ray stopped poking at Frank's nose so that he could unlock his car and get the first aid kit out of the floor of the backseat. His mom made him carry it around, and at first he had thought that it was a really dumb thing to have in a car, but he had changed his mind. Now no one needed to know that Frank and Gee were bloody messes. Of course, if this became a regular thing (Ray feared that it would), people would start catching on. Ray might start getting bloody noses, because if someone punched any of his friends in front of him, Ray would punch back. He didn't appreciate assholes who thought violence was the answer to anything that made them uncomfortable.

 

Frank insisted that his nose was fine, but Ray put a splint thing on it anyway because he had one and he didn't want Frank to be running around with a broken nose. Frank would do that, and he would say he was fine and not in any kind of pain at all and then he'd have to lay down in the middle of marching band practice so that he didn't throw up from the pain.

 

Ray knew how Frank's mind worked. He'd known Frank for long enough. Frank was getting his fucking nose splinted and he was going to like it.

 

* * *

 

Frank reopened his Facebook and made a long coming out post that night, and the next day he got shoved into his locker and a bunch of homophobic insults got scribbled on it in sharpie. Ray let him out and Frank stumbled out looking smug. “Now they'll leave Gee alone.”

 

Ray shook his head. Frank was an idiot.

 

The football team (Ray had figured them out easily enough when they cornered him on his way to lunch and dragged him into the nearest bathroom to throw him around and give him a black eye) didn't leave Gee alone, despite Frank's efforts. Gee showed up to marching band practice with a busted lip, and they weren't the only one. Brendon had seen Frank's coming out post and had made one of his own the next morning, saying that he was bisexual. Most people had figured that out already, but by making it public knowledge, Brendon had also made himself a victim.

 

Band practice that Tuesday was tense. It was only the second day of school, but Ray could tell that most people were hoping for the year to be over soon.

 

Ray left band practice and headed to his car with Gee and Mikey, because Gee had parked near Ray that day in hopes of avoiding an attack outside of school. When the three of them got to Gee's car, Ray saw that all of Gee's tires had been slashed, and the words “Princess Pervert” had been scratched into the side of the car as well. Gee stopped in their tracks and Mikey spat out a well placed “fuck.” Gee stared at their car, looking sad and like a hot mess. (The car, not Gee). Mikey walked over and rubbed at the words to see if they would come off. They didn't. Mikey turned to Ray. “Can you give us a ride home?”

 

“Yeah.” Ray said. “Yeah, come on, let's get out of here.”

 

“Gee, come on.” Mikey grabbed their older sibling’s hand and pulled them away from the car. Gee was still staring at the car, even as Mikey tugged him towards where Ray was parked. “I'll tell mom what happened when we get home. I think we can sue the school or something for this.”

 

“I don't want to sue the school.” Gee said softly. They slipped into the backseat of the car with Mikey and buried their head in his bony shoulder. Ray wished he could be back there and comforting Gee too, but someone had to drive the car. Gee's words were muffled by Mikey's shoulder, but Ray could still hear them. “I just want this to be over.”

 

“It will be, Gee.” Ray said, even though he had no idea how he was supposed to go through on that plan. He'd figure something out. “Those dicks won't get away with this, I promise.”

 

He meant it. After he dropped Gee and Mikey off at their house, he headed to Lindsey's apartment complex. If anyone was going to know how to fix this, it would be her. Lindsey was badass, fearless, and unlike Frank, she wasn't falling in love with Gee. She might like them a little, enough to tell Ray that she's kiss them if they ever asked her to, but she wasn't into Gee the way Frank was. Any romantic feelings she may or may not have had for Gee wouldn't influence her decisions. Ray knew she'd have an answer.

 

If she didn't, she'd be able to help Ray come up with one, because Lindsey was Gee's best friend (aside from him) and she'd do anything to help them out.

 

Ray knocked on Lindsey's door and she opened it immediately. She was barefoot, and Ray took his shoes off as well when he entered. He didn't know what kind of rules Lindsey had, just that her mom wasn't always around and that there had never been a dad in the picture, so Lindsey was mostly on her own and had been for a while.

 

The two of them sat down on opposite ends of the couch, which was fake leather and crackled whenever someone moved. Ray thought it was a pretty cool couch. He wasn't too focused on the couch then, though. He was thinking about Gee. “Those football guys slashed Gee's tires. We need to do something.”

 

“Seriously?” Lindsey said. “Fucking assholes. We should slash their tires.”

 

Ray shook his head. “Too obvious. We need to do something that wrecks their lives so thoroughly that they never want to bother Gee or anyone else again, and we need to do it in a way that is memorable and distinctly directed back to us. They need to know who did it, and _why_ we did it.”

 

“You've been thinking about this.” Lindsey said. It wasn't a question, but Ray nodded anyway. “Yeah. The problem is, I don't know what we as a band could do.”

 

“Why does it have to be a band wide thing? Why can't it just be one or two people?”

 

“Because we need to out number them.” Ray said. “Right now, they're going after anyone who fights back. They attacked Frank because he defended Gee and then came out as gay, and I won't be surprised if Brendon's next because he came out as bi. The only way we can get them to stop is if we go after them as a group.”

 

“What if we got other people involved?” Lindsey asked. “Like, non-band people. I think Brendon has friends in drama, and Gee and I know most of the art kids. You've got a cheerleader for a girlfriend, surely she can make friends who'll help us out, right?”

 

“Good idea.” Ray said. “We still don't have a plan of attack, though.”

 

Lindsey frowned. “Give me some time to think about it, and then I'll get back to you. I'm not always good at thinking shit up on the spot, despite what you may have heard.”

 

* * *

 

Lindsey and Ray texted ideas back and forth at each other for the next three days. More and more band members showed up to practice looking like _Fight Club_ extras. Gee looked more and more guilty about everything. Frank got thrown into a locker again and spat in the running back’s face. The running back was almost seven feet tall and could probably bench press Frank with one hand. Frank came to school on Friday with half his face swollen and his mother nervously watching him enter the school from her car.

 

Frank didn't even seem bothered by it. If anything, he was just getting more and more pissed off about everything, and Ray decided to stage an intervention by promising video games after mass and then not bringing out any video games.

 

Sunday morning, Ray went to mass with his parents and his brothers and sat in the back with Frank. Frank agreed to the video game afternoon, on the condition that Ray let him go home and get out of his church clothes first. Ray didn't care what Frank wore to Ray's house, so long as he showed up.

 

After mass, while Ray was waiting for Frank to show up, he got a text from Lindsey that didn't make a lot of sense.

 

_from lindsey: hey i need to talk to ur girlfriend whats her number_

 

Ray wasn't sure what to do in response to that. He couldn't think of a good reason for Lindsey to suddenly ask for Christa’s number. Ray knew better than to ask Lindsey; if Lindsey had wanted to give a reason, she would have given it already. Ray set his phone down and grabbed some of his games to make it look like he was planning to play them with Frank. So he couldn't think of a reason why Lindsey would need Christa’s phone. So what? He trusted Christa, and he trusted Lindsey not to do anything rude. The only thing stopping him from giving Lindsey Christa’s number was his own paranoia. Ray was pretty sure he didn't have anything to actually be paranoid about.

 

_to lindsey: yeah sure._

 

He typed in Christa’s number and then texted her to let her know that Lindsey might be texting her soon about something. Ray also told Christa that he didn't know _what_ Lindsey was going to ask her, but it was probably legal. Hopefully it was legal. Ray didn't know how Christa felt about vaguely illegal activities. He hadn't exactly had the time to bring them up with her.

 

“Ray! Frank's here!” One of Ray's brothers yelled, and then Ray heard the sound of Frank running up the stairs. A few seconds later, and Frank was launching himself at Ray's bed, letting out an excited yell. Ray smiled to himself. Frank had no idea that this was an intervention, not a video game marathon. Frank lifted his head from the mattress, his long mohawk hair covering most of his face. What Ray could see of his face was covered in bruises, and there was a healing split on his lip. Frank grinned. “So what's first?”

 

“We're not playing video games.” Ray said. Frank flipped over onto his back and pouted up at Ray. “What? Then why the fuck did you promise me video games, dude?”

 

“Because I know how to get you to come over to my house.” Ray said. Frank narrowed his eyes. “I didn't do anything, though. Not yet, at least.”

 

“Dude, you're acting like someone killed all your dogs and you've gotta get revenge immediately.” Ray said. “I get that you like Gee, and you hate seeing them get hurt, but you need to watch out for yourself. You're not much help if you're a bloody mess stuffed in the back of a locker.”

 

“No one else is doing anything.” Frank folded his arms over his chest. It looked really dumb because he was laying down and his feet were hanging over the edge of Ray's bed, socked toes wiggling impatiently.

 

Ray raised an eyebrow. “Yes, because sticking by Gee's side and coming out so that they aren't alone isn't doing something.”

 

“It's not stopping those dicks from hurting Gee!” Frank threw his arms up in the air and almost hit Ray in the face. “All we're doing is giving them more people to hit! We need to fight back, or smash their fancy ass cars or something!”

 

“We are not smashing any headlights.”

 

“We could.” Frank countered, pointing his finger towards Ray. Ray pushed Frank's hand away. “But we're not. Because that's illegal and dangerous and we could get sued.”

 

“You stole like, fifty batteries once, Ray. Shut the fuck up about illegal shit.”

 

“Okay, but batteries are two dollars each. Maybe. Cars are expensive, and did you not hear me when I said you could get sued?” Ray said, making sure to emphasise the last part. Frank flipped him off from where he was lying on the bed. “Fine. No slashing tires. But we can't just let this shit happen. It was bad enough when they were just calling us names, now they're going after Gee. And Brendon. But mostly Gee, and that's not fucking fair because Gee hasn't don't anything wrong in their entire life.”

 

“Your crush is showing.” Ray said.

 

“Your _dick_ is showing.” Frank said, because he was an actual nine year old pretending to be a junior in high school. Ray rolled his eyes. “That's great, Frank.”

 

“Hey, I'm just looking out for you, you know?” Frank said, rolling over towards Ray. “It's a friend thing.”

 

“I know.” Ray said. He reached down and ruffled Frank's hair. Frank grabbed Ray's hand and pushed himself away. He sat up and aggressively ran his fingers through his hair to fix it. He leaned against the wall and shoved his hands between his legs. “So, since you've already cornered me and made me think about the consequences to my actions, I'm gonna update you on shit. Like how I've never been more sexually frustrated in my life and apparently I'm getting less gay every time I see Gee in a skirt.”

 

“That sounds unfortunate.” Ray said.

 

Frank threw his hands in the air again, gesturing in frustration like Ray wasn't getting the point. “Gee's so pretty, what the fuck?! It's like they sorted out their gender and then suddenly, bam! Sexual frustration for Frank. I can't stop thinking about them and I don't know if I have some kind of weird skirt kink or if I'm just really, _really_ into Gee.”

 

“It could be both.” Ray suggested. He never knew what to do when Frank started going on about his infatuation with Gee. Ray's advice was always just for Frank to tell Gee that he had a crush on them. Gee would understand. Hell, Gee might even like Frank back, or at least be willing to date him. Frank ignored Ray's advice every time, though, which was stupid because Ray was probably the only teenager in the entire school who gave good advice on a regular basis.

 

“Okay, sure, but what do I _do_ about it?” Frank said. “Ray, I think I'm going to die or go blind from mastubrating too much. I need help.”

 

“Tell Gee.” Ray said, not thinking about Frank mastubrating because that was just all kinds of weird. Band kid friendships were always closer than most friendships, but it was still a bit too much for Ray to know all the details of Frank's (lack of a) sex life. Frank glared up at Ray. “No fucking way. I’m not making things awkward between us, not right now. Gee’s got enough stress going on in their life; they don’t need to feel weird about me crushing on them and kissing them and everything. If I tell them, they’re going to think I’m such a fucking creep! I kissed them, Ray. Multiple times!”

 

“I don’t know what you want me to tell you, Frank.” Ray said. “Gee’s a good person; regardless of whether they like you back or not--”

 

“Would you tell me if you knew that they liked me?” Frank interjected. Ray shot him a glare, because _rude_. Also because Ray knew that Gee didn’t necessarily have a crush on Frank, but they wouldn’t say no if Frank asked them out on a date. They also might not realise that Frank was asking them out on a date if he actually did, because Frank and Gee were practically dating already and did some very coupley things. Christa had actually asked Ray if Gee and Frank were a thing when she first started dating him, because she couldn’t tell. Christa was now a part of the marching band betting pool.

 

“No, because then I’d get thrown out of the betting pool and I put ten dollars in.” Ray said. Frank rolled his eyes. “I hate the betting pool. Why can’t there be one for Brendon asking Dallon out?”

 

“Because we all know that Brendon would never do that. He’s too scared of getting rejected, and he’d rather pine in silence than risk his friendship with Dallon.” Ray said. “Sounds a lot like you, actually. But you’re also an impulsive little shit, and you’ve been crushing on Gee for years, so we figured that you and Gee actually stood a chance of getting together in high school.”

 

Frank made a dismissive noise. Ray rolled his eyes. “Look, Gee likes you as a friend, and even if they don’t have a hardcore crush on you, chances are they’ll still go out with you.”

 

“But what if they don’t?” Frank asked. Ray facepalmed like it was 2008 and everyone was still in their LOL random XD phase. It wasn’t that Frank was being random, it was that Ray had to use the term “facepalm” when thinking about his action. Ray let his hair fall in front of his face because he really couldn’t deal with looking at Frank’s puppy dog face right then. Ray wondered what it would be like if he had never established himself as the almighty mom friend. He would probably get a lot less weird texts from people in band. His friends would probably find someone else to use as a mom friend and advice sounding board, which would be nice for Ray. Except, Ray liked knowing the dumb shit that his friends did.

 

“Ray. Stop looking at your hair, this is important.” Frank kicked at Ray. Ray wasn’t sure how Frank was able to kick him considering that Frank’s legs were short and Frank was on the other side of the bed. “What if I tell Gee I want to date them but then they won’t go out with me?”

 

“Then accept their rejection and don’t be a Ross Gellar about it.” Ray said. He lifted his head. “But I mean it. Gee wouldn’t reject you. I know them.”

 

“You better, because if you’re getting my hopes up over something that isn’t going to happen I am not going to be a fan of yours, Ray Toro.” Frank said. He crawled across the bed and reached under it to pull out Ray’s stash of video games. “Now are am I gonna kick your ass or do you want to keep giving me life advice that we both know I’m never going to listen to?”

 

Ray rolled his eyes and grabbed one of the games off the top of the stack. “At least you’re self-aware.”

 

* * *

 

Gee didn’t show up to school on Monday. Ray asked Mikey if they were doing okay, and Mikey shrugged. Apparently Gee was sick, but Mikey didn’t seem like he was buying it so Ray wasn’t buying it either. He texted Gee, twice, but got no answer. Ray was worried, but he wasn’t at the level of worrying where he was going to drive over to the Way’s house and start banging down doors to see if Gee was still alive.

 

The abuse and the bullying had probably gotten to them, and they needed to get away. Ray hated that they had to go through that, and he hated that other members of the band were getting hurt as well. None of them deserved that.

 

Gee wasn’t at school on Tuesday either. That was the same day that Frank got in a huge fight with two basketball guys in the parking lot and ended up with bruised ribs and a badly split lip. That was the same day that Ray saw Lindsey and Christa talking about something by Christa’s locker. Ray didn’t question it, because he was too busy worrying about Frank, who was an idiot and insisted that he was fine and he was used to not being able to breathe easily. He said it was just like getting sick, but with more blood and less snot. Ray decided that Frank really was an idiot, and he didn’t even need Gee around to act like one.

 

Lindsey was late to band practice on Wednesday, and Frank couldn't play because he couldn't breathe. Frank sat on the bleachers and watched the band, and every time Ray looked over to see how he was doing, he was frowning and messing with his saxophone strap. Gee still wasn't there. Ray still hadn't gotten a response from them, and he'd texted them at least seven times.

 

He got home from band practice to see that he had two missed calls from Christa and one from Lindsey. Nothing from Gee. Ray called Christa back first because she was his girlfriend and he loved her. “Hey Christa, what's up?”

 

“One of the girls on the squad broke her leg today.” Christa said. She sounded tired. “Now we've got to have an extra practice tomorrow morning so that we can get a new girl on the squad to replace her, because if we don't then we're short a base and half our routines won't work.”

 

“That sucks,” Ray said, sitting down on the edge of his bed. “Don't you have any JV girls you can pull in instead?”

 

“No, all the JV girls this year are underclassmen. I told Gina that allowing every junior to be on the varsity squad was a bad idea, but no, she just had to go on about inclusion and keeping things fair.” Christa sighed on the other end. Gina was a senior, and the head cheerleader, and Christa disagreed with some of the rules she made the varsity squad follow. Dividing varsity and JV by grade level instead of talent was one of them.

 

Ray tapped his fingers against his knee. “Do you know any girls who could do it? Any gymnastics friends or something?”

 

“No, the closest offer I have is Lindsey, but I don't think she'd join the squad just because of a girl.” Christa said. Ray raised an eyebrow. “Lindsey? You mean my friend Lindsey? The trombone?”

 

“Yeah,” Christa said, sounding as surprised as Ray felt. “It turns out she's super flexible, and really strong. She was asking me about Hayley--Hayley Williams, the red-haired fly girl on student council--the other day. She wanted to know if Hayley was into girls or if she should be taking her efforts elsewhere.”

 

“Weird. I never expected Lindsey to go for a cheerleader.” Ray said, and then added, “not that there's anything wrong with _being_ a cheerleader, you guys just aren't really Lindsey's type.”

 

“Mm-hmm.” Christa said, her voice teasing so that Ray would know she wasn't actually mad at him. “Maybe you should give her some tips on how to get a cheerleader’s attention, since it worked out so well for you.”

 

“Maybe I will.” Ray said. “Hey, make sure she doesn't do anything stupid, okay? I know she's my friend, but I couldn't pull off being a cheerleader and I like marching band too much to quit.”

 

“I'll keep you updated.” Christa said. Ray thanked her, and then they said their goodbyes. Ray stared at his phone for a few minutes before he called up Lindsey. If Christa's hunch was right and Lindsey was going after one of the cheerleaders, she had probably been calling Ray to ask for his advice. Ray was nothing if not helpful when his friends asked him.

 

“Ray?” Lindsey answered, sounding out of breath. “Why are you calling me?”

 

“You called me first.” Ray said. “What's up with you?”

 

“Nothing. I was just going to ask if you had heard from Gee but then I figured that you would have told me if they texted you.” Lindsey said. Her voice sounded weird, like she was moving around while she was talking to him. “I really can't talk right now. I'm in the middle of something, and it's super important and I need to get it done tonight because I'm an idiot and I didn't think this through.”

 

“Is there any way I can help?” Ray asked, and then thought about the essay and two math assignments he had already been given and wondered why teachers made junior year the hardest. It wasn't as though everyone was trying to find a college while working their asses off in school or anything.

 

“No, not with this.” Lindsey said. “Look, thanks for the offer, I really appreciate it, but I need to go. I don't have a lot of time. I'll talk to you later, okay?”

 

Before Ray could say anything in response, she hung up. Ray stared at his phone again, thinking to himself that today had been really weird. It was like something was about to happen, and Ray was witnessing all the tension build up first hand. He decided he didn't like it, and he wanted answers.

 

He would get answers later, though, because he really needed to start his math. Or at least pull it out and look at it and pretend to get started on it so that he could feel better about himself.

 

* * *

 

Something did happen on Thursday. Everyone except Gee and Lindsey were in the band room, setting it up and fucking about as usual, when the bell rang and Lindsey ran in. She went straight to Schechter’s office, not to her place in the trombone section, and Ray knew something was up.

 

He also knew something was up from how Lindsey was dressed. Lindsey didn't always dress in a skirt and heels, button downs with a vest and matching tie. Sometimes she wore jeans and a band t-shirt, or a tank top or a flannel (she was a lesbian, after all, flannels acted as signals for other lesbians to find each other), but she never wore gym clothes anywhere. Ray wasn't sure if she even had gym clothes anymore, since she and Ray (and Gee) had all gotten their gym requirement over with in freshman year.

 

She was wearing cotton shorts and a t-shirt, but that wasn't the weirdest. She was also wearing actual tennis shoes. Not Converse, like she would wear when she wasn't in heels, but off brand, scuffed up sneakers and little white ankle socks. She was sweating too, and her hair was coming out of her pigtails. Jimmy, Ray’s stand partner when they were practicing concert band music and not marching, leaned over and whispered, “so, that’s a little weird. Do you think she’s trying out for track or something?”

 

Ray had a sinking feeling about what Lindsey was about to do. “I’d go with the _or something_ option.”

 

Jimmy raised an eyebrow, but didn’t question it any further. Instead, the two boys watched as Schechter opened the door to his office and faced Lindsey with a questioning look on his face. Lindsey glanced over her shoulder, scanning over the band room like she was looking for someone in particular. Ray figured it was Gee, and he wished that Gee was there, if only to keep Lindsey from doing whatever she was about to do. He didn’t really want Gee to be at school if Gee didn’t feel safe, because that wasn’t healthy for Gee and Ray wanted the best for them. But he also didn’t want Lindsey to do something dumb like drop marching band to join the cheerleading squad.

 

Lindsey finished scanning the band room and turned back to Schechter. “I need to tell you something, but privately.”

 

“Yeah, sure, of course.” Schechter said, and the two went into his office. Of course, because of school policy, the door had to remain open, and everyone could see Lindsey talking to Schechter through the window, but she was out of earshot. That didn’t stop anyone from trying to listen in, though. Ray couldn’t hear anything, but he felt like he didn’t need to. He was pretty sure he knew what Lindsey was telling Schechter in there.

 

She came out a few minutes later and headed to her place in the trombone section. Ray tried to make eye contact with her from across the band room, but she was very focused on pulling out her music and not looking anyone in the eye. Ray did make eye contact with Mikey, who was next to Lindsey, and Mikey pushed his glasses up his nose. That meant that Mikey would try to talk to he when he got the chance to. Ray trusted Mikey to keep his word, or at least his silent glasses movement.

 

* * *

 

Lindsey was not at marching band practice. The football team didn’t have a game the next day, so Schechter took advantage of the empty field and scheduled an extra practice session on Friday. Lindsey wasn’t there on Friday either, but by then everyone had started making rumours of where she went.

 

Someone suggested that she Gee had hooked up at some point and given each other mono. It wasn’t out of the realm of possibilities, but it pissed Frank off enough that he excused himself from the huddle of marching band kids to go angrily smoke and pout under the away team’s bleachers. Ray didn’t even bother to go find him. Frank would come back eventually, because he liked marching band more than he was jealous of Lindsey. Not that Frank had any reason to be jealous of Lindsey, because she and Gee weren’t together in any non-platonic way. If they were, Lindsey sure as hell wouldn’t be chasing after another girl.

 

“So, Ray, what do you think happened to Lindsey?” Brendon asked, leaning forward with his chin in his palm. Ray couldn’t tell if Brendon was flirting or not, because Brendon was ridiculous with everyone, not just the people he found attractive.

 

“I think she joined the cheerleading squad.” Ray said. As he expected, everyone looked at him like they didn’t believe him at all. Ray continued, “she started talking to Christa about some stuff, then one of the girls on varsity ends up with a broken leg and so Christa has to find a new base. The try-outs were yesterday morning; it would explain why Lindsey was late to class and why she looked like she had just been working out. Cheerleading’s got a lot gymnastic shit in it, it’s not just jumping up and down and looking pretty.”

 

“No way.” Patrick was shaking his head. “Lindsey wouldn’t quit marching band to be a cheerleader. Nothing against cheerleaders, but that’s just not her thing.”

 

“Hey, I’m friends with one of the cheerleader girls. I could just text her and see if Lindsey was on the team.” Brendon offered. _Thank God for Brendon Urie_ , Ray thought, which was a weird thing to think considering that it was Brendon Urie. But Brendon knew people outside of band, more than Ray, who only really knew Christa. Brendon could find out anything if he wanted to, and the group of band kids surrounding him wanted him to. So he pulled out his phone and sent out a text, twirling his phone around in his hand while he waited for his cheerleader friend to respond.

 

Brendon’s phone lit up a few moments later. Brendon read over the message and raised his eyebrows. “Oh. So she _is_ a cheerleader. That’s… I don’t know how to respond to that.”

 

“Why is she a cheerleader?” Patrick asked, leaning over Dallon and Brendon’s shoulders to try and see Brendon’s phone. Brendon tilted the screen towards Patrick. “No idea. Ray, do you know?”

 

“Not really.” Ray said. He tried not to share people’s crushes unless they told him they were okay with others knowing who they liked. Ray didn’t even know if Lindsey liked Hayley the cheerleader, so he didn’t feel comfortable mentioning that she might. The rest of the group seemed to take Ray’s answer as legitimate, even though it was kind of a lie, and moved on to other theories as to why Lindsey would get up and leave marching band. Ray pitched in occasionally, but he made sure not to let the rumours get too out of hand. As of right then, Lindsey was still his friend and he was still going to treat her as such.

 

After marching band practice ended, though, Ray sent out a text to Christa asking if she was at one of the popular parties and if Lindsey was there with her or not. Christa said that they both were, that the entire squad was celebrating being able to perform. She gave Ray the address, and he thanked her before texting his dad and saying that he’d be home late, or he might be spending the night at a friend’s house. Ray’s dad just reminded him that he was supposed to help out at the family restaurant the next day and to not stay up too late.

 

Ray was so glad that his parents trusted him. He was glad that everyone seemed to trust him, because it meant that he could do shit to get his friends out of trouble. No one suspected Ray, because he looked like a good person. He looked like a mom friend, and he was a mom friend for the most part, but he was also like the mom from _Mean Girls_ in that he was a cool mom and that if any of his friends wanted condoms he would get some for them.

 

He wasn’t getting condoms, though. He was going to find Lindsey and figure out what the fuck she was doing.

 

The party was loud and dark and there were half naked people everywhere. Ray tried not to get noticed, because he realised, half way through the living room, that he was a band kid and these were mostly jocks. And, as the cliche went, band kids got targeted by the jocks. Ray didn’t want to get punched before he even had a chance to find Lindsey.

 

He found Christa first. She pulled him out into the backyard, giggling and acting like he was just another one of the popular guys. Ray knew she was doing it to keep him from getting exposed, and he appreciated it. She let go of him once they were in the shadows. “Lindsey’s here, I’ve been keeping an eye on her for you. I didn’t tell her that you were coming though. I didn’t know if you wanted me to or not.”

 

“It’s fine.” Ray leaned over and kissed her forehead. “Do you know where she is now?”

 

“I last saw her with some guys who were setting up Guitar Hero inside.” Christa said. “That was when I got your text and left her to find you.”

 

“Thanks.” Ray kissed her again and then headed back towards the house. He glanced back over his shoulder once to see that Christa was talking to another girl. Christa was like Brendon, except she was a cool person who hung out with the band, not a band person who hung out with cool people. Ray still wasn’t sure how he had managed to get her attention, but he wasn’t about to question it.

 

He found Lindsey in one of the back rooms of the house, with a handful of guys and three girls sitting on a suede couch that had seen better days. Lindsey had a plastic guitar in her hands and was kicking her opponent in the shin as she spun around, playing along to Joan Jett on the screen. The other guy looked freaked out, and he kept moving away from her, only to get kicked again. Lindsey was wearing her heeled boots, too. Ray almost felt sorry for the guy, except that he remembered that the same guy had shoved Frank’s face against his locker before shoving him inside and calling him a bunch of uncreative slurs.

 

Ray leaned against the wall, watching as Lindsey kicked the guy’s ass at Guitar Hero, as well as physically. He wasn’t about to interrupt her. He would probably end up with a foot to the face, because Lindsey went hard in Guitar Hero. Pitting her against Frank that one time at Gee and Mikey’s house had been one of the best decisions of Ray’s life. Gee and Mikey hadn’t even gotten in trouble with their parents when Frank slammed into Lindsey and Lindsey slammed into the glass bookshelf and so much shit got broken. Ray was pretty sure that Gee and Mikey’s parents were just glad that their kids were having some kind of social life outside of D&D and band geekery.

 

Once she finished, with a perfect score because Joan Jett was Lindsey’s go-to in Guitar Hero, she extended the guitar out to a guy with perfectly ruffled blonde hair and a jaw almost as well defined as Mikey’s. She was smirking. “You wanna try next, sweetheart, or do you still think cheerleaders can’t kick ass.”

 

Ray smiled at that. The blonde snatched the plastic guitar from Lindsey and scowled at her. “You just got lucky, and John sucks on that song.”

 

“Alright, fine. Next round you choose the song.” Lindsey said. Her eyes flicked over to where Ray was standing in the corner, and Ray knew that she had seen him. “I need a drink first, so have fun with your bros for a minute. I’ll be back.”

 

She patted the guy on the shoulder and strode over to Ray. She was the same Lindsey as before, but there was something different about her as well. She was faking some of her confidence; it wasn’t all natural like it usually was when she proved someone wrong. Ray figured that that was because of the environment. Lindsey wasn’t used to actual house parties. Brendon’s didn’t count, because Brendon’s band parties were a bunch of nerds pretending to be cool when they really weren’t. As far as Ray knew, Lindsey had never been to a party that Brendon hadn’t been in charge of.

 

She walked up to Ray and looked him up and down before wiping a droplet of sweat off her forehead. “Hey. Did Christa drag you out here?”

 

“I actually came on my own.” Ray said. Lindsey raised an eyebrow. “Really?”

 

“Yeah.” Ray said, seriously. “Lindsey, we need to talk. Why’d you leave marching band?”

 

Lindsey dropped her gaze to the floor and tucked her hair back behind her ear. She looked up and then over her shoulder at the couch, where the three girls were. The one in the middle had bright orange hair styled in a more alternative style than most cheerleaders and was laughing at something one of the other girls had said. She was pretty, and she looked just punk enough to be Lindsey’s type. Ray rubbed his hand across his face. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

 

“Look, she’s cute, and she’s not the only reason I joined the squad.” Lindsey said. Ray shook his head. “Lindsey, come on. She’s a cheerleader; do you really think she’s into girls?”

 

“I’m a cheerleader and I’m into girls.” Lindsey retorted. She had a point. Kind of. Ray frowned. “You’re pretending to be a cheerleader. To get a girl.”

 

“Okay, I made the team fair and square--or as fair as I can be--so I’m a real cheerleader.” Lindsey said. “And, before you go all mom friend on me: yes, I know what I’m doing, and no, I can’t tell you my master plan because it won’t work that way.”

 

“And if I guess your master plan?” Ray asked, raising an eyebrow of his own. “Will that ruin it as well?”

 

“You’ll never guess my plan, Ray, so don’t worry about it.” Lindsey said. She glanced back over her shoulder to see the two guys going at the next round of Guitar Hero in a more normal, less dangerous fashion than she had. She turned back to Ray and smiled. “Well, I need to go show these guys that girls kick more ass and look better doing it. Have a good night, and tell everyone I said hey.”

 

And with that, she was gone. She went back over to the center of the room and leaned against the couch, dipping her head down to get involved in the girls’ conversation while the two boys finished their round of Guitar Hero. Ray stood there and watched her, stunned. After a while, though, he realised that he was wasting his time. He could either go find Christa and hang out with her or he could text Frank and see if he could come over and spend the night until his shift at the restaurant the next morning. Staring at Lindsey while she flirted with a girl wouldn’t answer any of his questions. He would have to look elsewhere.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Please leave a kudos or comment if you enjoyed!


	4. Ray, part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ray is an all-knowing Mom Friend, Frank has no chill, and Gee is pretty, sad, and pretty gay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here's part two of Ray's version of the story. Lindsey's version is up next, and like Ray and Gee, she'll get two chapters. 
> 
> Sorry it took so long, school's been... interesting.

Gee came back on Monday. Not to school, but they came to marching band practice and heard about Lindsey. They looked distraught, and Ray felt bad. Not only was Gee getting bullied, but their best friend had just left them to chase after a girl. Ray had never been in that situation but he figured that it had to hurt. He decided to keep an eye out for Gee and hang out with the Ways more than he usually would. 

 

He was in Gee’s room in the basement and he, Gee, Mikey, and Frank had pulled out Mikey’s collection of Mario Kart games and were slowly going through them all instead of working on their homework. Mikey launched a blue shell at Frank, who was in first place. “Eat my dick, Iero.”

 

“What the fuck Mikey that’s not fucking cool!” Frank yelled, pushing Mikey off of Gee’s bend. Mikey slid to the floor with a small “oof” and extracted himself from Gee’s pile of clothes with one hand while he continued to play with the other. Ray figured that Mikey had been playing these games a lot in his spare time, more than he had admitted to the others. Gee reached up from where they were sitting on the floor and flicked Frank’s knee. “Be nice to my brother fuckface.”

 

“Why is everyone so mean to me?” Frank whined. Ray, who was now a place behind Frank, laughed at him and tossed his final red shell towards Frank. It hit his car and Frank swore really loudly. Gee laughed out loud, and started laughing even louder when their mom called down the stairs to ask if anyone had died. Mikey sped past Ray and Frank and called out, “no, mom, Ray just killed Frank in Mario Kart,” before winning the damn game. 

 

Gee dropped their controller and leaned over their bend to stare at Mikey. “You’re cheating, aren’t you?”

 

“How the fuck do you cheat at Mario Kart?” Mikey asked, and it was a good question because Ray didn’t know the answer and Ray knew how to cheat at every game ever. There were out of game cheating strategies, like knocking the controller out of someone’s hand or putting a hand over their face, but Mikey hadn’t done either of those. Mikey had fallen off the  _ bed  _ and still won the game. Ray was impressed. He leaned over and offered Mikey a high five, which the younger boy accepted. “Whatever you’re doing, it’s working. Congrats.”

 

“Thanks.” Mikey said. He sat up, staring at Frank. “You want to try again, Iero?”

 

“Only if I get to pick your car, you little shit.” Frank said with a determined look on his face. Gee rolled their eyes, but when Ray brought them all back to the start screen Gee started listing off all the shitty options that Frank could pick for Mikey. Mikey reached up from the floor and poked Gee in the side hard enough that they made a squeaking noise and Frank giggled. Like, actual giggling. Ray couldn’t believe that Frank thought people didn’t know he liked Gee. He was the most obvious mother fucker in the world. It was entertaining to watch since Ray knew pretty much everything that was going on with the two of them. He knew most of what was going on within the band, which was a benefit and a curse. A benefit because he got to watch all his friends make idiots of themselves, but a curse because they were idiots who assumed that Ray had nothing better to do than listen to their pining stories.

 

Ray wanted the best for his friends, of course, but he also didn’t want to fail any of his classes. Dealing with a fuckton of crushing teenage nerds meant that his study time got cut short, and then there was also girlfriend time which was more fun than study time but had to work with Christa’s and his schedule.

 

Ray lived a hectic life.

 

Mikey’s car had balloon wheels. Mikey still beat everyone, even with the balloon wheels and the weird looking car that Ray didn’t recognise. Frank slid off Gee’s bed on his own free will and dropped to the floor. His legs were leaned against the bed and pointing up into the air, and he looked ridiculous. Ray nudged Gee with his foot and motioned towards Frank’s legs, which were lazily waving back and forth. Gee nodded and they crawled across the bed, pushing Frank’s legs so that he fell over sideways and onto the floor. Frank made a small “oof” noise and then pushed himself up, his face not far from Gee’s. Ray was really just trying to help him out.

 

Frank flipped Gee off, flicking Gee’s nose with his middle finger and acting like he wasn’t blushing at all. “You suck. You all suck. Ray’s the only good person here and I’m pretty sure he’s setting me up.”

 

“I am.” Ray said, because he was. Just not how Frank assumed. He’d be a bad friend if he didn’t give Frank opportunities to kiss Gee. Frank could use any of them, but he didn’t because he was either an idiot or oblivious, or maybe both. Ray was pretty sure that Frank wasn’t an idiot, though. He knew Frank better than that. Frank leaned around Gee to flip Ray off as well, and Ray just accepted it because he knew that Frank didn’t mean it. He didn’t mean it at Gee either. It would take more than getting shoved over to make Frank hate Gee.

 

Frank climbed back up onto the bed and rearranged himself into a proper playing position. “Okay. Let’s do this again, except we can’t let Mikey win. If Mikey wins, I’m going to make him play with his feet.”

 

“I could beat all of you with my feet.” Mikey said, choosing the balloon car again because he was a little shit and probably could beat all of them with his feet. Gee looked down at their little brother, and then back over their shoulder at Ray and Frank, asking the two of them for an alliance. Frank nodded eagerly, like beating Mikey would be the highlight of his day or something. Ray shrugged, because he might as well try. Also, it would be a little embarrassing if he got his ass handed to him by a string bean too many times. 

 

* * *

 

_ mariokart master: ray i need u to make g spend the night petes parents arent home its important and ill teach u my mariokart skills if u do _

 

_ to mariokart master: yea sure.  _

_ when did you change your name in my phone? _

 

_ mariokart master: its part of my mariokart skillset _

 

Ray shook his head, waited a few minutes, and then sent a text out to Frank and Gee telling them to come over after the game. Frank agreed immediately but Gee didn’t even see the text until the third quarter break and by then they had figured out what Mikey was trying to do and refused. Mikey narrowed his eyes at Ray, who made an innocent face and let Frank have some of his fries. Frank, being a vegetarian, lived off of concession stand fries and the occasional bag of Skittles. Ray felt bad for him but then remembered that the rest of the band wasn’t any better; the only difference between Frank and the rest of the band was that the band had more options. 

 

Gee left Mikey to come and sit down against the fence with Ray and Frank. They gave Ray a look that wasn’t very friendly. “You need to work on your mom friend skills. Promoting underage sex is not a very mom thing to do.”

 

“One: don’t slut shame your own brother.” Ray said, and took a fry before setting the tray between himself and Frank. “Two: I’m the mom from  _ Mean Girls _ . I’m pretty sure we established this years ago.”

 

“He’s my brother, Ray, he’s too young to be in such a fast moving, intense relationship.” Gee said, and Ray could tell that they weren’t completely serious. They were just worried about Pete hurting Mikey, which was understandable considering the only relationship Gee had ever been in. Ray had only been close to Gee at the end of it all, but Lindsey and Mikey had seen the whole thing go down and had filled in the gaps for Ray. Ray didn’t know how much Frank knew, but he knew that Gee didn’t like to talk about it and so he didn’t talk to Frank about it. 

 

Ray stretched his legs out. “Alright, I’ll talk to Mikey about not being an idiot. But you need to remember that he’s his own person and he isn’t always going to do shit that you agree with, but that doesn’t mean he’s doing the wrong thing.”

 

Gee leaned their head back against the fence, their hair falling everywhere around their face. Ray didn’t even have to turn to Frank to know that Frank was giving Gee heart eyes. Ray could feel Frank’s gaze moving past him to focus only on Gee. Gee tucked their hair behind their ear. “I know. I just want the best for him, you know? He’s my baby brother.”

 

“He knows.” Ray said. “He also knows that I’m the alpha mom friend and that you need to let him breathe.”

 

Gee stared up at the sky for a bit longer, and then a grin slowly spread across their face. They turned their head sideways, eyes glinting dangerously under the fluorescent stadium lights. “We could always go to Pete’s house, since his parents aren’t there.”

 

Frank giggled. “Gee, you’re an asshole. Let’s do it.”

 

* * *

 

It was homecoming day, and Mikey still hadn’t forgiven Ray or Gee for ruining his night with Pete. Pete had laughed it off because he was Pete and he was kind of an asshole, but Mikey was inviting Ray and Frank over just to kick their asses at any video game they tried to play. Gee had given up, and would just hang out in the corner and draw while Mikey shot, rammed into, or brutally murdered Ray and Frank’s characters. 

 

It was homecoming day, and the band was at a competition. Ray had gotten a good luck text from Christa earlier, and he had responded with a “same and i’ll miss you at hc” text because he knew she didn’t want to go without him. She had to, though, because the cheerleader squad and their dates went to every school function to make themselves look better. Ray liked homecoming well enough, but he liked Christa and being with Christa more than some school dance. Especially since homecoming was held in the school cafeteria. 

 

He wasn’t complaining about the competition, though, because it was warm and sunny without being disgusting. No one had to squint while they warmed up, either, which was good because half the band didn’t bring their sunglasses and Ray only had three spare pairs in his backpack. His backpack was in the stands and their band was already out on the practice field, warming up. Ray wouldn’t have a chance to go back and grab sunglasses for anyone had they needed them.

 

As usual, Frank snuck up to the front of the band to kiss Gee, and returned back to the saxophone section to get his instrument from either Patrick or Chantal. He was also blushing, which didn’t surprise Ray at all. Frank thought he was so subtle, giving Gee good luck kisses and then blushing his way through every competition. Of course, Ray also knew all the details of Frank's feelings for Gee because Frank never shut up about them, but Frank's crush was obvious even without Ray's external knowledge. 

 

The band did incredible, not that they hadn’t been doing well before, but Ray was pretty sure that this was their best competition that year. Even without Lindsey, who was their best trombonist (Mikey was second chair but had taken her role and was kicking ass as well). Everyone was in a good mood as they settled into the bleachers, and Gee didn’t seem to mind too much that Pete and Mikey were practically in each other’s laps. 

 

It was good. It got better afterwards, because Brendon Urie was a fucking party animal and refused to let anyone get out of going to homecoming. His party wasn’t like actual homecoming, though. No one dressed up (most of the band was still sweaty), it wasn’t held in the cafeteria, and there was alcohol. In Ray’s humble opinion, it was better than the real homecoming.

 

It took a while, but once most of the band was drunk enough not to give a shit, Joe convinced everyone to join in on what had to be the largest game of spin the bottle ever. As predicted, Andy sat back and watched while sipping on a Capri Sun that he had stolen from Brendon’s basement fridge. Also as expected, Frank was petting Gee’s hair and went first. He had to kiss Dallon, and he did it with such enthusiasm that Ray forgot he liked Gee for a second. Brendon looked less than impressed. He looked even less impressed when Dallon spun and got Chantal, who was sitting next to Brendon and happily accepted his short, close-mouthed kiss. 

 

Dallon was gay and also the least likely to be a homewrecker. Jimmy booed him anyway. Brendon leaned back against the sofa and took a long sip from his drink. Ray knew this would be an entertaining trainwreck; he was glad he was there to witness it all, especially since he wasn’t so drunk that he’d forget it tomorrow.

 

Brendon seemed determined to keep the game going, but when the bottle landed on Frank again (Jamia had to kiss him and they both looked very awkward about it), Frank spun and got Gee. Gee looked down at him, a small smile on their face, and Ray thought  _ finally. Please don’t fuck this up, Frank. There is no way for you to fuck this up. _ There were, of course, countless ways that Frank could fuck this up but Ray was being hopeful because he fucking wanted to. Frank didn’t look too nervous about kissing Gee, but that was because he was drunk and not because he had finally gotten over his paranoia that Gee found him creepy or disgusting or whatever excuse Frank was using that week. 

 

Frank leaned in, cupping Gee’s face, and kissed them. And then kept kissing them. Ray wasn’t sure if he wanted to stop Frank or cheer him on. He could see Mikey covering his face in the corner of his vision as Frank crawled on top of Gee. 

 

Frank seemed to realise that he was eating Gee’s face, and then he froze. He pulled back, eyes wide, and he looked terrified. He sat back only for a second, but Ray figured that it felt like hours in Frank’s mind, and then yanked his shirt up and over his head and shouted, “time for the pool!” before running to Brendon’s back door. He slid the glass door open and Ray sat up to call out, “Frank, pants!”

 

“Oh yeah, thanks man.” Frank called back, stepping out of his ripped jeans and just leaving them out in the middle of Brendon’s backyard. Brendon got up, pulling Dallon up with him. “So, who else is gonna join us?”

 

There was a mass movement of people stripping off clothes and heading off out to Brendon’s pool. Ray joined the rest of his friends, moving across the back patio and into the pool. The water was cold, but it felt nice and Frank jumped on Ray’s back as soon as Ray was in there, shaking his wet hair everywhere as he dug his fingers into Ray’s arms to get a better grip on him. Ray dropped back, throwing the both of them under the water. Frank smacked him across the face and then fell off, and so Ray resurfaced. 

 

Frank came up a few seconds later, sputtering. He splashed Ray in the face. “You fucking… fuckface. You’re a fuckface and your hair looks small.”

 

“You look small.” Ray said, splashing Frank back. Frank shook his hair out again, the mohawk going everywhere and whipping against his face. He wrapped his arms around himself and shivered, as though he had just realised how cold the pool was. Frank closed his eyes and made a face. Ray couldn’t tell if it was a frustrated face or an embarrassed one. Frank opened his eyes and looked past Ray to where Gee was sitting on the edge of the pool, still in their t-shirt and just letting their feet dangle in the water. Frank’s face softened. “I kissed Gee.”

 

“You gonna owe up to it?” Ray asked, because Frank should. Because Frank needed to stop being such a fucking child and ask Gee out already. 

 

Frank shook his head. “No way, man. We were drunk and I fucking used  _ tongue _ . In front of their brother. Mikey deserves better.”

 

“Pete’s done worse.” Ray said. Frank raised an eyebrow. Ray touched his own hair, and as Frank had mentioned earlier, it was a lot smaller than usual. “Like, a lot worse. For two people who are trying to keep their relationship a secret from the older sibling, they are doing a really bad job. I had to unfollow Pete on Instagram because there was just too much Mikey on my feed.”

 

“I don’t have an Instagram.” Frank said. Ray put a hand on Frank’s shoulder. “Keep it that way.”

 

“I made out with Gee, Ray, for no fucking reason.” Frank half whispered so that Ray almost didn’t hear it over everyone else shouting and messing around. Frank punched Ray in the arm. “Ray. I made out with Gee. For no reason. I’m going to die. They’re going to think I’m in love with them or something.”

 

Ray rolled his eyes. “But you are in love with them.”

 

“Yes but they don’t know that yet.” Frank said. He face planted into the pool water and then slung his head back, his hair and the water arching up in a really cool, dramatic way that Ray would never be able to pull off because of his curls. Frank looked over at Gee again, because he was the least obvious person in the world. “Look, I know you probably know more about everything than I do because you’re Ray and everyone trusts you with their deepest, darkest secrets for some fucking reason, but I’m pretty sure Gee doesn’t like me. I’m pretty sure they like Lindsey, which is why her leaving to go fuck some cheerleader is hurting them so bad. And that’s why I’m so pissed at Lindsey, because leaving Gee is fucking rude and I thought there was some  _ bros before hoes _ thing going on in marching band.”

 

Frank finally turned away from Gee to face Ray once again. “I’m also kinda drunk so I might be oversharing. But I overshare around you anyway. And I’m pretty sure Gee has a thing for Lindsey because she’s pretty and confident and has nice legs. They told me she has nice legs. I’m in the fucking friendzone, Ray.”

 

Ray rolled his eyes, again. Drunk and pining Frank was the worst Frank, honestly. “The friendzone isn’t real, Frank, and Gee doesn’t like Lindsey. They would have told me already if they did.”

 

“I know the friendzone isn’t real,” Frank said, “but if it was that’s where I would be. I kind of put myself there anyway. I was too much no homo with Gee, even though I can’t even be homo with them because they’re not a boy.”

 

Frank let out a sigh. “I’m too fucking gay for this.”

 

“Actually, in this situation, you’re kind of straight.” Ray said. He wasn’t sure if that was accurate, though, because he was pretty sure that Gee would have to be a girl for Frank to be straight in any way. Of course, if Gee was a girl and Frank liked them, then Frank wouldn’t actually be straight because Frank would still like boys. He’d be bisexual. Ray shook his head. He was thinking about this way too much. “You should ask them out anyway. Or at least tell them you think they’re cute. I don’t know. Just, stop pining so hard. You’re making me want to claw my face off.”

 

“You’re the worst mom ever.” Frank said. Ray shrugged. Frank squinted, like he was trying to focus on one particular part of Ray’s face. “Do you really think I should do that? Even if Gee likes Lindsey?”

 

“Duh.” Ray said. Frank cut his eyes over to Gee. Ray grabbed Frank’s forearm and yanked him forward, so that he floated past, over near where Gee was still sitting, sipping on a drink and kicking their feet. Ray patted Frank on the back. “Go get ‘em, tiger.”

 

“Don’t ever say that to me again.” Frank said. He flicked Ray off and then half swam, half walked over to Gee. Ray turned back around. It would be rude to watch. It would also be creepy. Ray would just have to trust Frank to do his usual drunk and affectionate thing and (successfully) flirt with Gee on his own. Ray wasn’t Frank’s real mom, just the mom friend. He couldn’t hold Frank’s hand through everything. 

 

* * *

 

Frank was over dramatic and whining for the entire ride to mass. Ray was glad he had an extra pair of sunglasses in his car because he did not need a triple cause headache first thing in the morning, and overexposure to sunlight plus Frank plus a hangover would give him just that. 

 

“So I told them that I liked them and we kissed a few times but then we passed out in a pile of blankets with you and I don't think Gee remembers any of it.” Frank said, staring at the dashboard. “And I can't tell them now because then they'll think I took advantage of them and I did, kind of, but it was your fault. You give bad advice.”

 

“I wasn't exactly sober, Frank. And you can still tell Gee that you like them. They obviously liked you enough to kiss you and cuddle you last night.” Ray said. He turned onto the next street and willed the Catholic church to get there faster. Frank slouched further down into Ray’s passenger seat and kicked his feet out. “Okay. If I survive mass--and my mom--then I will tell Gee that I like them. But I want you in the background for moral support when I do it because I will be fucking  _ terrified _ and I know Gee will have Mikey in the background for their moral support.”

 

“It’s a deal.” Ray said, and as though it were an actual sign from God, Frank’s church appeared in front of them. It wasn’t a sign from God because Ray had driven to Frank’s church before. It wasn’t only Frank’s church; the Way family and Ray’s family were members there as well, but Frank and his mom went every Sunday, and to every Wednesday evening service that didn’t conflict with marching band practice. That was a kind of religious dedication that Ray didn’t get, especially since Frank was gay and the Catholic church wasn’t the most friendly towards gay people. 

 

But if Frank wanted to be a part of it, then Ray wasn’t going to stop him. He just pulled up to the front entrance and parked the car, unlocking the doors. “Alright, text me when you get out or whatever and I’ll head over to your house. I’m going to get Gee pants and then head back to Brendon’s.”

 

“Cool.” Frank said, jumping out of the car. He mumbled out a “thanks for the ride, dude” before slamming the door shut. Ray rolled his eyes. Frank tried so hard to be punk; it was endearing. 

 

He stopped by the Way’s house, grabbing a pair of jeans that looked and smelled relatively clean, and then returned to Brendon’s. Most everyone was awake and in the kitchen by the time Ray returned with pants for Gee, and so he joined them all, stealing a few strips of facon and a pancake (made by Dallon). Breakfast was quiet except for Mikey and Pete coming in halfway through and looking like they had had the roughest sex in the world in Brendon’s guest bedroom. Brendon kicked them out while looking at Dallon like Dallon hung the moon in the sky, making a bullshit excuse about getting dragged to Mormon church or something. 

 

Dallon didn’t drag Brendon anywhere; Brendon followed Dallon around like a lost puppy while acting like he was the alpha male in their not romantic broship. Ray was still deciding if Brendon and Dallon were worse than Frank and Gee or not. Both pairs were kind of really hopeless. 

 

When Ray got home there was a Frank waiting for him on his front steps. Ray stared at Frank and Frank waved his phone in the air. “I texted you. You didn’t text back so I just had mom drop me off at your house. I told her I’d take a shower at your house and then just hang out and she said it was okay because you’re Ray Toro and you are good and pure in her eyes. Also, I wanna call Gee right the fuck now, before I chicken out.”

 

“Sure.” Ray nodded, and unlocked the door. The two boys took off their shoes before heading back to Ray’s room, and Frank jumped onto Ray’s bend, looking way too excited about this. Ray figured that Frank was just hiding his nervousness under his excitement. Ray pulled his socks off and tossed one at Frank because he knew Frank would freak out about it. Frank flipped him off and sat down in the middle of the bed. “Fuck, I’m nervous. Is it normal to be nervous? Were you nervous when you asked Christa out?”

 

Ray rolled his eyes. “Yes, it’s normal to be nervous, and yes, I--”

 

Ray’s own phone cut him off. He pulled it out of his pocket to see that Gee was calling him. Frank sat up enough that he could see Gee’s face as well. Frank’s eyes widened. “Put it on speaker, this is so much easier.”

 

“Yeah, sure,” Ray said, and did just that. “Hey Gee.”

 

Frank was biting his lip and grabbing his own calves like he had to physically stop himself from confessing his love for Gee.

 

“Ray. I have a slight problem. I have a crush on Lindsey.” Gee’s voice said, coming out shaky and uncertain, and Ray watched Frank’s face go from excited, nervous, and hopeful to distraught to really fucking pissed. Ray cut his eyes to Frank, silently telling him to shut the fuck up and let Ray handle this. Frank continued to clench his jaw and look like he wanted to punch everything in Ray’s room. 

 

“Okay. Is it a big crush or just a small one?” Ray asked, carefully watching Frank. He was going to treat this phone call like Frank wasn’t there at all, because he was a supportive friend. He wasn’t going to kick Frank out of his room, because he knew that Frank would go and do something stupid if Ray stopped watching him. He could take the phone off speaker, but Gee might notice (they noticed shit like that sometimes) and ask why they were on speaker in the first place. Of course, Ray could lie, but he could also just trust Frank not to be a dick about anything Gee said. 

 

“It’s… it’s kind of big?” Gee said. There was some crackling on the other end, presumably them shifting around on whatever surface they were laying on. “I think I’ve liked her for a while, I just didn’t realise it until she left and now I feel like an idiot.”

 

“It’s not your fault, Gee.” Ray said. Frank’s pissed off-ness intensified. “Sometimes romantic feelings are hard to seperate from platonic feelings. Sometimes they overlap or blend into one another.”

 

“I mean, yeah, but Lindsey’s still gone.” Gee said, and they sounded heartbroken. Ray wished that he could be with them and that Frank hadn’t come over so that this would be less complicated. Unfortunately, Ray’s life was always complicated. It was one of the downsides to being the mom friend. Ray tapped his fingers against his leg. “Have you tried talking to her at all? Not to tell her you like her, but just to see what she’s doing?”

 

“I tried earlier but she just brushed me off.” Gee said. “Look, Ray, I know you want to help me out but I think I’m just fucked.”

 

“Gee,” Ray started.

 

“I just can’t believe I’m living a fucking Taylor Swift song.” Gee said. Frank made a face at that one, and Ray thought  _ same _ . He let Gee finish explaining themselves. “It’s that one music video where she’s a shitty impression of a marching band kid and her hair’s out of her hat--why the fuck do I know this?”

 

“Face it, you’re a teenage girl.” Ray said.

 

“Fuck.” Gee said, but they giggled a little bit after it so Ray knew that they were feeling better. “Fuck, I really am a teenage girl. I’m gonna do some art or something and stop judging myself for liking Taylor Swift. I’ll go steal Mikey’s music.”

 

“Alright, I’ll talk to you later Gee.” Ray said, and then let Gee hang up because Gee might take it personally if Ray hung up on them when they were spilling their feelings. As soon as Ray locked his phone, though, Frank was standing up and moving. Ray followed him, because whatever Frank was thinking would be a good idea right then was probably not a good idea. It was only when Frank grabbed Ray’s keys off of the kitchen table that Ray tried to stop him. “Frank what the fuck are you doing?”

 

“I’m stealing your fucking car and I’m going to fucking drive into Lindsey’s fucking apartment and kick her fucking ass.” Frank said in the most emotionless voice Ray had ever heard in his life. Ray grabbed Frank’s shoulder and whirled him around so that the two were face to face. Ray stared down at Frank. “No. You are not stealing my car because you can’t drive. You are not going to drive  _ into _ Lindsey’s apartment because that will wreck my car and then I will have to kill you. You are not going to kick her ass because it’s not her fault that Gee’s a hopeless romantic and not as into you as we thought.”

 

Frank leaned into Ray’s space, eyes narrowed. “Look,  _ mom _ , I don’t give a flying fuck about your rules and responsibilities or any of that shit. Gee’s my fucking  _ friend _ and I am not going to just fucking sit back and let them pine over some bitch who cares more about getting some than her real friends. So back off, and let me drive the fucking car.”

 

“No.” Ray said sternly. “I’m driving the fucking car, and you don’t call a girl a bitch just because you don’t like her.”

 

* * *

 

Lindsey didn’t know what was coming for her when she opened the door. Ray didn’t either, because what came for her was a small ball of fury and fists named Frank Iero. He punched her right in the jaw too, and Ray would have been impressed if he hadn't been too busy freaking out because his two friends were  _ punching each other in the face _ . It was a full on brawl, with Ray grabbing for anything that didn't look like hair because he was not a hair puller even in the most drastic of situations. 

 

He managed to get Frank's leg with only a single kick to the shoulder (hard enough to bruise) and pulled Frank away from Lindsey. She spat at them both. “What the fuck is wrong with you?! You can't just come into my fucking apartment and punch me in my fucking face! What the fuck!”

 

“You can't just act like being gay excludes you from shitty actions like leaving your best friend to go whore around with some fucking cheerleaders in short ass skirts!” Frank spat back. Lindsey opened her mouth but Ray pushed Frank away from her and got between the two of them, curling his fists up. “Both of you shut up. Neither of you are the Goddamn hero in this situation and you need to stop acting like you're doing anyone a favour right now.”

 

Frank and Lindsey were both staring at him, wide-eyed. Ray addressed Frank first. “You need to stop letting your obsession with Gee cloud your judgement, and stop assuming that you're the only one who can save them. Fun fact, they've got depression and loving the shit out of them isn't the cure. It helps, but your love for Gee isn't going to change the fact that they're mentally ill and apparently not into you.”

 

Before Frank could say anything (because Ray knew he would if given the chance), Ray turned to Lindsey. “And you. I don't know why you're suddenly into cheerleading and unlike all your other friends I'm not assuming it's just because of a girl. The reason doesn't matter, though. You can't just leave your entire friend group without any kind of explanation. You especially can't just abandon your supposed best friend, who's getting beaten up for being queer, and then be a dick to them when they ask you why you left. That's not okay.”

 

“Ray, it's not what it looks like.” Lindsey said. Frank huffed. “It better not be.”

 

Lindsey narrowed her eyes at him. “I wasn't talking to you. You punched me in the fucking face.”

 

“You hurt Gee!” Frank shouted. Ray rolled his eyes and looked over his shoulder at Frank. “Frank, shut the fuck up for two minutes.”

 

Frank crossed his arms over his chest and proceeded to look like a five year old who wasn't getting his way. Ray didn't care. He didn't get paid enough for this shit and he envied every parent whose children didn't get along. Ray turned back to Lindsey. “Gee cares about you, and leaving band freaked them out. I don't care what your reasoning is, but you need to talk to Gee. They think you hate them, or that you don't care about any of us, and I doubt that that's what's going on. So don't explain yourself to me and Frank. Explain yourself to Gee, because they're the one you're hurting.”

 

Ray stared her down for a few more seconds, just to make sure Lindsey knew what he was saying. Lindsey nodded. “I will.”

 

“You better.” Ray said. He put his hand on Frank’s shoulder and moved him towards the door, knowing that Frank would still fight her if given the chance. Frank’s shoulder was tense under Ray’s hand, and stayed like that all the way back to Ray’s car. He stayed tense and angry until they had left the apartment complex, and then Frank slumped down, looking kind of pathetic. “I’m not trying to be Gee’s knight in shining armour or whatever.”

 

“You kind of are.” Ray said. Frank sighed. “How do I stop doing that?”

 

“Let them fight their own battles.” Ray said. “Like with Lindsey, for example. Regardless of whether Gee likes her or not, she was their friend first, and we don’t know all the details of their friendship. All we know is that Lindsey’s a cheerleader now, Gee doesn’t know what’s going on, and the two of them probably need to start communicating better. Throwing punches at Gee’s best friend since pre-k isn’t going to get you bonus points with them, and getting pissed off at Lindsey is going to make Gee think that they have to choose sides between you and Lindsey.”

 

“Okay, but Lindsey’s being kind of a b--” Ray side-eyed Frank, “-- _ dick _ right now, so if Gee was going to choose between one of us--”

 

“Which they’re not.” Ray interjected.

 

“I’m pretty sure they’d choose me.” Frank finished. Ray shook his head. “Maybe not. I’m not saying that you and I don’t have a solid friendship with Gee, but Lindsey is their second longest friendship. Mikey’s the only one who knows Gee better than Lindsey, probably, and Gee’s trusted her with shit I don’t even know about.”

 

“Wait, how do you know that?” Frank made a confused face. 

 

Ray turned onto the street where Frank lived. “Because Gee told me the short and sweet version of something that happened to them and that Lindsey and Mikey were the only ones who knew everything because they had lived through it. It was a shitty point in Gee’s life, Frank. If they don’t want to talk about it, I’m not going to make them.”

 

“Oh.” Frank said quietly. They were in front of Frank’s mom’s house. Frank sunk lower into his seat. “Actually, could you take me too Gee’s house? I kinda just want to hug them now.”

 

“You sure?” Ray asked. Frank nodded. Ray waited until Frank texted Gee and got an affirmative before backing out of the driveway and going to the Ways’ house. Ray waited until Frank disappeared into the house, let in by a sleepy looking Mikey, and then headed back to his own house. Both of his parents were out at the restaurant, but they had given Ray the day off since he had been at competition and Brendon’s homecoming party the day before and they figured he would be doing homework. Ray hadn’t told them that he didn’t really do homework at home anymore. 

 

He hadn’t been alone for more than five minutes before the doorbell rang. Ray, being the only one home, answered it, and was surprised to see Christa on the other side. He let her in, kissing her forehead and closing the door behind her. She didn’t go into the house like she usually did. She just leaned against the wall and let out a deep sigh. Ray furrowed his eyebrows. “Are you okay?”

 

“I’m so sorry for your life as the band’s mom friend.” Christa said. That didn’t clarify anything. Ray leaned against the wall as well. “Why?”

 

“Because I feel your pain.” Christa said. “Knowing too much sucks, especially when everyone assumes that you know everything.”

 

“Christa, what are you talking about?” Ray asked. “Did something happen?”

 

Christa let out a sharp laugh. “You could say that. I don’t know what happened at homecoming because I found some of my non-cheerleader friends and hung out with them, but apparently almost all of the varsity squad has dumped their boyfriends, and some of the JV squad have started dumping theirs as well. All the exes are chasing me down and asking me for answers, like I’m some all-knowing mother or something!”

 

“Are you an all-knowing mother or something?” Ray asked. Christa shook her head. “I don’t think so. But one of our fly girls just asked me how to flirt with girls, so maybe something happened and now they’re all questioning their sexuality? I don’t know why they’d all be doing it at the same time, though.”

  
Ray did.  _ Lindsey Ballato, ultimate gay. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Please leave kudos or a comment if you enjoyed!


	5. Lindsey, part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How Lindsey did it all, part one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here's the first part of Lindsey's version. It's about to get very gay.
> 
> Most of the cheerleaders are original characters, but Christa (Toro), Sarah (Urie), Hayley (Williams), and Alicia (Simmons) are not.

Lindsey had heard horror stories about people coming out and getting beaten up in high school, but she had never expected any of her friends to be a part of that. She’d just assumed that the kids at Belleville High were better than the other high school jerks. She was wrong, of course, and now Gee and Brendon and Frank were all covered in cuts and bruises. 

 

Ray came over to her apartment after band practice ended, asking her for ideas on how to get the jocks to back off. Lindsey had no idea. She knew that the band couldn’t do it on their own; the band kids were already labelled as lame, gay freaks with no status in the school. Since they were already labelled as having the gay plague (which wasn’t a thing in the first place), Lindsey was pretty sure no one would help.

 

She and her friends were fucked. Ray texted her ideas on how to stop the abuse, and Lindsey responded with some of her own, but none of them were good enough. 

 

On Friday, Lindsey watched from the band room window as Ms. Iero’s car pulled up to the side of the school. Frank got out, his face swollen from the fight he had been in the previous day. His mom looked like she wanted to follow him out of the car and into the school to make sure that no one hurt him. Lindsey got up and opened the door to the band room, waving at Frank. Frank waved back, weakly, as his mom continued to watch him from the driver’s seat of her car. She probably wouldn’t be as worried if she knew that Frank was getting beaten up for being gay, or maybe she wasn’t that kind of close-minded parent. Maybe she cared about her kid regardless of who he was, even if her religion said otherwise.

 

Lindsey decided that it was too early to be sad and emotional about bad parents. She let Frank in and closed the door behind him. “What happened to your face?”

 

“They got me after band practice.” Frank said, reaching up in an aborted gesture to touch his face. “The cheerleaders meet up with their boyfriends after we leave the field to make out and do gross straight things. I don't know why, since the cheer squad has practice right after school. The bleachers aren't even that great of a place to make out with someone.”

 

“You're not talking from experience, are you?” Lindsey asked. Frank flipped her off. “You don’t know what I do in my spare time. I could be making out with tons of guys if I wanted to.”

 

“But you’re not. You’re waiting on one special person.” Lindsey said, getting a blush out of Frank. Frank shoved her gently, muttering something along the lines of “shut the fuck up.” Lindsey let it slide because she wasn’t supposed to be aware of Frank’s super obvious crush on Gee. She also figured that he deserved a break; he’d gotten his face messed up pretty badly. Either he was on a fuckton of pain meds, or he was just really hardcore about the pain. It was probably the latter, considering Frank. Lindsey followed him into the instrument room, where he dropped his backpack and his saxophone case. Lindsey raised an eyebrow. Frank poked the case with his toe. “I can’t really play it right now, because of the face and shit.”

 

“Oh. Sorry.” Lindsey said. 

 

Frank shrugged. “It’s whatever.”

 

“Holy shit, Frank, are you okay?” Gee stood in the doorway, one hand on the strap of their messenger bag and the other one holding onto Mikey. Mikey, of course, was texting, and he looked a little irritated under his bangs, glasses, and beanie. Frank looked up at Gee, who still had a black eye but was doing their best to cover it with concealer. He nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine. Mom gave me some IBUprofen earlier. I can still march, but I won't be able to play until the swelling goes down.”

 

“Frank, I'm sorry.” Gee said, letting go of Mikey's hand and coming over to hug Frank. Frank patted Gee’s shoulder. “It's not your fault, Gee. You didn't punch me in the face.”

 

“Yeah, but I shouldn't have let you wait alone for your mom.” Gee said into the top of Frank's head. Lindsey felt like she was a third wheel, but she said “we shouldn't be afraid of waiting alone in the first place,” anyway. Frank have her a thumbs up from over Gee's shoulder and Mikey looked up from his phone long enough to nod at Lindsey. Gee lets go of Frank and looks at his face. “How long are you gonna look like that?”

 

“Who knows,” Frank shrugged. “Hopefully not forever; I liked my face the way it was before.”

 

“I liked your face before it got messed up too.” Gee said, and Lindsey desperately tried to make eye contact with Mikey because this was the most ridiculous thing in the world. Gee probably didn’t even realise that they were flirting with Frank (semi flirting, really). They were just doing their own thing, up in their head and appreciating people’s faces in an aesthetic way. Frank, of course, played it off like he wasn’t internally swooning, but Lindsey wasn’t blind and if Mikey would look up for two seconds he would be able to agree with her. Unfortunately, Mikey was having an intense text conversation with someone. 

 

The late bell rang and the four of them left the instrument room, grabbing their cases and heading to their respective seats. Lindsey took in the band, some of them looking pretty battered. She frowned. She needed to do something, and quickly. 

 

* * *

 

Lindsey hated most of the cheerleaders. It wasn’t some misogynistic thing where she saw them as vapid sluts. It was just that the majority of them were loud, annoying, and had low standards. Lindsey pitied them, because they were straight and had shitty straight boyfriends. Christa, Ray’s girlfriend and also a cheerleader, was lucky. Ray was a good person, and--as far as Lindsey knew--not a douchebag straight boy. Ray probably knew what to do with a girl once he got her naked. Lindsey was pretty sure that all the other boys dating cheerleaders had no idea what they were doing. 

 

Lindsey would pity them, except that two of them were sitting in front of her in math and they were not doing math at all. Lindsey was trying to do math, but it wasn’t working very well with the loudly whispered conversation in front of her.

 

“...it would be so much easier if Gina let us have fill-in girls.” The one with auburn hair said to the one with too much eyeliner. “I just want to go see my boyfriend today, but no, I have to stay and practice a routine that no one cares about.”

 

“You could always just break your leg and then Gina would have to do emergency tryouts.” Eyeliner said. Lindsey was pretty sure that her name was Alicia and the other one was Tori. She’d go with that until she got their actual names.  _ If _ she got their actual names. She didn’t plan on talking to them much or trying to be their friends. Alicia looked down at the worksheet they were supposed to be working on. “At this point, I’d break my own leg to get out of it. Gina’s acting like a total control freak. I heard from Sarah that she’s going to try and control how we do hair and makeup outside of practice.”

 

“She can’t do that, she’s not even the coach!” Tori said loudly, and the math teacher looked up from where he was helping another student to give the two girls a raised eyebrow of disdain. 

 

Alicia ignored the teacher. “Try telling her that. And no one’s going to stand up to her either; she’s too much of a controlling bitch. No one has the balls to tell her to shut up.”

 

_ I bet I do _ , Lindsey thought, and then made a face at herself.  _ Dude, what the fuck? Why do you care about some cheerleader squabble? You’ve got your own friends to worry about… _

 

_ Wait. The cheerleaders are all wilting heterosexuals clinging on to dumb guys because they don’t think they have any other options. The guys they’re dating are the same ones beating up my friends. Tori or whoever wants off the cheerleading squad, and I know how to bullshit my way through a situation… _

 

Lindsey grinned into her palm, careful not to fuck up her lipstick, because that would just be embarrassing. She leaned forward, over her desk. “I could shut her up for you.”

 

The two girls spun around, their hair doing that dramatic over the shoulder fall and everything. Alicia narrowed her eyes. “Who are you, exactly? Aren’t you one of those band kids?”

 

“Yeah, but I can also do gymnastics and I’m kind of cool.” Lindsey said, and then realised that by saying she was cool she had just destroyed all of her cool points. She decided to refrain from mentioning that she and Gee had discussed starting a D&D session at some point in the future. That would definitely ruin her plan, which wasn’t a plan at this point. It was more of an impulsive thought that Lindsey had acted on and hoped for the best. 

 

“You’ll have to convince Gina that we need an extra girl, so good luck with that.” Tori said, looking down at Lindsey like Lindsey was less than her or something. Yet another reason that Lindsey didn’t like most cheerleaders. They thought that they were better than most everyone, just because they could get away with wearing short skirts to school. Lindsey had been sent to the nurse’s office to change skirts so many times, and her skirts weren’t even that short. She just had really long legs. 

 

Lindsey shrugged. “I can do that. You wanted to go see your boyfriend anyway, didn’t you?”

 

“He’s not my main boyfriend.” Tori said, dropping her voice so that no one else could hear them. “He’s just rich and in college, and he buys me things when he thinks I’m sad. He’s also really good in bed, but my parents would never approve of him. He’s older, and, like, does drugs sometimes.”

 

“Oh, yeah, I guess that would be bad.” Lindsey said after a few seconds of staring at the two girls and the two girls staring back. “So, uh, when do you guys have rehearsal?”

 

“It’s practice,” Alicia snapped, “and it’s every day, right after school until you band freaks take the field.”

 

“Okay, thanks.” Lindsey said, nodding to herself. She didn’t care about either of these girls outside of a generic feminist emotion, and besides, she had an agenda. She couldn’t afford to think of them as deep, emotional people with shit to do. She smiled at the two of them. “I’ll be there.”

 

* * *

 

Getting Christa’s phone number was easier than Lindsey thought. Convincing Christa to get involved in the plan was harder than Lindsey thought, because Lindsey didn’t know Christa that well and she wasn’t sure what Christa’s opinion was on maiming a fellow teammate. Lindsey was sitting on Christa’s back porch, sipping lemonade from a straw, and feeling like a normal suburban white girl. She twirled the straw around and squinted out into Christa’s backyard, where a small dog was running around. “So, we’re going to have to break someone’s leg.”

 

“No.” Christa said. She also had a lemonade, as well as sunglasses on and her hair up in a bun. Lindsey frowned. “But it’s for the greater good.”

 

“Everyone on that cheer squad wants to be there, even if Gina is getting a God complex and starting to ruin it for everyone.” Christa took a sip from her lemonade. “And besides, there’s a huge risk of getting caught if we mess up. You need to either find a girl willing to quit the squad for a whole season, or come up with a different idea for how to get yourself on the team.”

 

“I know a girl who wants off.” Lindsey said. Christa raised an eyebrow so high Lindsey could see it over the top of her sunglasses. Lindsey rubbed at the lipstick stain at the top of her straw. “Tori? I think that’s her name. She’s the one with the shoulder length red hair and the secret college boyfriend. She said she wanted to get off so that she could see him more. She might be willing to break her leg.”

 

“You mean have her leg broken.” Christa corrected. Lindsey waved her off. “Details, details. I got a girl, now I just need you to teach me the routine so I won’t look like an idiot when I try out. I don’t have anything to set on fire this time.”

 

“Alright, if you take over for Tori, you’ll be one of the bases, which means you’ll need a lot of upper body strength.” Christa got up, taking her lemonade with her, and Lindsey followed, curious as to where they were going. Christa led her to the kitchen, talking as she walked. “You’ll be holding girls up, throwing girls, and catching them. You’ll need to be flexible--”

 

“I am,” Lindsey interjected, because that was one skill she knew she had. 

 

“We’ll see about that. You’ll also need to be fast, agile, and smiling the entire time. That’s especially important for you since your resting face is kind of terrifying and Gina will be criticising you extra hard just for being a band kid.” Christa opened a door, revealing a downward staircase, and the two headed down. At the bottom of the staircase there was a nice sized basement with a couch and flatscreen on one end and what looked like a personal gym on the other end. Christa took her shoes off. “I’ll be training you down here, and you’ll also need to learn how to  _ act _ like a cheerleader. You can start acting more like yourself later, once you’re on the team, but you need to be a little mindless to get on in the first place.”

 

“Well, shit.” Lindsey said, bending down to remove her own boots. “I didn’t realise this was going to be the  _ Princess Diaries _ . I just thought I was going to have to learn some fucking cartwheels.”

 

Christa threw a pillow at Lindsey, hitting her across the face. “Rule number one: you can’t say fuck. Or shit, for that matter, but you are allowed and encouraged to call any girl you disagree with a bitch.”

 

That seemed like an asshole thing to do, but Christa knew more about how to cheerleader than Lindsey did, and so Lindsey trusted her judgement on these kind of things. She let Christa pull up a playlist on her Spotify account called  _ Girl Workout! _ and didn’t complain when the first song to come up was Peacock by Katy Perry. Lindsey was a little bit embarrassed that she even knew the song, considering that Katy Perry was kind of shitty and Lindsey tried to not listen to shitty musicians. 

 

“We’re going to start with the simpler routines so that you don’t get lost.” Christa said, and pulled Lindsey over to an empty portion of the basement room. There was a large mat there, and Lindsey wondered if Christa’s family did a lot of yoga. She’d never seen a mat that large before, except in gym class, but gym class experiences weren’t real and didn’t count for anything. Gym class was just fucking weird. 

 

Learning how to be a cheerleader proved to be hard, but Lindsey had a point to make, and she was going to make it. She felt bad for dragging Christa in and then making her promise not to say anything about it to Ray, but Lindsey needed to do this alone. She’d tell Gee and the others what was going on once she was already on the team, but she didn’t want to get her hopes up only to not make the team at all. She also didn’t want Christa to throw the tryouts somehow so that Lindsey made the team. If Lindsey wasn’t good enough to be a fake cheerleader, then she wasn’t going to be a fake cheerleader. She’d figure out another way to ruin the lives of the dickbags who had hurt her and her friends. 

 

She didn’t get home until late on Sunday, and she fell asleep almost immediately. She was exhausted from all the practicing, and she wasn’t done. She and Christa were still trying to figure out when exactly Lindsey could come over to Christa’s to work on learning the routine. Christa had cheerleading practice immediately after school, and then Lindsey had marching band practice until almost nine. At some point they needed to pretend to do their homework so that they could feel good about themselves. 

 

They texted ideas throughout the day, and decided that Lindsey would just have to live in Christa's guest bedroom until they broke Tori’s leg and the emergency tryouts happened. Christa’s parents came and picked Lindsey up at the end of band practice, taking her back to her apartment to grab an overnight bag. Lindsey’s mom wasn’t there when Lindsey grabbed her things, so she just left a note on the fridge in case her mom came back while she was still at Christa’s house. 

 

Christa’s guest bedroom was nice, but Lindsey didn’t get to go to sleep immediately because Christa dragged her down to the basement for another session of practice. They didn’t finish until midnight, and then Lindsey had to look up the SparkNotes for the book she was supposed to be reading. 

 

On Tuesday, Gee still wasn’t at school. Lindsey texted them a few times, but they hadn’t responded and she knew better than to call. Gee hated unexpected phone calls and would just ignore them, even if they knew who was calling. She couldn’t even sneak over to their house with Mikey, because she had to work on her routine with Christa after band practice. 

 

Frank got in a fight, again, and ended up having to leave the school to go get checked out at a real hospital. Of course, since he was Frank, he protested going to the hospital or having the school call his mom, but the nurse was adamant about it. That, and Frank wasn’t breathing right and the nurse didn’t want to have to tell Ms. Iero that her son died from not being able to breathe. Lindsey found Christa at her locker between classes, after Frank had been taken off to the hospital to get checked out. “We need to do the thing, now.”

 

“Lindsey, you’re not ready.” Christa insisted. Lindsey shook her head. “I don’t care. Frank had to go to the  _ hospital _ , they hurt him so badly.”

 

Christa’s mouth opened, and she covered it with her hand. “Oh my God.”

 

“I know. And the school isn’t doing anything about it. They’re just pretending all of this isn’t happening, so we need to do it, and we need to do it now.” Lindsey said. She was trying to hide it, but she was a little bit scared. Her friends were in danger, literal danger, and no one was helping. They couldn’t all just go to their parents and explain the situation; Frank wasn’t out to his mom and she didn’t know about Brendon’s situation either. She knew that Mr. and Ms. Way were accepting of Gee and Mikey, but they couldn’t do everything. They couldn’t adopt and protect all the gay kids in the band, or the school.

 

Which meant that it was up to Lindsey and Christa to destroy the heterosexuals from the inside. 

 

“Okay.” Christa nodded. “Tori always gets up early to go and get coffee, and she rides a bike to school. Tomorrow morning, we can figure out a way to knock her off her bike and break her leg, or at least her ankle, so that she has to drop the team.”

 

* * *

 

They ended up only breaking Tori’s ankle, but it was a really bad break and Lindsey felt bad. She made a mental note to get Tori a bunch of flowers or something to apologise for breaking her ankle. Lindsey worried about Tori for the entire day, and then spent her free time before band practice watching the cheerleaders to see how they reacted. She knew, logically, that she could just wait until later and then Christa would tell her everything, but she was impatient and curious and wanted to know.

 

Lindsey had also wanted to see Gina’s reaction to finding out that one of her girls was out for the season. As Christa had predicted, she was pissed. Beyond pissed, really, because she started going off on Christa and the other girls about having their sister’s backs and protecting one another on and off the mat. It was simultaneously the most cheesy and scary thing Lindsey had seen. Never before had she been afraid of a blonde girl in Soffe shorts and a ponytail. 

 

“Great, just great,” Gina was pacing back and forth and looking like an unimpressed soccer mom. “Now we have to have emergency tryouts, and we have to have them  _ tomorrow morning _ because there’s a scrimmage Friday and I promised to be there.”

 

“How are we going to have emergency tryouts tomorrow if no one knows about them?” The black haired girl from Lindsey’s math class asked. She was still wearing a lot of eyeliner. She looked annoyed. 

 

Gina crossed her arms over her chest. “Each of you call your best girl and tell her to get her butt to the gym at five tomorrow morning for the chance of a lifetime. If anyone shows up without a girl, I’m putting you on JV and grabbing one of the baby bitches instead.”

 

The girls all looked around at each other, various expressions on their faces as they took in what Gina had just said. Even Christa was getting into it, despite already having a girl to present at tryouts. Lindsey glanced down at her phone and let out a quiet, “oh fuck,” because she was late to band practice and her trombone and bag were both in the band room on the other side of the school. 

 

She ran across the school, avoiding the few teachers still there and the janitor cleaning the floors. She skidded to a halt in front of the band room doors, pausing to catch her breath and look in to see if anyone was in there. There was no one that she could see, so she opened the door and crept over to the instrument room, retrieving her trombone and then heading out to the field. Jimmy told her to get her shit together, and she stuck her tongue out at him. Gee still wasn’t there. The field felt off without them as co-drum major. 

 

* * *

 

Lindsey was going to die of sleep deprivation and she was going to die in a pair of gym shorts and ankle socks. The boring, white kind of ankle socks that always made her feet feel over heated. It was five in the morning and she was in the gym with thirteen other girls who wanted to be cheerleaders. They were all giggling with each other and fixing their hair. Lindsey was doing her best not to awkwardly dance while she waited for the actual cheerleaders to come out.

 

They did. There were three of them: Gina, Christa, and a girl with fiery orange-red hair that Lindsey saw everywhere. Her name was Hayley and she was really pretty. If Lindsey weren’t about to engage in some serious spy shit, she would totally see if Hayley Williams was into girls. Maybe later, Lindsey could pursue her for real. But for now, she needed to focus on getting on the team so that she could convince the cheerleaders to leave their subpar boyfriends and demand better treatment.

 

Gina looked angry, but she put on a huge smile and called the first girl’s name. They were going alphabetically by first name, which meant that Lindsey would be right in the middle of everything. Some of the girls were pretty good, whereas others flopped completely. One girl’s routine consisted of her doing two cartwheels and then thrusting her butt out and wiggling it suggestively. Lindsey tried not to laugh at her, because if she had had no idea what she was doing, she would have done the exact same thing.  _ If you can’t wow them with your talent, wow them with your ass,  _ she thought.

 

And then it was her turn. She took a deep breath and put on the biggest grin she could, remembering that Christa had said it was important. She focused on getting everything right while smiling and trying to look pretty. It was different from marching, because this felt more like a performance than anything else. It wasn’t like Jimmy’s attempt at a band, which had never really taken off because everyone would get there, get stoned, and then just not make music. There were also less inappropriate movements in this tryout, and a lot less fire. Lindsey wasn’t sure how she was doing, but she figured she might as well try and impress Gina and Hayley. She finished her backflip and, after securing her footing so that she wouldn’t fall over, went into a backbend, letting her bangs touch the floor of the gym. 

 

She stayed there for a few more seconds and then brought herself back up, quickly checking everyone’s faces. They looked a little impressed. Lindsey grinned bigger and finished her routine with a high kick that went better than expected. 

 

Hayley actually clapped for her, and Lindsey shot her a genuine, non-cheerleader grin. Gina had an eyebrow raised and Christa was giving Lindsey a subtle thumbs-up while writing a few notes down. Gina put on a cheerleader smile and said, “Thanks, sweetheart, you can go wait with the others on the bleachers now. We’ll let you know when we’ve decided who made it.”

 

“Okie doke.” Lindsey said, still smiling and acting like she was really awake at ass o’clock in the morning. She headed over to the bleachers, breathing hard and sweating more than was comfortable. At least the other girls were all sweaty and gross as well, and she wouldn’t feel too out of place. 

 

It took another thirty minutes before Gina, Hayley, and Christa came over to the bleachers to announce who it was. Christa was smiling, genuinely smiling, and so Lindsey assumed that she had made it on the team. That made things easier. 

 

“Okay, girls, you all did wonderful, but we only needed one replacement so thirteen of you are going to have to go back to class looking like failures.” Gina said. She had a clipboard in her hand. She glanced down at it. “Our replacement base girl will be Lindsey Ballato. Congrats on making the team, Lindsey!”

 

The smile was fake, but Lindsey didn’t care. She beamed down at the three girls, looking like this was her only goal in life. It wasn’t; it was just one of many, leading up to something big and probably not well thought out. Lindsey didn’t care, though. She just wanted the best for Gee and her other friends. 

 

Gina smiled up at her, but it felt like she was being looked down upon anyway. “Sweetie, you know you can’t do band  _ and _ cheerleading, right? If you want to be a part of this, you’re going to have to get rid of all your band things. Including your friends.”

 

Lindsey dropped her smile. “What do you mean, get rid of them?”

 

“You can’t associate with  _ band people _ if you’re going to be a cheerleader.” Gina stage whispered, like it was something obvious that Lindsey should have known anyway. Gina folded her arms over her chest. “Look, it’s cute that you want to stay loyal to your old friends or whatever, but we have an image to keep up, and that image doesn’t include weird band people. So, if you want to really be a part of this squad, you can’t talk with your band friends.”

 

“Ever?” Lindsey asked, ready to fight Gina and then leave. 

 

Hayley stepped in. “Not forever, just during football season. We’re a very focused squad, and it’s hard to stay focused when you’re involved in overlapping extracurriculars, you know? You can still be friends with them, of course, just… try not to hang out with them too much.”

 

“That sounds kind of controlling.” Lindsey said. Hayley shrugged. “Hey, I have to give up most of my homecoming duties to get ready for competitions. Sarah--one of the other girls on the squad--is in drama and she can’t have a major part in the fall play because drama rehearsal conflicts with practice.”

 

“Oh.” Lindsey said. It still felt like a little extra, but if it would make her seem like she was a real cheerleader, she’d do it. She didn’t want to think about how Gee would feel when they came back and she wasn’t there. She’d just disappeared without an explanation; she hadn’t even told Ray when he asked, and Christa had agreed to keep the plan between the two of them. Gee would probably assume the worst. Lindsey felt like a dick, but what she was doing was for the greater good. She was getting leverage over the guys who had hurt Gee, and she would use it against those guys as soon as she could. 

 

* * *

 

Lindsey was working on an art project on Friday night, not thinking about her band friends or how she was still sore from all the cheer practicing. The scrimmage had been cancelled last minute for some reason that Lindsey didn’t care about, and so the extra intensive cheer practice had been for nothing. 

 

Lindsey sighed. This was hard work. She didn’t know how to bond with these girls. She didn’t know how Christa could do it, because Christa got along with Lindsey and with Catlynn, who was the ditziest person Lindsey had ever met. She also knew a lot about makeup, not that Gina had ever asked Catlynn for advice on how to do makeup because Gina thought she knew everything. It was kind of annoying, and Lindsey had only been to one official practice.

 

There was a loud knock on the door to her apartment, and Lindsey sat up. There was more knocking, and then a faint giggling, and Lindsey frowned. She got up and walked over to the peephole to see Hayley and Catlynn on the other side, dressed in short shorts and crop tops and looking a little giddy. Lindsey was in jeans and a paint spattered t-shirt that smelled like pot and had originally been Gee’s. She was also not wearing a bra because it was a Friday evening and she didn’t think she would be needing a bra any time soon. 

 

She was wrong.

 

Lindsey opened the door with a smile. “Hey guys, how’d you find out where I live?”

 

“Christa drove us!” Catlynn said excitedly. As usual, her makeup was done perfectly, and her strawberry blonde hair was let down, falling over one shoulder. She was pretty, but she wasn’t Lindsey’s type. Years of being interested in girls had trained Lindsey’s brain to not be attracted to girls who looked straight. Her gaydar (which was a dumb word) was pretty accurate at this point in life. She just had to hope she could convince a dozen supposedly straight girls to delve into the wonderful world of lesbianism (or bisexuality, whatever floated their boats). 

 

“Why did Christa drive you?” Lindsey asked. 

 

“There’s a party at Ellen’s house.” Hayley said, looking straight at Lindsey. Lindsey couldn’t tell if her gaydar or please-be-gaydar was going off, but there was definitely something. She was glad that she and Christa had decided to use Hayley as the cover story for Lindsey joining the cheer squad. Hayley was cute. Hayley stuck her thumbs in the waistband of her shorts and bounced on her toes. “Since you’re new, we thought it would be cool to have an initiation party. Don’t worry, though, you won’t be hazed and you won’t be the center of attention.”

 

“There will be cute guys there, though.” Catlynn smiled. “ _ Lots _ of cute guys!”

 

_ She has no idea I’m a lesbian. _ Lindsey thought. She didn’t say anything, though. She could out herself later, when she had a better idea as to the girls’ opinions on gay people. Lindsey wanted to fix the situation, not make it worse because she couldn’t keep her gay mouth shut. “Sounds cool. Let me get something to wear, though. I don't have a bra on.”

 

“Oh, I wish I could do that, but my boobs are too big, you know?” Catlynn said, looking severely disappointed. “My mom says I'll get back problems if I go without a bra too much. But that's cool that you can do it.”

 

“Yeah.” Lindsey said, because she didn't know what else to say about that. She pointed back inside her apartment. “So, I'm gonna go change. If you two want to just wait inside or whatever that's cool. I won't take too long, I promise.”

 

“Aren't you going to need to put on makeup?” Hayley asked. Lindsey paused. She hadn't thought about this very well. She could show up at one of Brendon's parties with no makeup on and no one would question it, because they were all friends and they had all seen each other sweaty and gross and in desperate need of a shower. These girls, however, hadn't seen Lindsey like that. They were also popular, and went to parties not hosted by Brendon Urie, and had actual social lives that they could brag about on social media. Lindsey didn't have that. She just had an Instagram to post the art projects she made, and that only had about twenty followers. She wasn't cool, or popular. She was going to have to put makeup on at nine in the evening on a Friday. 

 

It didn't take her long, and she opted to wear her hair down because but Catlynn and Hayley were doing it and she figured she couldn't go wrong if she just copied the other girls. Once she was done, she grabbed a purse, her keys, phone, and a tube of lipstick just in case and followed Hayley and Catlynn out to Christa's car. They blasted Beyoncé all the way to the party, which was in a nice house in the same neighbourhood that Pete Wentz and Patrick Stump lived in. They passed by Patrick's house on the way to the party, and Lindsey wondered what he was doing. 

 

Lindsey and Patrick weren't super close, but he was best friends with Pete and Pete was dating Mikey now so she figured that they had to be friends in some way. 

 

The party house was lit up and there were cheers coming from inside. Lindsey made a questioning face at Christa, who shrugged and said, “someone probably started doing body shots or something.”

 

“Oh my God, body shots are so fun!” Catlynn clapped her hands, bouncing up and down beside Lindsey. Lindsey was beginning to think that the hyper happy fairy act wasn't just an act. Catlynn was this cheery all the time, just because that was her personality. Catlynn grabbed Lindsey’s wrist as Christa parked the car. “Hannah is  _ so _ good at them, oh my God. It's like she has a really strong tongue or something, I don't know.”

 

“Lindsey has a strong tongue.” Christa said. Lindsey narrowed her eyes at Christa and sat on her fingers so she wouldn't flip her off in front of Hayley and Catlynn. Christa made an innocent face. “What? You said you did.”

 

“I implied that I did.” Lindsey corrected her. “There's a difference.”

 

“Sure, Lynz.. Whatever helps you through the day.” Christa said. She shut off the car and turned around so that she could see everyone else. “Are we going to join this party or not?”

 

“We’re joining it!” Hayley said, and she was the first one out of the car. Catlynn was right behind her, but she kept leaning back into the car to make sure that Lindsey and Christa were actually getting out. They were, but Catlynn didn’t think that they were moving fast enough and kept pestering them to move faster, complete with a cute little pout on her face. They did, and they walked in a clump into the house. It was weird. Lindsey didn't always walk places with other people, but it seemed like these other three girls weren't going to let her out of their sight. She’d been in a diverse friend group for so long that she’d forgotten that most girls travelled in packs. 

 

Hayley pulled them all into the kitchen to get drinks, and Lindsey settled for a can of beer because she didn’t know what was in the punch bowl and she didn’t want to get completely drunk around a bunch of people that she didn’t know.

 

Catlynn’s eyes widened as Lindsey opened the can of beer and took a sip from it. Lindsey swiped her tongue across her lips. “What? Is there something on my face?”

 

“You drink  _ beer? _ ” Catlynn asked as Hayley and Christa returned with their cups filled with punch. Hayley handed a cup to Catlynn, who gave her a warm smile in response. She took a sip and turned back to Lindsey. “Don’t you know how many calories are in that?”

 

“I’ve never checked.” Lindsey said, because she hadn’t, and it wasn’t like she drank nothing but beer. She didn’t even go to a party every weekend, because Brendon didn’t throw parties every weekend, only when the band had done something exceptional or he felt like it. “And I don’t really think it matters. We’re working out for multiple hours every day; don’t we  _ need _ calories to survive?”

 

“Yeah, but, like, only the good calories.” Catlynn said. Lindsey looked over to Christa, silently asking her if she had any idea what Catlynn was talking about. Christa took a pointed sip from her drink and raised her eyebrows at Lindsey, the universal sign for  _ you're on your own, good luck buddy.  _ Lindsey frowned. “Calories aren't good or bad, they're just measures of energy.”

 

Catlynn tapped her finger against her lower lip. “That's not what Gina said. She said that, like, carb calories were bad and we couldn't eat them unless we wanted to get fat.”

 

“Well, she's wrong about that. Two of my friends have nurses for moms.” Lindsey said. Catlynn grinned. “Really? So I can drink beer if I want to?”

 

“You can do whatever you want to.” Christa said. “Despite what she thinks, she doesn't control your life.”

 

“Oh, well,” Catlynn put the cup to her lips and then downed the entire thing without wincing. Lindsey was impressed. Catlynn smiled. “Hand me a beer, then.”

 

“You sure you want to get drunk  _ this _ early in the night?” Hayley asked, looking a little concerned. Lindsey wasn’t. She didn’t know what was in the punch, of course, and didn’t know that party punch tended to be a cocktail of whatever the host could find in their house. She also wasn’t worried because Catlynn wasn’t worried, and Lindsey wrongly assumed that everyone knew their alcohol limits and respected them. She was not used to popular people culture at all. 

 

“It’s a shitty party anyway, no offense, Lindsey.” Catlynn said. “But, like, the guys always pull out Guitar Hero or whatever and then they never do anything but play it.”

 

“I can play Guitar Hero.” Lindsey said. Christa brought her cup up to her mouth and took a long drink. Lindsey figured that she shouldn’t have said that, because she was now in a world where girls didn’t play video games and playing video games of any kind made a person uncool. She forgot that there was a gender binary in the real world sometimes, and that her marching band friend group was not a good example of what high schoolers were like. 

 

Hayley looked interested, though. “Really? They're probably setting up in Ellen’s game room downstairs. I've never played anything other than the singer part, but do you want to go try?”

 

“Hell yeah,” Lindsey said, hoping that the guys down there would be dicks and that she could show off in front of a cute girl. Hayley grabbed her hand and motioned for Catlynn and Christa to follow. Christa grabbed a beer from the ice bucket. “I've never seen a girl play Guitar Hero.”

 

“I'm going to go look for some of our other friends, but you three have fun.” Christa said. For a moment, Lindsey panicked because Christa was the only person that she really knew and she was afraid of doing this party thing without Christa guiding her from the background. Lindsey then realised that Christa was her own person and didn't exist just to help Lindsey out whenever she needed something done. So Lindsey gripped Hayley's hand tighter and let herself be led down to the entertainment room where, sure enough, there was a small group of guys setting up a bunch of plastic guitars and a fake drum kit. 

 

There was also a girl sitting on the couch and looking bored. Lindsey recognised her as Alicia from math class. Alicia from math class didn't look up as Lindsey, Catlynn, and Hayley came up to the boys. Hayley still had a hand around Lindsey's wrist when she tugged her forward. “Hey, guys, mind if we play a round?”

 

“Oh, please, like you cheerleader bitches could do anything but look pretty. I bet you wouldn't recognise any of the songs on here.” One of the guys said. Lindsey stepped forward and crossed her arms over her chest. “You really wanna make bets? Because I'll put ten dollars on kicking your ass at any song on this game.”

 

One of the other guys laughed at her. “Ah, man, Alicia. You're out of a job now. They got a new goth slut to make the team seem ‘diverse’ and ‘inclusive’.”

 

“Fuck off, Jackson.” Alicia said in a monotone voice. Lindsey walked over to one of the abandoned guitars and picked it up. She stared the first guy down. “So, are we betting or not?”

 

“Yeah, sure.” He rolled his eyes. “I'll even let you choose the songs, sweetie.”

 

“Don't call me sweetie.” Lindsey said. She let Jackson finish setting up the game and then she handed the other guy a guitar. In the light of the screen, she could tell who he was, and she knew she needed to kick his ass. He had been one of the guys who beat up on Frank and Gee, the one who had thrown Frank against a locker and then shoved him inside. Lindsey wanted to personally destroy him, and not just at Guitar Hero. She even let him choose the first song (it was a Ramones song so at least the dick didn't have horrible taste). She kicked his ass, but it wasn't super memorable, and so she asked him if he wanted a rematch. Angrily, he agreed. He called for best out of three, saying she could choose the last song if she beat him in the next round. 

 

Of course, he picked the hardest song to play. Unfortunately for him, Lindsey was friends with Ray Toro and Frank Iero, both of whom cared way too much about guitars. She beat him, barely, and smiled up at him. They were almost at the same height, because Lindsey had opted to wear her heeled boots so as to make herself look more party ready than she really was. She raised her chin, doing her best to look both menacing and innocent at the same time. She was pretty sure she failed, because Lindsey was the worst at pretending to be innocent in any situation. Lindsey hadn't been innocent since sixth grade when she shaved her head and discovered girls (not in that particular order). “So, my turn to choose the song?”

 

“Yeah, fine.” The guy rolled his eyes. “Whatever, princess.”

 

“I Love Rock And Roll.” Lindsey said, and began scrolling for the song. Jackson laughed at her. “That's cute, baby girl, but this isn't rock and roll. This is a game. You're not a real rockstar.”

 

“I know.” Lindsey said, shooting him a glare because she had no patience for men. “I meant that's the song I'm choosing. Now step back, and let me show you what a  _ real _ rockstar looks like.”

 

And so she did. Lindsey fucking loved Joan Jett, and could play this song blindfolded. She was so good that she could thrash around and make a real stage performance out of it, which she did. She usually tried to avoid hitting the people she was playing against, but this guy had been an asshole to her friends so she didn’t feel bad about spinning around and kicking him with the heel of her boot. She finished with a perfect score, of course, because she  _ knew _ how to play that song, and when she was done, she pushed her hair away from her face and faced her opponent. He was staring down at her with a look of disbelief on his face.

 

“You’re welcome.” She said to him, and then turned to Jackson, who had been laughing at her earlier. She extended her plastic guitar to him. “You wanna try next, sweetheart, or do you still think cheerleaders can’t kick ass?”

 

“You just got lucky, and John sucks at that song.” Jackson said, scowling now as he snatched the guitar from her. Lindsey knew he was just bitter, though, and felt really proud of herself. As she turned away from the two guys, she noticed that a nice sized crowd of people had shown up during her Guitar Hero session with dick head (whose real name was apparently John). She noticed a familiar head of curls in the dimly lit crowd, and realised that it was Ray. And he was watching her, which meant that he hadn’t just come to hang out with Christa. Internally, Lindsey swore. She couldn’t just ignore him, because Ray was a patient mother fucker sometimes and she knew he’d just wait around until she came over and talked to him. 

 

Lindsey excused herself from the guys with a remark that was meant to be scathing but was really just an empty threat, and headed over to Ray. She knew she wasn’t supposed to be talking to her old band friends now that she was playing cheerleader, but this had to be an exception. Ray was too stubborn to just walk away. Lindsey just hoped that he wouldn’t try and make a scene and that she could get away with talking to him for a few minutes. 

 

* * *

 

The girls were all in the locker room after school on Friday, before their first official home game. Lindsey was in one corner with Christa and Hayley, who had turned out to be both cute and interesting to talk to, which was always a bonus. The other girls were all getting changed and Lindsey was minding her own business in the corner because she was not a creepy person and she didn’t get any enjoyment out of watching girls change their clothes. 

 

“Wait, Lindsey, have you ever given a blowjob?” Ellen asked from the other side of the room. Lindsey looked up, not wearing her cheerleader top yet and very, very confused. “What?”

 

“I’m not judging you if you have, oh my God.” Ellen rolled her eyes. “It’s just that, like, you’re the only person I haven’t asked sex stuff about yet, because you’re new.”

 

“Well, I’ve never given a blowjob, but I have had sex and had some really nice orgasms, if that’s what you’re looking for.” Lindsey said. She wasn’t sure why she said it. Ellen’s question just threw her off guard. Ellen, as well as most of the other girls, was staring at her like there was something on her face. Lindsey suddenly wished she was fully clothed and not in a locker room. “Did I say something wrong?”

 

“Girls can't have real orgasms, though.” Gina said. “That's just a myth.”

 

“No, girls can have orgasms.” Lindsey said. Internally, though, she was feeling so much pity for these girls and their thoughtless, heterosexual boyfriends. Christa had no idea how lucky she was to be dating someone like Ray, who actually cared about his partner and saw her as more than some kind of cute sex toy to jerk off onto. 

 

Hayley was staring at Lindsey curiously. “I don't think I've ever had one. How do you know if you have an orgasm?”

 

“I.” Lindsey sputtered out, because this was starting to look like that really dumb porn she, Gee, Frank, and Ray had watched when Ray first got his own laptop in seventh grade. That was the only porn Lindsey had ever watched, because she found out that the porn industry was shitty as fuck not long after watching a bunch of girls moan and grind against each other in a locker room. She quickly removed all thoughts of porn from her head. “Well, you just kind of  _ know  _ when it happens. It's kind of obvious. It takes a while the first time, but after that it's not that hard to get yourself off.”

 

“Wow,” Catlynn was looking at Lindsey like Lindsey was a literal goddess and Lindsey wondered if Catlynn was gay and just didn't know it yet. “You should start, like, a blog or something for girls and sex tips.”

 

“Thanks?” Lindsey said. She wasn't sure what else to say. The girls were still staring at her. She picked up her shirt and put it on over her head. “Have any of you had an orgasm, ever?”

  
There was a chorus of “no,” and then Christa’s small little “yeah” echoing after. Lindsey shook her head, but she was smiling to herself because she knew what she was going to do now. “Oh, wow, you guys are all missing out.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Please leave a kudo or comment if you enjoyed!


	6. Lindsey, part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lindsey gets gay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: NSFW f/f content. And a lot of it.
> 
> Sorry this took so long, but it's the longest chapter I have ever written and I had to write it during exams. Exams are over, though, so here's the final chapter!

**Alicia**

 

Alicia Simmons turned out to be kind of cool. She smoked weed with college students on Sundays. She had a tattoo and was willing to take Lindsey to get one at some point. She skipped class a lot because she didn’t care about school at all. She had rich parents who didn’t watch over her and gave her a lot of freedom. She didn’t have boyfriends, she had guys who she fucked. She was really good at dramatic makeup and had some nice brands. She was willing to drive Lindsey to the mall so that they could shoplift or buy whatever they wanted.

 

She was also the first person, aside from Christa, to find out that Lindsey was gay. Lindsey told her while they were in a dressing room, similar to how Gee had come out as trans to Lindsey less than a year ago. Alicia had a black sequined tank top in one hand and the laces of her shoe in the other. She didn’t even pause when Lindsey said, “So, you should probably know that I’m gay. Like, a lesbian and shit.”

 

Alicia popped her gum. “That’s cool. Tori was bi. I’ve never messed around with girls but I wouldn’t say no if you wanted to try something.”

 

Lindsey stared at her. “Seriously?”

 

“Yeah, sure, why not?” Alicia kicked her shoe off and it hit the wall. “Just so you know, though, I’m not a long term kind of girl.”

 

“I’m not either.” Lindsey said. “I’m actually trying to date Hayley, but don’t tell her I said that. It would ruin my image as the mysterious new girl.”

 

“I got you.” Alicia said, and winked. Lindsey decided that Alicia was her second favourite cheerleader, Christa being the first. Alicia stood up, only in a thong and a bra, and looked Lindsey up and down. Lindsey paused, feeling awkward under so much scrutiny. Alicia grinned at her, like a cat stalking it’s prey. “You know what would be really fun?”

 

“...what?” Lindsey asked cautiously.

 

Alicia moved over so that she was straddling Lindsey on the small changing room chair. She placed her hands on Lindsey’s shoulders and shook her hair back away from her face. “If we fucked each other here, where anyone could hear us.”

 

Lindsey stared at her. “Are you serious?”

 

Alicia nodded. “Yeah. It would be the highlight of most of these women’s weekends. Besides, getting people off in public is kind of my thing. It could be yours too, if you wanted to be.”

 

“Sure, why not,” Lindsey said, putting her hands on Alicia’s upper thighs and raising her up so that her crotch was in front of Lindsey’s face. She pulled at Alicia’s thong with her teeth. “But let me teach you first.”

 

“Whatever makes you feel good, girl.” Alicia purred, running her fingers through Lindsey’s hair. Lindsey pulled Alicia’s underwear down to her thighs. This was going to be a story for future games of Never Have I Ever.

 

* * *

 

**Hannah**

 

It turned out that Hannah lived near Lindsey’s apartment complex. Hannah lived in an actual house, though. It was small but cute, if houses could actually be cute. The two had found out that they were in the same history class just in time to pair up for a project. Lindsey wasn’t the best at history (she usually relied on Frank or Ray and their weird knowledge of everything historical), and neither was Hannah, but the time at her house allowed for Lindsey to bond with her.

 

It turned out that Hannah thought she was straight but had a surprising amount of gay cousins. Her older brother, who was in college in Vermont, was also gay. Hannah was the second girl on the team that Lindsey came out to, and was given a warm hug in response. Hannah gave good hugs. “Even if the rest of the team are bitches to you because they think you’re creeping on them, I know I won’t. I do my best to be a good ally, and if I  _ ever _ do anything rude or offensive, just let me know.”

 

Lindsey hugged her back. “Thanks. But, if you’re so pro-gay then why don’t you try to get a GSA started? I know the band’s thought about it a few times, but most of the gay kids are already in band so we didn’t think it was worth it.”

 

“I want to, but Gina says we can’t involve ourselves with anything like that.” Hannah said, and the two girls pulled back from their hug. Hannah rolled her eyes. “She says they’re too political and will give the squad a bad reputation. I think that sounds like thinly veiled homophobia.”

 

“I wouldn’t be surprised if it was, to be honest.” Lindsey couldn’t help but agree. The more she learned about Gina, the more she disliked her, and Lindsey tried not to hate any girl. Boys, she had no problem hating. Most boys were gross assholes anyway. Girls, however, weren’t. Sure, society made them feel like they had to be bitchy and competitive all the time, but once they got past all the societal bullshit, they were pretty great. 

 

Hannah shrugged and tossed her hair over her shoulder. “It’s whatever. She’s in charge, so we just have to do whatever she says.”

 

“I mean, you don’t  _ have _ to.” Lindsey suggested. Hannah looked up at her with a perfectly trimmed eyebrow arched high. “Honey, you have been on this team for two weeks. You don’t know how much of a controlling bitch Gina can be, and you don’t know how easily she will ruin your life if you don’t listen to her.”

 

Lindsey stared at her. This was starting to sound like something from _ Mean Girls _ . “That sounds a lot like the plot of  _ Mean Girls _ .”

 

“Maybe, but you’re not Lindsay Lohan.” Hannah crossed her arms over her chest. Lindsey swayed her feet gently over the side of the bed. “I could be. If you and the others wanted to stage a coup or something.”

 

“You’re not. Trust me.” Hannah said. “You’re closer to the lesbian friend, and not just because you’re a lesbian.”

 

“Didn’t the lesbian friend turn out  _ not _ to be a lesbian?” Lindsey asked. She was pretty sure she knew what she was talking about, considering that she’d seen the movie about a million times. For some reason, it was the marching band’s favourite movie to watch whenever they had about two hours to kill and a TV screen available. 

 

Lindsey turned out to be right, because Hannah pulled up the Wikipedia page and found out for certain about the lesbian friend (whose name was Janis). After that, the two girls went back to working on their history project, and continued until Hannah’s mom came to the door and asked if Lindsey was going to stay for dinner. Lindsey and Hannah made eye contact, and then Lindsey said that she really should be heading back. “My mom’s probably waiting for me, and I don’t want her to get worried.”

 

That was a lie. Lindsey’s mom had left the apartment last night at around one in the morning, and Lindsey had made the usual calls before going back to bed and wishing that her mom could just get better already. Lindsey knew better than to think that her wishes would come true, because mental illness didn’t just get better over night. She didn’t mention that, and turned down Hannah’s mom’s offer to drive her back. It was a short enough walk back to her own apartment, and Lindsey got there long before sundown.

 

She went back to Hannah’s house after cheer practice on Monday. Hannah let Lindsey use her shower to get the sweat and makeup off, and Lindsey took the offer. Showers were nice. Probably the nicest thing in the world, aside from napping with friends. Showers with other people were also pretty great, but only when Lindsey wasn’t trying to clean herself off.

 

She finished her shower and towelled off, changing into the clothes she had worn to school, and not the gym clothes she’d worn at cheer practice. Jeans and a t-shirt were a lot more comfortable than short shorts and a tank top. Lindsey was always afraid that her tank top would do something dumb and she’d end up flashing her bra to everyone. Lindsey had no issue with shirts that showed off her bra if that was their intention, because she had two bras that were cool looking and could be shown off. 

 

When she came out of Hannah’s bathroom, her hair still dripping because she didn’t know if she was allowed to use the hairdryer or not, Hannah was sitting on the edge of her bed and looking nervous. Lindsey leaned against the door frame. “Are you okay?”

 

Hannah wound a curl of hair around her finger. “So, remember when you were talking about having orgasms and, like, no one else had had one?”

 

Lindsey’s life was paralleling every bad porno she had heard about. She crossed her arms over her chest and decided to just go with it. “Yeah?”

 

“Um, any chance you could show me?” Hannah asked, continuing to look very nervous. Part of Lindsey felt bad for her and how awkward she had to be feeling then. The other part of Lindsey was laughing her ass off because this situation was too ridiculous to be real. Hannah pulled her legs up onto the bed, making herself smaller. “You don’t have to, if you don’t want to, or if you’re uncomfortable or whatever. And I don’t want you to think that I’m only asking you because you’re gay and I have, like, a warped perspective on what gay people are willing to do. Because I don’t. I just trust you not to make a big deal about it, whether we… have sex… or not.”

 

“Don’t worry.” Lindsey shrugged. “I’m down for casual sex.”

 

Hannah’s eyes widened. “Really?”

 

“Yeah, sure.” Lindsey said, standing up straight. “So, do you want it on the bed or in the shower? I can do either.”

 

* * *

 

**Sophie**

 

Lindsey didn’t come out to Sophie. Sophie found out that Lindsey was gay, because Sophie knew all the gossip and wasn’t afraid of letting people know that she knew their secrets. She didn’t have a lot of tact about it, either, because she waited until Lindsey was in nothing but a sports bra and underwear before mentioning it.

 

“So how many girls have you kissed?” Sophie asked. She was fully changed, and Lindsey had her shirt over her head. She couldn’t see anything, but she recognised Sophie’s voice easily enough. Sophie never shut up. Lindsey didn’t know how she knew everyone’s secrets. 

 

Lindsey pulled her shirt the rest of the way down so that she could see and so that her chest was no longer exposed. “A lot. Why do you care?”

 

“Does that make you a slut like Alicia, or is there another term for girls who kiss a lot of girls?” Sophie was standing with her arms folded over her chest and looking very smug. Like she thought she was getting to Lindsey by calling her a slut. Lindsey grabbed her denim skirt and put it on before answering, as well as her boots, knowing that  _ she _ was getting to Sophie by ignoring her. She also fixed her hair into pigtails before turning to the red-haired girl. “First of all, sluts aren’t a real thing, and second of all, I’m allowed to kiss whoever I want without it being any of your business.”

 

Sophie made a face. “Oh, am I making you upset? Little Miss Lindsey can’t handle a few questions?”

 

“I can handle all the questions.” Lindsey said. She grabbed her bag and slung it over one shoulder. “I mean, I answered the two questions you asked me. What more did you want?”

 

“I want you to admit that you’re a gay, lesbian slut.” Sophie said, crossing her arms tighter so that her boobs appeared to grow larger. Lindsey wondered if Sophie used that on guys she flirted with. Straight guys were dumb. They would probably fall for that. 

 

“Gay and lesbian are the same things, buddy.” Lindsey said. She put on both straps of her backpack and then picked up her cheerleading bag. She had to catch a ride home with Hannah, and she didn’t want to make Hannah or her mom wait. She gave Sophie a small wave as she walked towards the door. As she exited, Lindsey said over her shoulder, “and, yeah, I’m a gay lesbian slut, but I don’t have a problem with it and neither should you. See you tomorrow.”

 

Lindsey did see Sophie tomorrow. Sophie looked irritated, and was whispering things into everyone’s ear during practice like she was spreading conspiracy theories to the rest of the cheerleading squad. Lindsey did her best to ignore Sophie, because Lindsey had (mostly) convinced herself that she didn’t care what Sophie thought about her sexual activities. 

 

After practice, though, Sophie cornered Lindsey again. “You know the whole team thinks you’re a slut, right?”

 

“No, but thanks for the update.” Lindsey said, restraining herself from rolling her eyes at Sophie. This girl just didn’t know when to give up. Lindsey didn’t care if she was called a slut. She’d been called worse for doing less. Lindsey gave Sophie a smile that was not at all nice. “But next time, let people form their own opinions, instead of forcing your ideas down their throat.”

 

“I didn’t tell them.” Sophie insisted. Lindsey just stared at her, because Lindsey knew a liar when she saw one. Lindsey lied; she knew what it looked like on another person. Sophie let out a huff. “I didn’t. You’re just being a bitch because you’re scared they’ll all hate you. All you want is to be accepted here. Well, sweetie, good luck with that. You’re just a dykey band kid skank, and no one is going to want to be around you after I’m done here.”

 

“You don’t scare me.” Lindsey said, and walked over so that she was close to Sophie. Lindsey was about a half foot taller than her, and looked pretty fucking intimidating, even with her cheerleader makeup. “You’re just really annoying.”

 

“And you’re just sleeping your way through this squad!” Sophie said, bouncing up on her toes to try and get on Lindsey’s level. “You’re the reason no one trusts gay people! You’re nasty, and a slut!”

 

“You keep calling me that, and I still don’t see it as an insult.” Lindsey said. If this were any other situation, she would have broken Sophie’s nose by now. Lindsey didn’t let people say homophobic shit like that, but she had to get on the squad’s side. Punching their second best flyer would be a bad decision. Lindsey couldn’t afford to make any bad decisions. Gee’s well-being was on the line. Lindsey took a deep breath and put on a smile. “And you shouldn’t be calling gay people nasty, not when there are more on your own team.”

 

“I wasn’t calling gay people nasty.” She said, backing away from Lindsey. Lindsey took a step forward. She raised an eyebrow. “Really? Because that’s what it sounded like.”

 

“I didn’t mean it like that. I just… you can’t go around sleeping with everyone!  _ That’s  _ what’s nasty, not you being a gay lesbian.” Sophie said, continuing to step backwards. Lindsey was cornering her, unintentionally, but it was too interesting to stop. The nosy, pushy Sophie, getting backed into a corner by the quirky new girl on the squad. It was a pretty cool feeling, being in control. Turning the tide and making the offender get on the defensive. 

 

“So, do you slut shame everyone, or is that just part of the initiation?” Lindsey said. Sophie’s back hit a locker. Lindsey stood in front of her with her legs shoulder width apart, in a power pose. “Or is it something else entirely? I’m getting a lot of attention, being new and all. You were the squad’s favourite before I existed. So, Little Miss Sophie, are you jealous that you’re not everyone’s favourite anymore?”

 

“No,” Sophie said quietly. Lindsey raised an eyebrow. “No, you’re not jealous of me?”

 

“I’m not jealous of you.” Sophie said, her voice still quiet and small. “I’m jealous of the other girls. Why’d you pick them over me? Am I not pretty? Am I, like, unfuckable or something? Why haven’t you tried anything with me?”

 

Lindsey paused, furrowing her eyebrows. “Wait. You want me to give you an orgasm?”

 

Sophie blushed through her makeup and nodded, staring down at her feet. Lindsey tilted her chin up and kissed her softly on the lips. She trailed a hand down to Sophie’s waist, being gentle and calm because she figured that was what Sophie needed at the moment. Lindsey pressed herself against the smaller girl and whispered in her ear. “The showers will have more privacy, and I needed to clean off anyway.”

 

“But, what about my makeup?” Sophie said, gasping a little as Lindsey slipped her hand up under Sophie’s shirt. “It’ll get ruined.”

 

“I’ve done this before, Sophie, and let me tell you,” Lindsey pulled away from Sophie’s neck, staring her down. “Your makeup is gonna get ruined regardless of where we do this.”

 

* * *

 

**Sarah**

 

Lindsey woke up to the sound of her phone ringing. With her eyes half-closed, she rolled off the mattress and started digging through her fallen art supplies to try and find it. It stopped ringing before she could get to it, but she saw that Sarah had been the one to call her. It was a Saturday night. Lindsey had just gotten back from a party at Catlynn’s house. Sarah hadn’t been there, and Gina had been complaining about her all night so Lindsey had left early with a drunk Hannah. Said Hannah was currently sleeping on the other side of Lindsey’s mattress and Lindsey was trying not to wake her up. 

 

She left the bedroom, phone in hand, and called Sarah back. Just in case it wasn’t just a drunk dial and Sarah needed something.

 

“Hey, Lindsey,” Sarah said, loudly. There was weird music playing in the background. It wasn’t anything Lindsey was used to listening to, nor was it popular kid music, so Lindsey wasn’t sure what to make of it. She leaned against the wall. “Hey, why’d you call?”

 

“I’m at a drama party, and it’s kind of boring!” Sarah continued to shout through the phone. “Can you come and either pick me up or help me make it interesting?”

 

Lindsey pressed a hand to her forehead. This was ridiculous. She just wanted to go to sleep. She knew he she had to do something, though, because Sarah would just keep calling people until someone responded and Gina had already been complaining about how much time Sarah was spending with the drama people and how she needed to either get back into cheerleading or just quit the team already.

 

Lindsey wouldn’t tell Gina about this, because Lindsey didn’t like Gina at all and didn’t care about sucking up to her. She couldn’t say the same thing about the other girls, though. So many of them were afraid of Gina, just because Gina was loud and pretty and blonde and controlling.

 

So Lindsey snatched Hannah’s keys and took Hannah’s car to the party. Lindsey knew where the party was because one of the things that came with being a cheerleader was knowing about all the social gatherings. It didn’t matter if she would be going to them or not, she knew about them. The entire cheerleading squad knew about them. 

 

For example, last Saturday, Brendon Urie had hosted a band party that the cheerleading squad had called lame and had banned anyone from going. Christa had gone. Lindsey had not, because she couldn't risk it. She was still trying to get on the girls’ good sides, which was a lot harder than she had imagined. She figured that they’d accept her as soon as she put on a smile and understood all the pop culture references they made, but it was a lot more than that. Apparently, she’d made a reputation as a freaky band kid, and she had to dispel that. She also had to dispel the rumour that she’d slept with all the guys in marching band. 

 

The lights were on, but dimly, and there wasn’t any loud, bass-heavy music coming out of the house as Lindsey drove up. She parked down the street and walked up, her boots loud against the pavement. The door was unlocked, and she let herself in. Immediately, she was handed a drink and told to enjoy herself.

 

The entire house smelled of weed. No wonder Brendon hung out with the drama kids all the time. They had the good shit. 

 

When Lindsey finally did find Sarah, it was obvious that she was very drunk and not actually bored with the party. Sarah grinned and slung an arm around Lindsey, pulling her down into the chair. The chair wasn’t meant for two people, but Sarah was too out of it to care. She leaned over and whispered into Lindsey’s ear. “You wanna go somewhere more, like, intimate?”

 

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” Lindsey said. Sarah giggled. “Don’t be silly, we don’t have to go upstairs. I just want to hang out with you, get to know you better. We’re teammates now. We have to be friends, you know?”

 

“Uh, sure.” Lindsey said. She helped Sarah up and then let the girl lead her away from the other party people, into a room where the lights were off and they were alone. Lindsey wasn’t sure if she liked where this was going. She was all for hooking up with pretty girls at parties, but Sarah was obviously drunk, and Lindsey didn’t want to make her do something she wouldn’t be willing to do sober. That just wasn’t right. 

 

Sarah put a hand on Lindsey’s lower stomach. “So I heard you like kissing girls.”

 

“You’re not wrong.” Lindsey said, moving Sarah’s hand away. Sarah leaned in anyway, getting a leg between Lindsey’s and putting her hands on Lindsey’s hips. “Do you wanna make out? Or hook up or whatever? I’ve never told anyone this, but I’m pretty sure I’m, like, not straight. Girls are really pretty. You’re really pretty.”

 

“Thanks, really, but we probably shouldn't be doing this here.” Lindsey said. Sarah leaned in further and nuzzled against Lindsey's neck. “Why not? Everyone knows you came over to get with me; they're not going to come interrupt us or anything.”

 

Lindsey leaned away. “Yeah, but. You're drunk.”

 

“And?” Sarah asked, leaning in again. It was like a weird game of straight chicken. “People do drunk hookups all the time. Why should we be any different?”

 

“Because we're not both drunk and I don't want to take advantage of you.” Lindsey said. She managed to pull Sarah back, holding her at arm's length. If the room wasn't so dark, she'd be looking Sarah in the eye. As it was, Lindsey was just hoping she was looking in Sarah's general direction. “Look, I'm not saying I wouldn't hook up with you, but I don't want to do it while either of us are drunk. So, how about I take you back to my apartment, you sleep whatever you've had off, and we talk about it in the morning?”

 

Sarah did something in the dark. Lindsey removed a hand from Sarah's shoulder to fake palm herself. “I can't see you in the dark, you gotta verbalise.”

 

“Oh, yeah.” Sarah said, and giggled. “We can go back to your place.”

 

* * *

 

**Catlynn**

 

Catlynn sat down on the back steps next to Lindsey and handed her an ice pack. Lindsey thanked her and pressed it to her cheek. She honestly hadn't expected the guy to punch back. He'd punched  _ hard _ , too, harder than Lindsey expected a guy two inches shorter than her to punch. 

 

“You didn't have to do that.” Catlynn said softly. Lindsey looked over at her. “I did, though. He was calling you a slut, and that's not okay. Sisters protect each other, and all that.”

 

“Lindsey, I am a slut.” Catlynn said. Lindsey wrapped her free arm around the girl and pulled her in for a side hug. “So am I, technically, but that doesn't mean it's a bad thing or that a guy can call us that as an insult. You can sleep with as many people as you want, and it doesn't make you less of a person.”

 

“Tell that to Gina.” Catlynn sniffed, carefully wiping her eyes so that she didn't mess up her eye makeup. It was really nice eye makeup, too. Lindsey was impressed. Catlynn leaned her head back and shook her hair out, blinking to get rid of the tears. “She called me a dirty, ugly skank while I was trying to make you an ice pack, and she told me I needed to keep my legs closed if I wanted to stay on the team. I don't know how I'm supposed to do that! The routine involves  _ two splits _ . I can't keep my legs closed and do a split at the same time. I don't know how!”

 

“That's not--never mind.” Lindsey said. “Gina’s not a nice person, Catlynn. I don't like talking bad about other girls, but I kind of have to with Gina. And, if it makes you feel better, she's probably had as much sex as you have.”

 

Catlynn sniffled again and leaned against Lindsey. “You're so nice. Why aren't you dating anyone?”

 

“Well, it's kind of hard to find someone to date.” Lindsey said. She took a deep breath, figuring that she might as well come out to Catlynn and hope that the girl was as accepting as the other girls had been. “You've probably heard about it by now, but I'm gay. It's hard to find people now who want to date me, since I'm a cheerleader and cheerleaders are supposed to be straight.”

 

“I'd date you.” Catlynn said. Lindsey raised an eyebrow. Catlynn looked up at Lindsey. “Well, not right now, because I heard you want to date Hayley, but we can kiss and hold hands and do dating things if you want.”

 

“Thanks.” Lindsey said. Catlynn placed her hand on Lindsey's knee. “Do you want to find another place to hang out? I don't really want to go back in there, and your face looks like it hurts a lot.”

 

“It's not that bad. The ice is helping.” Lindsey said. “But if you want to go somewhere, we can go somewhere.”

 

Catlynn smiled. “Wanna go steal a bottle of vodka from inside and then go make vodka ice cream to eat in the park?”

 

“Do you do this with all your friends, or just the ones who punch rude guys for you?” Lindsey asked, standing up and pulling Catlynn up with her. Catlynn smiled and leaned in, kissing Lindsey on the lips. She tasted like strawberries. “I just do it with the people I think are cute. And that is date if I could.”

 

Lindsey smiled back at her, and kissed her quickly. “Then let's go see if that milkshake place is still open.”

 

Catlynn grabbed her hand and the two girls slipped back into the party. No one seemed to pay attention to them, and they grabbed a mostly full bottle of vodka on their way out. Catlynn drove, turning up the music as loud as possible as they drove back into town. The milkshake place was open, and the two ordered their shakes (Lindsey got vanilla and Catlynn got strawberry) before heading out to the nearby park. 

 

The park wasn't much, but there was something really cool about it at night. It felt like it was in its own little universe, on a plane of existence where nothing mattered anymore and anything was possible. Catlynn led Lindsey over to the swings, where they mixed their milkshakes with the vodka and started sipping at their drinks. Vodka milkshakes tasted a little weird, but Lindsey liked them enough to actually drink some of hers. 

 

As she and Catlynn drank their milkshakes, they started talking about their lives. Catlynn was interesting. She wasn't smart in an academic way, but she knew so much about people and about fashion, and she had a lot of interesting shit to say about it all. 

 

About half way through the milkshakes, Catlynn leaned over and giggled, batting her eyelashes. “So, like, do you wanna make out?”

 

“Yeah, definitely.” Lindsey said. Catlynn got up and reached out for Lindsey's hand. Lindsey took it and the two girls, now both tipsy, headed over to the slide and jungle gym part of the playground. They tried to get to the top, but they were both laughing too much and concentrating on not spilling the rest of their drinks. They ended up flipping down on one of the lower platforms. Lindsey took a sip of her shake and set it down before turning to Catlynn. “So have you ever kissed a girl before?”

 

“No, but I've kissed before.” Catlynn said, and sat down on Lindsey's lap, on leg on each side of her. Lindsey cupped Catlynn’s face in her hands and brought her down, kissing her. The two of them made out and finished their drinks for a while, slowly hiking up each other's shirts and getting more assertive in their movements. It wasn't until Lindsey misplaced her hand and they almost fell off the equipment that she realises how late it was and how drunk the two of them were. 

 

Lindsey sat up, turned on and a little disoriented. She stared at Catlynn for a while before remembering why they’d stopped making out. “I should call someone.”

 

“Why?” Catlynn said. Both of them were completely shirtless and one of Catlynn’s bra straps had fallen off of her shoulder. She had a hand up Lindsey’s skirt, her fingers on the edge of Lindsey’s underwear. Catlynn smiled, a little loopy. “I’m having fun here.”

 

“Because we’re kinda drunk, and I’m pretty sure having sex on a playground is…” Lindsey paused as Catlynn’s fingers came up under her underwear. “...bad. Also, I have a bed.”

 

“Okay.” Catlynn nodded. “Call someone fun, though. I don’t want them to be a bitch about anything.”

 

Lindsey nodded, and retrieved her phone from her purse, which was on the platform beside them. Catlynn’s had fallen on the ground during their make-out session. Lindsey pointed this out to Catlynn, but Catlynn didn’t seem worried. Lindsey scrolled through her contacts a few times, trying to find someone to call. She settled on Alicia, because she figured Alicia would ask the least questions about what was going on.

 

Alicia picked up, luckily. “Lindsey, what is it? I’m with a guy.”

 

“Me and Catlynn are drunk and you need to drive us home.” Lindsey said. Catlynn leaned over and shouted (into the phone and Lindsey’s ear) “and have sex with us!”

 

“Is the sex thing really an offer?” Alicia asked. Lindsey laughed, “sure, but tomorrow. When we’re not drunk. Because consent, and that shit. Are you gonna come get us?”

 

Alicia agreed to get the two girls, and said she’d be there in about twenty minutes. Once Lindsey hung up, she turned back to Catlynn, telling her that they had twenty minutes until Alicia showed up. Catlynn giggled and then unbuttoned her shorts. “That’s enough time to make me orgasm, right? Because I like sex in public. It’s more fun.”

 

Lindsey stared Catlynn up and down. It wasn’t like she could say no, especially when they’d already been heading towards sex. Alicia wouldn’t care. Alicia had probably had sex in worse places than a playground.

 

* * *

 

**Sarah (again)**

 

Sarah invited Lindsey over to spend the night, and Lindsey took the offer even though it was a Wednesday. She didn’t need sleep; she had coffee and a lot of willpower. 

 

The two girls set up in Sarah’s room, and promised they’d get their homework done while Sarah’s parents were at church. Lindsey knew that they wouldn’t be getting any homework done while Sarah’s parents were out. No one actually did work while their parents weren’t there to supervise them. 

 

She was right, too, because as soon as Sarah’s parents were gone, Sarah told Lindsey to look for a good movie to watch, and that she also had a Netflix account if Lindsey couldn’t find anything. The two settled on  _ Perks of Being a Wallflower  _ and huddled together on Sarah's bed with a bag of popcorn between them. Sarah turned to Lindsey as the opening credits came up. “Just so you know, I might start crying while we watch this. I cry during, like, every movie I watch.”

 

“There's no shame in being emotional.” Lindsey said, grabbing a handful of popcorn and shoving it in her mouth. She knew that most of the girls on the cheer squad were conscious of what they ate and how much they are in front of people, but Lindsey didn't give a fuck. If she was hungry, she was going to eat. Her friends in band had never judged her for it, so she didn't see why these girls should. 

 

“I don't cry if I'm distracted, though, which is why I try to see movies on a date.” Sarah tossed a kernel of popcorn up into her mouth. “If I think I like it then I'll rent it or Netflix it with a friend, someone who won't care if I cry or not.”

 

“So am I a date or a friend?” Lindsey asked. Sarah bit down on her lip and averted her gaze. Lindsey raised an eyebrow at Sarah. “Wait, is this your attempt at Netflix and chill?”

 

Sarah ducked her head. “Maybe.”

 

Lindsey giggled and reached across the bed to cup Sarah's cheek. She moved the bowl out of the way so that they wouldn't knock it over and spill popcorn everywhere. “Hey, it worked. You got me alone in your room and I'm okay with fooling around.”

 

“I'm sorry I came onto you when I was drunk.” Sarah said quietly, her eyes on Lindsey's mouth. “I was just nervous, because you're so pretty and cool and obviously experienced with lesbian sex, and I don't even have the guts to come out as bi to anyone on the squad. I figured I didn't have a chance with you.”

 

“You do have a chance with me.” Lindsey said, and kissed Sarah. Sarah kissed back, making little noises against Lindsey's mouth as Lindsey maneuvered them so that Sarah was laying on her back and Lindsey was on top of her. Lindsey kissed down Sarah's neck, running her hands up under Sarah's shirt. “Do you want to take it?”

 

“Yes, please,” Sarah gasped. Lindsey moved up and kissed Sarah, pressing her body against the other girl’s and grinding down on her. 

 

So much for getting any homework done tonight. 

 

* * *

 

**Ellen**

 

Ellen was easy. She hosted a lot of parties, but it didn't take long for Lindsey to realise that Ellen wasn't a fan of all the partying going on in her house. She couldn't leave without a good reason, though, because that would make her look like a bad host. Lindsey was going to give her a good reason. 

 

Lindsey snagged a beer from the kitchen, avoiding a very drunk Catlynn who was attempting to twerk on anyone who looked in her direction, and found Ellen standing in the entertainment room, sipping from a cup of punch and looking bored. Lindsey leaned against the wall next to her and loudly opened her beer. “You look bored.”

 

“Gina makes me host most of the parties since I have the biggest house.” Ellen said, frowning. “At first I thought it was a privilege, and that I was Gina’s favourite, but it's not. Hosting parties, cleaning up after people, hoping none of my neighbours call the cops, it's all so stressful.”

 

“I'm sorry.” Lindsey said. 

 

“And no one here wants to do anything with me because they don't want to detract from me being able to play hostess. Which is so dumb.” Ellen rolled her eyes and drank from the punch. “They're going to wreck the house whether I watch over them or not. I just want to have some fun at my own parties. Do things that are reckless and adventurous. Be wild.”

 

“I know a way you can be wild.” Lindsey said. Ellen cocked an eyebrow and looked over. Lindsey took a sip of her beer. “Me and Alicia were probably going to hook up in one of your upstairs rooms tonight. Wanna join us?”

 

“Lindsey, I don't know how to do any of that.” Ellen said. “I'm not experienced like either of you are.”

 

“I've never had a threeway, if that makes you feel better.” Lindsey offered. “And we can teach you as we go. It'll be fun.”

 

Ellen thought it over for a minute, pursing her lips and tapping a manicured nail against her cup. Lindsey waited, and after about a minute, Ellen nodded. “Okay, sure. Why not be a little impulsive, right?”

 

Lindsey grinned. “Great! Let's go find Alicia and we can go upstairs for a  _ real _ party.”

 

* * *

 

**Alicia (again)**

 

Lindsey arched back, letting out a moan as Alicia fingered her clit. Alicia was also sucking a hickey above Lindsey's left nipple, just on the right side of painful. Lindsey was trying to dig her fingers into Alicia's back to grip her properly, but she was a lesbian so her nails were too short to do anything. 

 

Alicia licked over Lindsey’s nipple, pulling the girl in close. “So, how’s the whole turning everyone gay thing going?”

 

“You’re asking me this now?” Lindsey gasped out, her legs beginning to shake as Alicia brought her closer to the edge. Alicia nodded against Lindsey’s chest. “We’re friends, right? Friends catch up with each other.”

 

Lindsey slumped against Alicia, whining and grabbing onto Alicia’s back as Alicia finished her off. She came with a high pitched whine that she muffled by biting into the fleshy part of Alicia’s shoulder. Her legs were shaking from the orgasm (apparently Alicia was a quick learn and knew what she was doing now) and she fell against Alicia. Both girls tumbled back onto Alicia’s bed, Alicia letting out a grunt as she hit the mattress. Alicia trailed her hands up Lindsey’s stomach and pushed her down. “Before you eat me out, tell me what you’ve been up to. I want to know.”

 

Lindsey rolled her eyes and pressed a finger to Alicia, applying pressure so that Alicia began to squirm. “I’ve gotten through most of them… I just have five more.”

 

“Ooh,” Alicia sing-songed, and then arched up as Lindsey hit a sensitive spot with her fingers and started working them. Alicia reached out and grabbed Lindsey’s wrist tightly. “Ah, fuck. Fuck, who haven’t you fucked yet?”

 

“Uh, Stacie, Cammie, and Brigit.” Lindsey said. She leaned down and kissed Alicia’s inner thighs, leaving behind faint lipstick marks. “And Hayley and Gina. Gina’s gonna be hard.”

 

“No fucking shit.” Alicia said, tightening her grip on Lindsey’s wrist. “Now shut the fuck up and do something useful with your mouth.”

 

Lindsey lifted her head up to grin at Alicia, and then she did what she was told. 

 

* * *

 

**Brigit**

 

Brigit was undoing her braid, sitting with her legs crossed and a concentrated pout on her face. Lindsey, who had gone with a simple ponytail, unclipped her bow and sat down beside the blonde girl. “Do you want help with that?”

 

“Oh my God, yes, please.” Brigit said, and dropped her braid. Lindsey got to unbraiding it, and Brigit started talking about her latest issue with her boyfriend, who was on some abstinence streak and wouldn’t even kiss her. It sounded tragic and very heterosexual. Lindsey suggested that Brigit just break up with him, if she didn’t like the way the relationship was going, and Brigit whipped around so quickly that she hit Lindsey with her hair. “I can’t break up with him! Homecoming is in two weeks, and I don’t have enough time to get a date if I break up with him. There’s an entire mourning period I have to go through before I can even  _ consider _ getting a new boyfriend.”

 

“Oh, speaking of homecoming,” Gina swept in, sitting beside Lindsey and looking fake innocent. She pointed a manicured nail in Lindsey’s direction. “I heard you didn’t have a boyfriend for homecoming, so I started looking around for guys you might like. He’ll be picking you up at eight tomorrow night.”

 

“What.” Lindsey said. Gina smiled. “His name is Jared. You’ll like him. He listens to a lot of music. You like music, right?”

 

“I like certain types of music--”

 

“Oh, perfect!” Gina clapped her hands together like she was cupid and she had just found Lindsey her soulmate. Lindsey wasn’t even into guys, so unless Jared was a closeted transfeminine person, Lindsey was not going to be interested in him. Gina didn’t know this, apparently. She turned to Brigit with the same smile on her face. “Oh, and because of, like, girl code or whatever, I made it a double date. Jared’s a friend of your boyfriend. He goes to Catholic school, though, so he’ll know how to dress. Unlike your boyfriend.”

 

Brigit frowned. “Kaleb knows how to dress himself.”

 

“Really? Because last time I checked, he was still an ugly slob. I’m surprised you even want to have sex with him.” Gina looked Brigit up and down. “It’s probably because you’re desperate. It’s not like you have any guys lining up to have sex with your fat ass.”

 

Lindsey punched Gina. It wasn’t intentional, except it was. She’d dealt with enough people making fun of Gee for their inability to get a date. She’d joined this squad to help her band friends, but somewhere along the line, these girls had become her friends as well. Lindsey wasn’t going to just sit back and let Gina walk over all of them just because she thought her role as squad captain made her an authority figure. She didn't regret it, either, even when Gina let out a cry and pressed her hand to her nose, tilting her head back and glaring at Lindsey through the tears. Gina’s lip wobbled. “You little bitch! You can't hit me!”

 

“I can and I did.” Lindsey said. “You can't just insult people and call them shit. I don't care if you're the captain of this team or not. If you insult my friends, I  _ will _ hurt you.”

 

Gina’s eyes narrowed. “If you're going to be violent then you can't be on this team. I shouldn't have to fear for my well-being in my own home.”

 

“This cheer squad isn't your home, Gina.” Christa said, stepping forward so that she came between the two girls. Lindsey appreciated the gesture, but she had no plans to punch Gina again. She'd made her point. She just hoped that the other girls understood why she did it and didn't kick her off the team. 

 

“Of course you'd side with her.” Gina rolled her eyes. “You're the dumb bitch who brought her on the team in the first place.”

 

“I agree with Christa and Lindsey.” Alicia said, crossing her arms. The rest of the girls started to agree as well, saying that Lindsey's actions had been reasonable, considering the situation. Gina shook her head. “I can't believe it. This bitch,” she pointed her other hand at Lindsey, “is using her dykey witch powers to make you think she's nice. She just punched me in the face for pointing out something we all know. Brigit’s boyfriend could work on his appearance a bit more. That's not an insult. It's just an observation. Brigit just needs to not be so sensitive, and Lindsey needs to get off her period and stop being a bitch.”

 

The room was silent. It was like they were waiting for Lindsey's response. Lindsey let out a sigh. “Look, Gina. You can hate me all you want, but you can't kick me off the team without a majority vote. So, why don't we call this one a draw, and if you have any problems with me in the future, do everyone a favour and keep them between us. Not everyone needs to know the drama.”

 

Gina glared at Lindsey for a moment, then got up and stormed out, saying she was going to the nurse. Once she was gone, the rest of the girls started to pack up. Lindsey took her time, seeing that Brigit was doing the same. 

 

Lindsey waited until she and Brigit were the only two left in the locker room before she came over and placed a hand on the blonde girl’s shoulder. “Hey. I'm sorry Gina was a dick to you.”

 

“It's okay. She's said worse before.” Brigit said, dabbing at her face with her finger. “You shouldn't have punched her, Lindsey. Now she's going to come after you, and she's going to find whatever it is that can get to you.”

 

“Nothing Gina could say will ever get to me.” Lindsey said. She sat down next to Brigit and pulled the girl close, hugging her tightly. Brigit hugged her back, and let out a little sniffle. “She’s right, you know? I am desperate, and a fat, ugly slut.”

 

“No you’re not.” Lindsey said, because Brigit was smaller than her. Brigit was a fly girl, maybe five feet tall and thin. Sure, she had a nice butt, but Lindsey figured that was from all the squats she did and not because she was unhealthy. She wasn’t desperate, either. Lindsey said all of this, and eventually convinced Brigit that Gina was just full of shit. Brigit wiped away her tears, careful to not mess up her makeup. She gave Lindsey a sad smile. “We’re still going to have to go on that double date tomorrow.”

 

“Shit.” Lindsey said, and got a laugh out of Brigit. That was something.

 

She spent the next day dreading her date. She didn’t know anything about Jared other than he went to the expensive Catholic school on the other side of town and liked music. She didn’t even know what kind of music he liked, and she didn’t have high hopes. Catholic school kids didn’t have good taste in music. 

 

Jared was on time, though, which was nice. He had a shiny car and opened the door for her. He told her she was dressed nicely, and she told him she liked his tie (it was silver and dark blue and Lindsey was a little jealous because all of her ties came from Goodwill and would probably never look like Jared’s). He started driving, and that was when the date went downhill. He was blasting country music, and singing along. And when it wasn’t country, it was Jesus rock. 

 

Lindsey, of course, was a witch. She didn’t like country music either, because she loved herself. 

 

The date ended up being at the Toro’s restaurant, and it was okay at first. Then Jared and Brigit’s boyfriend, Kaleb, started talking about professional football and Lindsey got really, really bored. She didn’t know anything about football. She was an art student, for fucks sake! Luckily, she made eye contact with Brigit, who was looking just as bored, and the two of them excused themselves to go to the bathroom. 

 

Once they were in the bathroom, Brigit pulled Lindsey into the handicapped stall and locked the door. She leaned against the wall and ran a hand through her hair. “I feel so sorry for you. Jared must be, like, the worst boy you’ve gone on a date with.”

 

“He’s the only boy I’ve gone on a date with.” Lindsey said. Brigit’s eyes widened. “So it’s true? You are a lesbian?”

 

“Yeah.” Lindsey nodded. “And I feel worse for you. You’re actually dating Kaleb.”

 

Brigit rolled her eyes. “I know. He’s cute, and he’s funny, but I really wish I wasn’t his girlfriend, you know? I like hanging out with him, but whenever we start getting sexual, it’s like he turns me off completely. I don’t think I like him as a boyfriend anymore, but I don’t know how to tell him, and I’m just stressed and sexually frustrated.”

 

“I can fix that for you.” Lindsey offered. Brigit perked up. “Really? Are you going to make me orgasm?”

 

“More than that. We can have some really good bathroom sex.: Lindsey said. She stepped forward. “I have two conditions, though. First, you need to break up with Kaleb if you want to make this a thing with me or with anyone else who knows how to get you off properly.”

 

Brigit nodded. “That’s not a problem.”

 

“Okay.” Lindsey said. “Second: you need to reciprocate the sex. I don’t just eat girls out for fun, you know.”

 

Brigit grinned. “That’s also not a problem.”

 

* * *

 

**Hayley**

 

“So, how do you like Jared?” Gina asked, sugary sweet, as Lindsey and Christa came into the locker room for after school practice the next day. Lindsey made eye contact with Brigit, who gave her a thumbs up. Lindsey turned back to Gina, who had a brace thing on her nose. Lindsey hadn’t even punched her that hard. 

 

“He was okay, but he wasn’t really my type.” Lindsey said. Gina pouted. “Oh, but he’s so cute. You probably just need to get to know him better. He’ll be at the after game party tomorrow. I’ll make sure to point him in your direction!”

 

“Thanks.” Lindsey said. 

 

Practice that day was routine, and Lindsey was sure to get off the field before the marching band came on. Christa drove her home, and she got all of her homework done so that she could maybe get to sleep at a reasonable hour. She ignored the three texts she got from Chantal and deleted Jimmy’s voicemail without listening to it because she knew it would hurt to hear him. He and Chantal were good friends, and they were still trying to contact her, even after almost two months of her being gone. 

 

Lindsey didn’t deserve the friends she had in band. They were all too good for her, and she just hoped they would forgive her and understand why she had left when all this was over and she could finally return.

 

She fell asleep on her bed, face down against the pillow and snoring lightly. She missed her alarm, but didn’t miss her bus, and got through the school day without any issues. She and Alicia skipped math to smoke and fool around in the upstairs bathrooms, and she joined Cammie, Christa, and Brigit for lunch. 

 

The football game (away) was boring, and Belleville won. The other team only scored one field goal, and the cheerleaders were drowned out by the student section for most of the game. The bus ride back was loud and full of girls screaming at each other about various things. 

 

They all went home to change into party clothes and met back up at someone’s (Lindsey didn’t get the name of the host) house. Christa drove Lindsey, but disappeared once they were inside. Lindsey headed to the kitchen and grabbed a slice of pizza and a cup of punch. She wasn’t in the mood for beer; she wanted something that would get her drunk enough that Christa would just take her home. She didn’t want to party. She wanted to go to bed.

 

She found a chair and ate her pizza, drinking from her punch as she went. Soon enough, Hayley joined her, a silly grin on her face. Hayley adjusted the sleeves of her crop top. “So, do you think the homecoming game is going to be harder or easier than this one?”

 

“Are you talking as a cheerleader or as a football player?” Lindsey asked. Hayley looked incredible, her soft red hair layered around her face and her sparkly lipgloss glittering in the kitchen lights. Lindsey wanted to kiss her, and that wasn’t the alcohol talking, because she wasn’t drunk yet. 

 

“Whichever you want.” Hayley shrugged. Lindsey blinked a few times, trying to think about something other than Hayley Williams and her exposed hips. It was harder than she thought, but she did it. “As a football player, it’ll be easy. The other team has only won one game so far, and we haven’t lost one yet. As a cheerleader, though, it’ll be hard because everyone will be talking about homecoming plans instead of what’s going on in the game.”

 

Hayley nodded. “Good point. At least the queen this year is in the pep squad. Last year, she was just a rich girl with a lot of friends and she paid off half the school to go to her party instead of the game.”

 

“Oh, shit, I remember that!” Lindsey snapped her fingers, and then thought that she was probably the lamest person in the world. Who the fuck snapped their fingers when remembering something? What the fuck. “Er, I was in band, back then. And… there was like no one there. At all. It was fucking weird.”

 

“It was probably the quietest game all season last year.” Hayley nodded in agreement. “Hopefully this year will be better.”

 

Lindsey nodded in agreement. Hayley perked up. “Oh, I wanted to ask you if you’ve got a date yet! I don’t mind if you don’t--there’s a lot to be said about going to a dance with friends--but Gina’s on everyone’s ass about appearances. After what happened the other day, with her nose and all, you should probably have a date. Just to be on the safe side.”

 

“Does it have to be a guy?” Lindsey said, knowing that she was whining a little. Hayley giggled and rubbed Lindsey’s bare shoulder. “Unfortunately, yes. But you can always leave him once you get to the dance. I heard a lot of the other girls are planning to ditch their dates for being bad boyfriends.”

 

Lindsey raised an eyebrow. “Seriously?”

 

Hayley nodded. “Seriously. You wouldn’t happen to know anything about that, would you?”

 

“Maybe?” Lindsey said. “Should I not be teaching girls that their bodies and sexual pleasures are just as important as their boyfriends?”

 

“I mean, I’m all for that, but people are getting ideas.” Hayley said, frowning a little. She glanced around the room, and then motioned for Lindsey to scoot over so that they could share the chair. Lindsey moved over, and Hayley sat down, her small frame easily fitting in next to Lindsey’s. She took a sip from her drink and turned to face Lindsey, their faces inches apart. “They’re calling you easy, and a homewrecker. Someone even started a rumour that you fucked Christa  _ and  _ the cheer coach to get on the team.”

 

Lindsey rolled her eyes. “I didn’t, though. I got on on my own.”

 

“I know.” Hayley said. “And, before you get pissed off at me, I don’t care how many people you have sex with. Just… be careful. I don't want you to get in over your head with this.”

 

“Thanks.” Lindsey said. The two girls settled into silence for a while, just sipping their drinks and watching everyone make a fool of themselves as they tried to impress everyone at the party. Hannah and Brigit came over and dragged Lindsey and Hayley over to where a large group of people were dancing. The music was loud, and some bass-heavy remix of a top 40 song that Lindsey barely recognised, but it had a good beat and Lindsey found herself jumping up and down along with the other three. An obviously drunk Catlynn came over and started shaking her butt against Lindsey's crotch. Lindsey laughed and spun Catlynn around, dipping her without dropping her. She heard Hannah whistle loudly, and Brigit wiggled her eyebrows. Catlynn giggled and smacked a kiss on Lindsey's cheek. “Come find me later if you wanna hook up.”

 

Lindsey nodded, but she had no intention of fooling around with Catlynn, not when Catlynn was so obviously out of it. Lindsey wouldn't take advantage of her, even if they had had sex before. That wasn't how consent worked. 

 

Lindsey turned back to her friends once Catlynn had disappeared into the crowd. Brigit bumped her hip against Lindsey's. “I didn't know you and Catlynn were a thing. I thought you were with Alicia.”

 

“I'm not with either of them.” Lindsey said. Hannah’s eyes widened. “Really? Because, like, some of us were hoping you'd take Alicia to homecoming, just to piss Gina off. I mean, you could totally go with Catlynn if you wanted, but you and Alicia are like total lesbian power couple, and you're both totally brave enough to tell Gina to fuck off.”

 

“Me and Alicia aren't dating.” Lindsey said, purposely looking over at Hayley. “Alicia doesn't date people, and I'm not interested in a serious relationship with her.”

 

“Ooh, really?” Hannah asked, looking way too curious. “Does that mean you're looking for a serious relationship with someone else then?”

 

Lindsey opened and closed her mouth, not sure what to say. Usually, she was confident in admitting that she wanted to date someone, but Hayley was different. It was nerve wracking to even think about telling someone about her crush. The only reason that Christa and Alicia knew was because Lindsey needed to tell someone and, out of all the girls on the squad, she knew them the best. 

 

“Hey, Lindsey, wanna go get some drinks?” Hayley said, and started pulling Lindsey out of the mob of dancers before Lindsey could say anything. Lindsey let Hayley drag her through the house, out onto the back deck where a few people were smoking weed and talking about  _ How To Get Away With Murder _ . Hayley led Lindsey to the stairs and the two of them sat down. Hayley looked Lindsey over, her eyes catching the light and reflecting back brightly. “You okay? You looked like you were cornered back there.”

 

Lindsey nodded. Hayley reached out and put her hand on the side of Lindsey's neck. “You don't have to tell them if you like someone. I know they're trying to be friendly, but if you want to keep your crush private, just let me know and I'll… I don't know but I'll figure out a way to keep them from figuring out who it is.”

 

“Thanks, but,” Lindsey started, and then did the impulsive thing. She leaned forward and kissed Hayley on the lips. Hayley kissed back, which was good, and ran her fingers through Lindsey's hair. Lindsey put her hand on Hayley's thigh, leaning to get a better angle. They kissed for a while, silently with the sounds of the party and the late night air keeping them company. They were surrounded by so many people, but Lindsey felt like they were completely alone. It was good. It was as it should be. She moved her hand up, her fingertips dipping under the hem of Hayley's shorts. 

 

Hayley leaned back from the kiss, and Lindsey let out a whimper that was embarrassing as fuck. Hayley ran her hand through her hair, attempting to fix it. Lindsey sat back down on the steps. Hayley looked down at her knees, let out a sigh, and then looked up at Lindsey again. “What are we, Lindsey?”

 

“What do you mean?” She asked, her voice shaking a little and her mind only chanting  _ shit _ repetitively. 

 

“I mean, are we just gonna go upstairs and fuck or do you actually want to go somewhere with this?” Hayley said. Lindsey bit her lip. Hayley put her hands on her knees. “Because, the thing is, I like you. And, I've known I was gay for a while, but I wasn't ready to come out until you happened. I didn't know that someone could be so confident in their sexual orientation and so cool and dorky and fun to be around. And then I met you, and you were all of those things, and at first I was like, okay, she doesn't date, she just has a lot of casual sex, and I told myself I would be okay just being a one night stand. But then you kept, I don't know, being you, and I realised that I didn't want to just be another girl you fucked. I want to date you, Lindsey.”

 

“I want to date you too, Hayley.” Lindsey said quietly. “But.”

 

“But I'm selfish.” Hayley said, her voice soft now. “And I don't want to share you with another girl. So, I guess, if you want to have something with me, you can't keep hooking up with other people. I don't want to be controlling or get jealous but I do, and I don't think I can just have sex with you and move on.”

 

Lindsey stared at her. Hayley stared back. She gave Lindsey a sad smile and leaned forward, kissing the corner of her mouth before standing up and leaving. Lindsey watched her go, and then she took the first thing she could find and hurled it out into the backyard. “Fuck.”

 

The item she threw was her boot. 

 

“Fuck, fuck, I'm an idiot, I fucking fell for her I'm such a fucking--”

 

“Lindsey?” A voice said. Lindsey wiped at her face to make sure she didn't look too bad and then turned around to see Alicia standing there with a joint in her hand and one sleeve of her crop top fallen from her shoulder. Alicia knelt down beside Lindsey. “Are you okay?”

 

Lindsey shook her head. She couldn't believe that she was crying, but she was and she was an idiot. Alicia asked her what was wrong and Lindsey started to explain everything, from the bullying to Gee skipping a week of school to Frank having to go to the hospital because of how bad it was. Alicia listened to it all, and when Lindsey finally got to the part with Hayley, Alicia took a drag from the blunt, blew the smoke up into the air, handed it to Lindsey, and said, “if Cammie, Stacy, and Gina are the only ones left, I can do them for you. That way you get the girl and you get the revenge.”

 

Lindsey stared at her. “Seriously?”

 

Alicia nodded. “Yeah. I've never given up a chance to get laid before. And besides, you and Hayley would make a cute ass couple. Go for it. Make a big, gay homecoming proposal out of it.”

 

Lindsey wrapped her joint-free arm around Alicia and hugged her. “Thank you, you're amazing.”

 

“Nah, I'm just horny.” Alicia said. She took her joint back before Lindsey could have any, took another deep drag, and kissed Lindsey, blowing the smoke into her mouth. Lindsey inhaled it, and when Alicia stood up, she blew it out. Alicia gave her a wink and then sauntered back into the house, leaving Lindsey alone on the back porch to come up with a plan to win Hayley over and show the asshole jocks that their girlfriends were leaving them because they were subpar, homophobic dicks. 

 

The plan started at Christa’s house and ended outside of Hayley’s second period physics class. Christa, using her good girl charm, convinced the teacher to let Hayley out for a moment, and once Hayley was out of the classroom, Lindsey sprung forward and got down on one knee. She unfolded the poster that she and Sarah had spent the previous afternoon creating and smiled up at Hayley, hoping for the best. 

 

_ Hayley: _

_ I'm sorry for making you think you weren't more than a fling. You're the coolest girl on this squad and the best VP Belleville High has ever seen. I know you're not president yet, but if you'll come with me to homecoming I'll stick around to be your First Lady of the school.  _

_ -Lynz _

 

Hayley looked up from reading it. “Is this you apologising, or…?”

 

“It’s me saying I want to be exclusive.” Lindsey said, getting up off of the floor. “With you. I want to be your girlfriend, and go to homecoming, and see how this works.”

 

Hayley smiled, and moved forward, pulling Lindsey into a hug. “Yes. Yes, I want to go to homecoming with you, and see how this goes. I like you, Lindsey.”

 

“I like you too.” Lindsey said. “But you should probably go back to class so that you don’t miss anything important. Or get in trouble. Or whatever it is that happens to people who put effort into their classes.”

 

Hayley rolled her eyes, smiling, and let go of Lindsey. She returned to class, Lindsey and Christa returned to theirs, and started discussing how they were going to tell Gina that Lindsey and Hayley were going together, in a gay way. The discussion carried over the rest of the week, and before they knew it, it was homecoming and Gina still didn’t know that Hayley and Lindsey were dating. The rest of the team did, and Lindsey also knew that Alicia had slept with Cammie, Stacy, and Gina because she’d gotten confirmation texts from Alicia after every time. 

 

Homecoming night was a rush of nerves and teenage girls screaming along to their favourite songs. It was dancing in a dress that kept riding up Lindsey’s thighs and Hayley smacking her butt and the both of them laughing when Gina looked insulted. It was losing her shoes because some random guy stole all the cheerleaders shoes to do creepy straight guy things with them. Lindsey didn’t question it, because those shoes weren’t hers to begin with, and she still had her boots at home.

 

The best part was when the other girls started ditching their dates. It was a wave of girls telling their boyfriends to get better or get lost, and the boyfriends starting to complain before they got shut down completely. Sophie even smacked her boyfriend when he said she was just being a little bitch. It was beautiful and the best school event Lindsey had ever gone to.

 

It ended around eleven, and everyone started filing out to go to their after parties and get drunk since they weren’t allowed at school and the administrators actually gave two shits about alcohol at homecoming. When asked if she’d be going to Ellen’s party, Hayley wrapped an arm around Lindsey’s waist and said, “no thanks. We’ve got our own plans.”

 

Lindsey raised an eyebrow, but let Hayley lead her away from the crowds over to where the cars were all parked. Hayley pulled Lindsey into a kiss, the two of them falling against the nearest car as the kissing got messier and Lindsey pressed her leg up between Hayley’s. Hayley let out a soft gasp and leaned back, keeping her hands on Lindsey’s hips. “So, I have a really nice bed back at my house…”

 

“Do you think we’re going to make it back to the bed?” Lindsey asked, as Hayley dropped one of her hands and trailed it up under Lindsey’s dress. Hayley shrugged. “Does it matter? I thought you said girls could have multiple orgasms?”

 

Lindsey whimpered as Hayley ran her fingers over Lindsey’s clit, the fabric of her underwear creating friction. Lindsey ducked her head down and sucked on Hayley’s neck, enjoying how Hayley seemed to sink against her as she did so. Lindsey kissed up the side of Hayley’s neck. “Why don’t we see how many we can get through in one night?”

 

“I’m good with that.” Hayley said. Lindsey grinned and kissed her again. It was a good twenty minutes before they actually got into a car.

 

* * *

 

**Post-Op: Gee**

 

It was the Tuesday after homecoming, and Lindsey was shaking from nerves. It wasn’t because she was afraid to be out as a lesbian. No, the cheerleading squad had made it perfectly clear to their exes, and their exes friends, that being gay was not a reason to beat someone up. Gina’s controlling attitude had also been dealt with, and the entire squad (without Lindsey’s influence) had decided that Christa would be the captain next year, and that Gina would finish out this season as captain. Lindsey wasn’t even nervous about being in a legitimate relationship with Hayley Williams. Aside from when Frank and Ray had burst into her apartment, Lindsey and Hayley had spent most of the weekend making out and having a lot of sex. Those parts of Lindsey’s life were great.

 

Lindsey was shaking with nerves because of what she had sent Gee the previous evening. Ray was right: she needed to come clean. There was nothing keeping her from hanging out with her band friends, now that Gina wasn’t controlling the girls. There was nothing keeping her from coming clean with everything, and so she was going to do it.

 

Finally, she saw Gee’s car, now with a long scratch in it from where some assholes had keyed it, pull into a parking space. Gee and Mikey got out, both of them in dark hoodies and faded jeans, and headed up towards the school. Mikey didn’t have his phone out, and Gee was looking around, their hands in the pocket of their jacket. Lindsey waited for them to come to her, and they did, Mikey a half step behind Gee and looking down at Lindsey like he wouldn’t even trust her with his beanie. 

 

Gee poked at the ground with the toe of their white Converse. “You wanted to talk?”

 

“I wanted to apologise.” Lindsey said. “I shouldn’t have disappeared without telling you, because you’re my best friend and you should know what’s going on with your friends. I came up with a plan, a really badly thought out plan, to get those assholes to leave you and Frank and everyone else alone. I got Christa involved without telling Ray what I was doing, and I thought that once I got started, I would be able to tell you where I went.”

 

Gee frowned. “Why didn’t you?”

 

“The cheerleader captain was a hard ass and basically made us all pledge undying loyalty to the squad and no one else.” Lindsey said. Gee looked like they didn’t believe her, and she held up a hand to keep them from saying anything. “I know, it sounds ridiculous, but I wanted to get them to trust me so for once I did what I was told. And I got the girls to trust me, and I convinced them to all leave their boyfriends for being narcissistic, homophobic assholes, and basically now I have a gang of cheerleaders who will fight anyone who’s a dick to our friends. I’m sorry it hurt our friendship, though, and if you don’t forgive me, or want to not talk to me for a while, I understand completely. I was kind of an ass to you, and Ray and Kitty and Frank.”

 

Gee shook their head and sat down next to Lindsey. “You’re my best friend. I think I’d forgive you even if you killed someone.”

 

“What if Lindsey killed me?” Mikey asked while typing on his phone. Gee frowned. “I don’t think I could forgive you for that, Lynz. Mikey’s my brother. He’s, like, the most important person in my life, ever.”

 

“I’m okay with that.” Lindsey said. She bumped shoulders with Gee. “So, we’re good, right?”

 

“Yeah, we’re good.” Gee said. They kicked their legs in the air. “When are you going to come back to band?”

  
“Whenever football season is over.” Lindsey said. “They don’t need me for the basketball cheer team, so I’ll be back in time for spring concert, but I won’t be a part of marching band this season. I’ll be back for next year, though. I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed! Please leave a comment/kudos if you did, and you can also find me on tumblr as pickledgerard!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! If you liked it, please leave a kudo or a comment!


End file.
